SPEAKER_01 0:00

All right. Welcome back to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast. Welcome to 2023. Welcome to a new age outlaw of information. That was terrible. I didn't try that again. Bash the Stampede. Was that a new version of the anyway? Sorry. Gotta focus. Welcome all to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast. We're on a different level. It's what we call growth. It's what we call insurrect. No, I almost said insurrection. Sorry. Welcome back to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast, everybody. It is 2023. We're living it up. Woo! All right, so uh we are here this to today to, of course, bring you into a new year of the podcast. Uh, we've got a bunch of new things that we want to talk about, new changes in people's lives, um, new, new, new differences, uh, uh, you know, between hair color, hair length, uh, uh, um, amount of children, um, new new new leases in life and and occupations, new uh uh uh research and development, uh, new businesses and ideas, like people are doing it up, people are living it well. Um, and then there's the other things we need to talk about, like mental health and and stress relief and how to relax and how to take your ass away from work and actually sit your ass down and think about things. We are gonna talk about it all, and then some. So, of course, I'm gonna start today by introducing our lovely lineup of panelists. They are some of your favorites, your favorite uh uh uh cosplayers, your favorite business owners, your favorite doctors. Uh, we have them all here for you today, uh, starting with the doctor, one and only the doctor. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_00 1:37

What's good, and I'm doing alright. Happy to be back here in the new year.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Woo! Awesome! We have your favorite uh uh figurative doctor and business owner, Dr. Haleen Finzel. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_06 1:51

I'm good.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

What's up with everybody? We have uh business owner, content creator, cosplayer extraordinaire award winner, uh uh uh uh mixture between the real and the belief, the gender bent and the gender deceiving, Miss Skittles.

SPEAKER_05 2:11

I was like, who is this and where is it? Uh it's me. Hello, hello, happy new year, everyone. Welcome to 2023.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Then, of course, we have the cosplay stylings, the the colorful deception, the horror film grotesque of Miss Noir, these the the the Sione cosplay. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_04 2:36

Hello there, everyone, and thank you, Suchi, for that that wonderful introduction. I appreciate you. You you really do precede yourself with everything you do too much, almost. There it is.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

That's what we like to hear. And of course, myself, your moderator, Suchi No Shogun, back again. I'm quite excited to lead off this year. I'm sorry, that accent came out of nowhere. I was about to say that was on accident. I'm quite excited. I like the creativity.

SPEAKER_00 3:04

I do.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Right, right.

SPEAKER_07 3:06

I'm like, woo, okay, all right.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

I had to throw it away, sorry. Um very excited to come into 2023, starting off this podcast uh with this group of panelists. Uh we are, you know, as I said, you know, each and every one of us have, you know, decided to move forward of different aspects of our lives and different aspects of our uh professional and academic and um um, I guess natural, maternal, maternal, anyway, uh aspects of our lives. We're deciding to move forward and do things. So, because of that, I just wanted to have a very comforting, confident, relaxing session today where we're just going to talk about us and we and she or he or they. Um, yes. So, starting off, 2022, is it actually gone? Many people believe that it is, but others believe that it's a trick. So, panelists, how did your 2022 end off? Let's let's let's rate your 2022 on a scale of one to five. How did it end off? And we are going to start with who probably has a number already. Actually, none of you, because you all look like you're thinking about your number. So I'll go ahead and start. Thank you.

SPEAKER_06 4:26

No, for real, because I was over here.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

Um, so for myself, um, if I was to rate 2022, I would give it a negative 40. Um, and not because, you know, like the world ended, although several times things happened, uh, but a lot of you know, just things happened. Uh uh losses, uh changes, um, grief, all types of things uh happened in 2022 for me. And uh I will say that I I met meditated, prayed, you know, fasted, you know, sat down and just said, you know what, we gotta move into the next phase. And that's what I did. I'm I'm moving into the next phase and hoping that 2023 will be completely different because 2022 can kick rocks, especially October. Um, so uh let's move on uh to anybody want to just go ahead and jump in? Anybody? Um yeah, sure, I'll jump in. All right, the doctor. How was your 2022 rate on a scale of what I said one to five? Yes. Yeah, one of the five.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Oh yeah, my 2022 was overall mostly good. Mostly good in the end, at least. So I would give it a four. You know, there were definitely some downs, especially early in the year, you know, some family stuff that happened and some health issues that y'all need to work through, but things have been improving a lot. Um, and then, you know, as far as career stuff, like that really took off for me in March of 2022. Like that, you know, starting a new position at an institution that I've really loved so far, my research expanding, like getting to work with more students, um, doing a lot more of like HIV S TI prevention stuff. And like I I really, really have gotten some opportunities that I did not think I would have.

SPEAKER_03 6:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Um, and yeah, even with all the strife early on and challenges, things have ultimately gone really, really well. So um it's hard to call it a five because you know there was you know a lot of bullshit mixed in there, you know, at that point. Not alone. But yeah, I think uh it's a solid four.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

You know, okay, awesome, awesome. All right, that's you know, being able to kind of rate it a four, especially if you know shit happens, is very, you know, people may call it mature, but I think for me, I would call it uh it's very it's eye-opening because you're you're you're understanding with the negatives, the positives still grew out of them. You know, dirty soil, you mid till it's a bit, and a plant was able to grow. So awesome, phenomenal, Doctor. Uh, let's move to okay, Miss Skittles and Sayune Casplay have looks on their faces. I'm not sure. Miss Quinzel looks like she's still thinking. I'll throw a coin up. I'm gonna say Miss Kittos.

SPEAKER_05 7:19

Okay, okay, okay. So I'ma give it a 3.5.

unknown 7:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 7:27

Okay, so in the beginning of the year, everything was cool, gravy, you know. I was I was good. I was good. Uh, yeah. And it's funny because I made like a move, uh, not a move board. Um, what's the board thing that you do? That I've got a book.

SPEAKER_06 7:43

A vision board.

SPEAKER_05 7:45

I made a vision board um in 2021 and and I couldn't, I didn't have anything to put on the board. Like I felt, yeah, I was I was literally like, yo, like, what the hell? I felt like 2022 was gonna be like a terrible year. But the beginning of the year turned out to be very, you know, it was good. Um, I yeah, I can't complain. Uh, I traveled a whole lot last year. Um, and I think that was good for me, uh, especially considering like the pandemic and not gonna go anywhere. So 22 was my year where I finally got on a plane and was and I was out, like when I say I was out everywhere, like I was outside, like like you couldn't catch me in Virginia, Philly or whatever. So um, so the middle of the year I I had a complete uh mental breakdown uh health-wise, I had to uh actually seek uh more professional help because I'm already in therapy, but then I had to seek more things uh to get my shit in order. Um so after that little breakdown or whatever, I end up for my birthday. I went to Barbados. That trip probably is what caused the reset. So um, so after the reset, things picked up. So um, so yeah, um, well, I I had started school, I already started school at the beginning of the year, but anyways, um towards the end of the year, uh, ended my semester, made the Dean's list. Yes, yeah, congrats. So that was awesome. Um Thanksgiving was pretty dope. I didn't have to travel, my people came here to see me, and then Christmas was also um surprisingly went well, considering that um some of my family, you know, we have you know, y'all know how families get when they get together. So, yeah, everybody, everybody got along, um, and you know, what more can I ask for? Um, the new year and the new year. I'm gonna be honest, I was I was literally like back down like depressed. Like New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, like I literally was just sitting here like holy shit, it's 2023 though. What what am I and I have all these plans for the new year, so I think I just kind of overwhelmed myself, but um yeah, um I think it would have been a four if I didn't have that breakdown the way that I did, and and and and because it was so drastic, it like where I shut down for like two weeks, didn't go to work getting a bitty. So if it if that didn't happen, I it probably did a four.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

All right, well, you know, but we are here now, you're in 2023, you've gotten over the you know the two-day stint. Uh you're you're you're talking to people, you know, you're you're posting again. So, you know, people still checking on you, looking for you. That's good. You know, progression, progression. Um, from one dean's list recipient to another dean's list recipient, Mrs. Hyoney cosplay. How would you raise your uh 2022?

SPEAKER_04 11:31

Uh um, hmm. Okay, so from the beginning of 2022, I can't really remember it. I never remember any of my years. It kind of flashes before me. Uh, let's see. Um, cosplay-wise, it was uh it was definitely a slow year because I was going back to school more consistently. Uh, so I couldn't really cosplay as much as I wanted to, but the cosplays I did do was fantastic. So I was really happy about that. These are dream cosplay concepts that I've had for about 10 years now. And um I was really happy that I could bring it to life and and that people really appreciated it. So that really made uh my year worthwhile, definitely in the summer. But the year was very stressful. Um, I had I think it's called somatic OCD, breathing OCD, for the first time ever. That was um that so what that is is basically there are things that you're not supposed to know that your body does. And I know that the doctor probably knows what I'm talking about. Um so hyper awareness, like blinking and breathing and swallowing. And I think due to the stress um of a lot of things in my life, um, and just kind of hitting all at once. I'm a person that keeps a lot of things in. Um she's um and I think that's just my personality. I don't want to be burdened, I don't want to burden other people. Uh, so I keep a lot of things in. Um, or I don't know how to really express what I need, so to speak. Um, so that has been damaging uh over the years. And I think this this year my body was like bitchy fucked up. So I was just having, it was just very strange. Um, I never had uh an anxiety attack um consecutively like I was um towards the end of the year. And I always I I cannot stand the holiday season. It always has been like very difficult for me. And this year was just very, very difficult. Like it always, it always ends off really bad. So it's just kind of a continuous it I know what the end of the year was going to be, and it's always everything. And there was no exception to it. So I would say I ended it at a 2.5. Um, there were some some high notes, you know, with school was very stress, very stressful. Um, but uh, you know, hey, we we made it, so that's that's what's up. But um I I also made a lot of headway in my career shadowing. I work at Johns Hopkins, so I I really wanted to utilize where I work uh for my school and for my my future career. So I was doing a lot of shadowing back to back. I think I have another shadowing at University of Maryland and big next week. I need to I need to make sure to get that set up. But but um it's really it's really a lot of great opportunities that I didn't think I would have um I would say the privilege to kind of get into. And anybody in the medical field knows it's very difficult to I would say get into certain spaces if you don't have experience. It's like it's a game of who do you know, which is very frustrating. Um, and so thankfully I was able to network, which I'm trash at, and that has really helped a lot. Um, networking is cringy, like you have to talk to people, but no, it was actually really fun. So it was it was a lot of fun. I got to see a lot of cool things in the hospital. Um, I was in the gross anatomy um department where I was able to see different specimens uh brought in from the operation room in real time, which was great. So you know, you're like, hey, this is a uterus. I'm like, that's a uterus! So it was really fun. Um and for those who don't know, I'm my future goal is to be into forensic pathology, uh, so forensic pathology assistant. So it was just really cool to see the um, I would say the specimens in real time, to see the dissections um and the sampling and to take it into histology. And a lot of these you you might not even get to see per se until medical school, which kind of sucks because how do I know if I want to do it until I actually see it? So seeing, you know, like you know, uh, I would say kidneys there and and then um uh a year, you know, I'm like, oh, this is cool. I like this. And you know, where other people might be like this is gross. So it was really, really fun. So I now know I have more confidence that I would I I know that I'll enjoy uh my future career. So for 2022, it was trash, but for the highlights, it was really good. For the highlights that the peaks were peaking, the lows were lowing. So 2.5 for sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:26

I think that's like the best thing I've heard. The peaks were peaking and the lows were lowing. It most certainly fucking was. Sorry, that shook me a little bit. My apologies. Uh Miss Quintel, uh sorry, Doctor, uh Carlene Quinzel. Uh, how was your 2022? How would you rate it? I can hear a little bit of it in the background.

SPEAKER_06 16:46

Um, actually, huh?

SPEAKER_01 16:49

As you can see, she's yelling at 2022. Alright.

SPEAKER_06 16:53

Um, that's always a loaded question for me. Because I'm like saying like the beginning of the year, it kind of is a blur. I like most of the time, for some reason, around the holiday time, I get really depressed. So it kind of like spills over. I don't know if it's like seasonal depression, which because I thoroughly hate the winter because I hate being cold. So it might be that, I'm not really sure. Um, but it was kind of like a blur, honestly, the beginning half of the year. If I probably had to rate it, I probably would rate it like a three, and the only reason why it would get that rating is because of all the networking and connections we made business-wise. Um, other than that, personally, I might say it was trash till September. And that was just because of more networking. Like, I'm I have my background is in hospitality management, so I'm continuously talking to people, customer service, whatever. So for me, networking is the I live and breathe it in a way. Cause I'm always talking to somebody. Like, just that's just always been my personality. So I guess the fact that I am like literally stifled most of the year, unless it has to do with the children, or if I'm hanging out with you all, like I'm stifled from adult connection, and I just have two people who are way younger than me that can't really they're not on my level, of course.

unknown 18:28

They're children.

SPEAKER_06 18:29

So to be stifled that long it is infuriating, depressing, and a whole bunch of other words. Um, so yeah, I probably would say September maybe it got a little bit better. Um, end of the year ended off popping only because of Friendsgiving.

SPEAKER_07 18:47

Because that's literally what I look forward to during the holiday time to try to drag me along that line to New York team.

SPEAKER_06 18:57

Um, but yeah, I probably would say it was a three, but not from like a personal perspective, more so like on a business perspective.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Okay. I mean, all of us have our ups and downs, all of us have, you know, different uh means and methods. You can tell from each of our individual descriptions of 2022, or in you know, our personal descriptions of 2022, which parts of it affected us the most. I think uh, as you clearly heard from myself, the negatives definitely helped uh uh affected me the most. Uh, the positives definitely affected the doctor the most. Um, Miss Skittles uh Sione cosplay definitely was like a balance, or not balances more so ups and downs, really roller coaster-like. Uh Dr. Quinzel had to pull herself out using a specific set of positives. So, you know, everybody has their own methods. So, and we all described our different means of not conquering, but more so dealing um with those different negatives and you know, accepting those different types of positives. So that's a little bit about that. So now that we're in 2023, you know, everybody has their aspirations, everybody has their wants. Um, I'm pretty sure from previous conversations with each and every one of our panelists, nobody freaking believes in resolutions. Um, so realistically, the question is, um, now that we're in 2023, what is one thing that you would like to see? And then what is one thing that not that you would like to do, but that you would like to one thing you would like to see, and then one thing you would hope to do. There it is. Because you know, everybody knows, put yourself in a resolution, that shit ain't gonna come true, you'll be mad at yourself. But if you hope to do it, you can you can strive to do it. And if it doesn't happen, uh oh well, but if it happens, ah, endorphin.

SPEAKER_06 20:55

So well, sushi, it's funny you say that because like I saw a video and somebody was saying, don't manifest what you want for the year right now, follow nature's pattern. So just hibernate, relax, and you know, get your body right, and then come springtime, manifest what you want because everything is growing.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yes. And manifest, and then it'll come true. So uh one thing uh that uh you want, and then one thing that you hope to do. Um, and the doctor's always ready, but I'm not sure if he's ready this time. Are you ready or some more time?

SPEAKER_00 21:48

You know, I can answer some of that. So you know, one of the things that I definitely want to prioritize more is my social self care. I think that's something that, you know, especially with, you know, everything with the pandemic and social isolation, like that's where it started to fall off. But as some of those challenges got worse around like family health and, you know, um like uh Dr. Quinzel mentioned about seasonal depression, like I struggle with that pretty significantly. So around winter time, like I also hate the winter for that reason. Uh so I tend to be a lot more withdrawn in the wintertime, like right now. Um, and that usually doesn't really start to improve until like March or so when it starts to do that for Leo, damn it.

SPEAKER_05 22:40

I have I'm not saying nothing. I love Gary's people, you know, shout shout your you know, shout your crew out.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

Sorry, Doctor.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Sorry, Doctor, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Like, I have no idea what it means, to be honest. But um shoot, maybe that's something I could learn more about. Who knows? But um but no, like I definitely want to, I really want to prioritize taking that time for self-care and like social engagement a lot more because it's really easy for that to fall by the wayside. You know, it's really easy to kind of get into a funk, and you know, it's first it's one day, then it's two days, and the next thing you know, it's like, oh, it's been a couple weeks, and I just haven't seen anyone really. You know, so I want to be more intentional about really making time for the people I love and people I care about and people I have fun with. Um you know, and when I think about I guess something that um I would like to see, um one thing I guess I'd like to see more. It's it's a little tricky because a lot of the things I'd like to see are things I would like to do, you know, as a um, but I would love to see more of the world. I'd love to do more international travel, um, because that's something I really have not done a lot of at all. Um, and I did a lot more travel last year, but it was all like mostly within the United States for the most part. Um but you know, I you know I plan on visiting um I want to see Kenya sometimes here. Uh I want to go to Australia sometimes this year. That's one thing I have planned in the works.

SPEAKER_07 24:19

Um about the bottom spot.

SPEAKER_01 24:24

I want to go to Australia too, but uh no.

SPEAKER_00 24:33

No. Um I really want to go to Paris, actually. Like that's something I love to see. Um, you know, and yeah, I just love to see more of the world. I think I've not really thought about how much I've kind of created my own little bubble because you know, I am really comfortable here for you in a lot of ways, but you know, I'd like to get outside that and you know see more of what's out there.

SPEAKER_01 24:55

Um we need to get you on air skittles. Yeah. Air Skittles be doing it traveling. You gotta get on air skittles what you need to do. Um no, uh I I I'll go ahead and go by you just inspired me to go next. Um, no, definitely. I um I it's funny. So I am, and I think all of you can agree, I'm a very I like to create environments where people can peek people can be together, obviously this podcast. Um, but no, just you know, social not experiments, what the hell? So social environments, social situations where you know people, whether they're you know like each other or different from each other, could just come together and you know be with one another. And one of the things that I would would love to see or hope to do this year is to create a time or create a space or create an event where it doesn't have to be a large group of people, just you know, a group of people can do something and really be able to express themselves. I don't know what that means, that's just the first thing that comes to mind, but just something that just allows them to because one of the okay, and I'll I'll explain a little bit more. One of the things that I've always said about me and being 100% authentically myself is I always feel like I can't do it when I am nearby my responsibilities. Like if I'm within 25 miles, 50 miles of my responsibilities, I I can't release. I can't just I don't say not be myself, it's more so I just can't do anything. Because there's always a thought in my mind, oh crap, you can't spend this because of that, or you can't do this because somebody might call, or you have to make sure you're back in time for. So my mind is always thinking about the next responsibility, the next um thing that I need to do. And I really, really would love to see or hope to get to the point in 2023 or later, it doesn't matter, where I can create a space not only for myself, but for people just to be able to release and do whatever they want to do for uh minute period of time, for extended period of time, however it will work. Um, but as for 2023, one thing that I you know hope to do or you know plan to do or whatever, um, is I have ideas. I always have ideas. I I honestly, huh? Now I think about it, I have three people on this panel that uh, including myself, that I have uh discussed a future venture, future goal with. Um, oh no, somebody seems like they're signed. Um a future goal with, and I have been working diligently. Granted, the last three months of 2022 kicked my ass, so I have not been working on it, but I'm back on the wagon as of this week. So I hope you're ready for your birthdays because that's when we are circling back to creating financial, and I'm I've I finally figured out like the word that I want to use for it. And it's been difficult because you know, people always coin different terms financial freedom, financial literacy. But what I want to do is create financial renewal, and the financial renewal is where you can put this amount of money in and you ain't gotta do nothing else. It automatically produces a well that puts money into your pocket and you ain't gotta worry about nothing. Because 90% of the struggles of our age range is the fact that we don't know where the next check is coming from, just in case we may lose our job. Because we're always worried about when is this happening, how is that gonna happen, where's the money going to? Is it still gonna be here? Is it still gonna be there? But if you can find a way where it's still in your pocket or coming into your pocket, even if it's a trickle, there's not there's nothing more satisfying, I think, for our age range than knowing that whether it's a bill, whether it's a responsibility, a financial responsibility, it's taken care of and we don't have to think about it. It's it's on the it's not not that's on a back burner, it's it's take it's literally taken. It's like a babysitter watching your wallet. It's there. I don't have to worry about it. Whether it's one bill, whether it's the next trip, whether it's you know, my car notes, whether it's gas, I know this particular thing I no longer have to worry about. It's like it's like having your own personal sugar daddy or sugar mom. It's like a taken care of. They got you. It's gonna be there. And that's what I want to do. I want to create that for people. And not create it in the sense that I'm building it. I want to help them figure out how to establish it from the ground up so that way it's not, hey Jacob, how do I do this? It's hey Jacob, do you mind coming in? I just want to like have another meeting to see where we can go to the next level with this. I've already done all, we've already done all the groundwork. I understand how it works. What's the next level? And that's what I want to do is get people to that like that level of financial renewal. That's the thought process. Granted, I said it on a podcast, so somebody's probably gonna try and copyright it, point it, do something like that. Go ahead and take it. I really don't care. Because if you can't do it for people, then all you got is another word, another phrase. So you go ahead and be your the new Creflo dollar. Have fun with it. But that's what I want to do this year. That that's what I want to do in 2023. So, ladies with the hair, I'm watching y'all. Um, who's next?

SPEAKER_05 30:29

So I'll go next because my kind of kind of fits with what we're talking about here. So, um, what what first of all, what is the question? I know what what do you want to see, but what was the other question?

SPEAKER_01 30:42

What would you hope to do?

SPEAKER_05 30:44

Oh, okay, so hope to do, yes. This falls under hope to do. Okay, so hope to do. Hope to do. Okay, so um, I have I have been uh for since I was 21 talking about moving out of the DMB area for whatever reason. Then my mom moved to Florida. I was like, oh yeah, I'm definitely gonna move to Atlanta. Easy. Um here we are. I'm 35. Have I left? No. So I have come to the conclusion that I probably am not going to. And that this whole time that that the reason why I haven't um like decided to like look at houses or you know, like look for something more permanent, is because in the back of my head, I'm always like, I'm moving. Um so my goal, what I hope to do this year is I want to start saving to buy a home. That is something that I feel like well one, I I feel like it's time. Uh, not because, you know, like society says you should be on a house at whatever age, but I feel like it's time for to put roots down. Um while I've been here for since what 98. I've been in the D ⁇ D since 98, but in the back of my head, it's always I'm moving, I'm leaving here, I'm you know, I can't, I can't, I can't do nothing permanent because I'm you know I can't I need to be up and out whenever I need to be up and out. Um but um but I'm ready. I feel like I'm ready. I'm I feel like I'm ready to to be in my own space, own my own space. Um and that's what I hope to do in 2023. I hope to start making sure that I'm financially where I need to be um to put things out. That's what I see, hey I need you to help me get my finances in order, okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:19

No problem.

SPEAKER_05 33:20

Start with the taxes, because the the stuff that you've been talking about, I I'm just over here mind blowing, like, how the hell is niggas out here getting thousands of dollars in their tax return? Like, who does that? Yeah, do you have kids? Because I I understand that, but a single individual getting a thousand dollars like a G is like and that's just at the bottom of look. I'm like, what can I get 500 though? Like, like what is we talking about here? So we can start with the taxes, um, and I'm gonna put that in our little savings, and then we can talk about what you was talking about so I can build my little money but and um yeah, uh so that's that is what I hope to do this year in 2023. What I would like to see. Oh what I would like to see. So that one's kind of weird for me. What I would like to see in 2023 is like I feel like it's go it's always gonna be traveling. Like, as far as I'm concerned, I want I wanna see, I wanna be a well-traveled individual, like point blank period. Um I like conventions give me the opportunity to like go wherever and you know my uh UAL allows me to travel to different places as well, but um on a personal level, like my bucket list of places to to see is is extremely long. I know I probably may not get to see all these places. Um yeah, the yes, the hope is the what I would like to see myself do is travel to more uh places that I've never been. I'm actually starting starting off in January, um, because next weekend uh I will be going to Colorado. Granted, this is for a friend's birthday thing, but uh if you had to ask me like two years ago, oh would you go skiing in Colorado? Hell no, but what? Like the buttons? I I don't like snow, I don't like nothing comfortable. Why would I ever? That's some place I don't need to ever see. But but in terms of traveling, I wouldn't mind checking off Colorado for a state that I've been to, and I and I've heard it's beautiful. I've I've seen pictures of you know mountains and snow and things, and I'm like, oh, that's gorgeous. I I would never be there, but you know what? Fuck it, I'ma go be there. I'ma go be there and experience some shit and and say that I I did that. Um and that and that's what I would like to continue to see myself doing, um, not just in 2023, but you know, as I get older, period. Um so yeah, um, traveling is always gonna be at the top of my list of took these things. So, yeah, I'm trying to go, please. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

See, see, Doctor, there you go. This travel agent right there. You know, let her know that it coincides. Y'all don't have to be on the same in the same place. Like, y'all just hop on the same flight, get there, y'all do what y'all want to do, come back on the same day, bow, done. Easy. You know, I'm down.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

Easy.

SPEAKER_01 36:56

Um, okay, so Dr. Quinzel, Sayone, do you already have it in mind? Who wants to go first? What you want to see? What do you hope to do? Oh, all right, Sayone.

SPEAKER_04 37:09

What I would like to see for 2023. I would like to see myself being more kind to myself. That is a huge, huge lifelong struggle. That's a struggle. So I'm trying to find ways to be kinder to myself. And it's it might still be a lifelong struggle, but that's something I really struggle with. That I'm my worst enemy. So if I can just try to find like methods to navigate that, and that kind of plays in with everything, how I think, how I act, you know, what I do. There's certain certain I would say things that were ingrained in my DNA from my childhood and then to my adulthood has really shaped who I am. And a lot of people don't know because I I I've I'm pretty private about myself, um, but definitely trying to be kinder to myself, and that encompasses a lot of just actions on my end and how I um I would say try to resolve issues. So that's something that I would like to see myself do in 2023. It's not anything brand grandiose, it's more so about just about self. And I neglect myself very often. Um, so that's what I like to see. What I want to do, what I want to do, I would like to find ways to be more financially responsible.

SPEAKER_01 38:42

You don't say.

SPEAKER_04 38:59

You know, and of course it's funny and hilarious, but Tauruses love food, which I love. But food has definitely been an emotional touch for me, good and dad. Um, I'd be like, I ain't got much money in that in that bank account, but I'm gonna get some food to feel good. And Dad's, I can't do that. I cannot do that. Um, so um, but not just that, just kind of trying to find better ways to work with my money. Um, that way that I can get to my goal. And that that is something that I've been thinking about. Um, especially when you kind of notice certain trends about yourself, notice patterns. I'm like, mm, these patterns obviously are not making me progress further in life like I want to. So it's really just like 2022 was really kind of calling myself out. So you can still be kind to yourself and then call yourself out as well. So I've just been doing a lot of reflecting on what I need to do to not stay stagnant. So um, I've been, I've already started um cutting back things that that were trends for years just to kind of get me on the path of breaking the the I would say pattern. Like I'm a person, I am a person of I would say, um not schedule, but a creature of habit. So good or bad, if I have a very good habit, I will just do it because it's something that's it's automatic, it's scheduled. I've trained myself. If I've trained myself to do something bad, it's very hard to break. So that good and bad, those are things I want to kind of want to focus more on the good trends and then try to lessen and then eventually eliminate the bad um patterns that I do. And with that alone, I think that I will be I would be more at peace with myself. Like I don't really drive for happiness because happiness and sadness, those are fleeting emotions. They're not meant to be forever. But peace, that is something that we can all try to obtain, whether we are happy or sad. Peace of mind is everything for me.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

That is cammy beer.

SPEAKER_04 41:16

That's my lifelong goal. That really is my lifelong goal, just to have a peace of mind. So I think that's that's it. Nothing, nothing crazy.

SPEAKER_01 41:25

Nothing crazy. It's just so simple, so simple. Uh, Dr. Quinzel, what do you hope to do and what do you want to see? Um, she put up the mocking onto the camera. My bad.

SPEAKER_05 41:42

It just popped up on my feed, and I was like soon as I opened the app, hello.

SPEAKER_06 41:53

Uh, that's always a no, you're fine. That's always a hard one for me because you know, my schedule kind of revolves around three other people. Um, and vice versa with the other adult in this house. Um, so things that I know I'm going to do, I guess let me say that, is work more so on my drawing. So I have one of the artists that we met last year at one of the conventions has agreed to be my mentor. So her and I are going to start honing in on that craft. So she's kind of more so exploring my artistic side that I probably silenced years ago. So that's that that's gonna be my big thing. Um, things that I would like to see.

SPEAKER_01 42:44

You got all that down.

SPEAKER_06 42:47

Listen, because like like so she knows me, my mind literally will probably be more so on the business side than personal, because uh, you know, personal life for me kind of just just dead. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

So that's the purpose of this question. Go ahead, go ahead, Ms. Kittle.

SPEAKER_05 43:02

I'm about to say, what you would like to see, you need to settle into a personal life, you need to get into a personal life, like start doing some things for you, start doing, like start setting some personal time aside to do things that you wanna do. Like, like, do you like what do you want to do?

SPEAKER_06 43:27

That's a good question. Cause like I just like I think I've had that conversation with one of my my my friend. Y'all met my best friend Morgan. So her and I had that conversation all the time. It's just like our lives are so wrapped around children. It's like the people that we were in college where we were like, you know, hey girl, let's go partner. You wanna go do that? We got no responsibility, this is the different, you know, to okay, we got all this responsibility. I don't even know who I'm looking at in the mirror anymore. So I need to find out what it is that I need to do or that I need. Like or that I want to do. Like it's just like a whole, you know how they say your college years are the years that you find yourself. Well, parenthood is the same thing because now you gotta find yourself all over again. So I would say that would be the biggest struggle for me. But yeah, so that's why I was like in between. That's why I was like, it's easy for me to rattle off business stuff because I can easily sit here and be like, I need to make money. I want no, I would be like, I wish Suchi and I'd have doubled our profits from last year. That'd be great. Um, so yeah, so business is always easier for me to rattle off. Um personally, I probably just need to sit down and figure out some things, I would say. What I would like to see.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

So what you hope to do is find your person to find yourself, and what you want to see is time that you could spend on you personally.

SPEAKER_06 44:58

Sure, yeah, we can put it that way.

SPEAKER_07 45:05

Oh, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

That's not very possible. Again, uh uh uh uh travel agent Skittles is is always available to take people on trips.

SPEAKER_06 45:14

Like I'd be wanting to go. I'd be telling Tiffany to stick me on her suitcase all the time. I am literally only five feet tall. I'm pretty sure I could. Um but yeah, like I would love to travel more. Like trying to get a vacation, like I think last year when we were supposed to go to on a vacation, just Mark and I, because Mark and I have not been on a solo vacation in like 11 years. Like, period. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been that long. My last vacation was 2012 in Miami, and Miami was not that popular for me. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 45:48

She's just cyana wall of gray.

SPEAKER_06 45:50

It's just like we almost went back this year, and I was like, I don't, I don't wanna. No, so yeah. Um, it's a long laundry list of things. They're just kind of took a crossbow.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Okay. Well, I mean, again, it that's that was the purpose of the question. It isn't to say hardcore, this is what you're gonna do because you don't want to let yourself down. It's to you, what would you like to do? What would you like to see? And like Miss Skittles was telling you, you know, you just have to put yourself into a situation where you find that person, you find that, you know, I don't even know what word to use. Find yourself, I guess is the best way to say it. And figure out, like you were saying, how do you set apart that time? How do you set apart that space to find yourself? And like I was saying, the only way I can do it is if I'm away from my responsibilities for a period of time. That's how I can do it. Because, you know, I took a couple of trips, and they were just we like I remember people telling me for years they take weekend trips. I'm like, what the hell are you going for a weekend for? What the a weekend? Why that's no trip. And then I took one, and then I took one.

SPEAKER_03 46:57

I was like, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 46:59

This is okay. This this makes sense. This makes sense. And if the doctor hadn't taken me on that first weekend trip, I'd still be like, how the fuck? Why? Why are why are we taking like Miss Kittle's be taking weekend trips all the time? I'm like, girl, where you going? What what you doing?

SPEAKER_04 47:14

I'd be thinking the same thing. I'm like, what where where is she going?

SPEAKER_07 47:20

Yeah, yeah. I'd be like, damn, Tiffany's on again. I wanna go. And then and then and then the picture, yeah, you over here south. Like, damn, that vacation looks good. Like, you look at that like, oh god, I wanna go.

SPEAKER_01 47:35

I still haven't gotten over that beach video. It it's still not there. Like, how dare you take seven steps from your bed and you on the beach? Disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 47:45

I'm just wearing like my bunny slippers and my bonnet, and I'm just you know, eating my cookie, and and and here we go, Miss Skittles twerking and enjoying. Oh my god, let's not even talk about carnival.

SPEAKER_01 47:56

Let's not talk about carnival.

SPEAKER_06 48:03

I was so in so in 2023 the Blur Spectrum podcast is following Miss Skittles Marvel. Well, that that's a us that's a to-do.

SPEAKER_01 48:12

That's a that's a to-do.

SPEAKER_04 48:14

I just want to be a fly on the wall because I don't want Miss Skittles to act any differently with us there. I just want I just want her, you know, kind of kind of gyrating out to be a fly.

SPEAKER_01 48:24

No, no phones, keep your phones away, no cameras, let her live her life. We're just gonna be spectators. That's it.

SPEAKER_04 48:30

Yeah, I just want to watch. That's it. That's all I want to do. I just want to see. That's all. That's all I want.

SPEAKER_01 48:37

Her best life.

SPEAKER_04 48:38

What?

SPEAKER_01 48:38

Okay, sorry. Okay, the sidetrack. But yes, that it can't happen. Um, so we just gotta figure out how to do it. But we'll figure out how to do it. But let's, you know.

SPEAKER_06 48:46

Doubling profits.

SPEAKER_01 48:47

Oh, he was his profit. Um, sure. Let's double.

SPEAKER_06 48:51

You need you you need money to go to these places. That's we all talk about financial literacy, pretty much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:57

You don't always need money, but I do agree you'll need money, anywho. All right, so um, we talked about what we want to do, talk about what we want to see or hope to do what we want to see, uh, how our 2022 was. Um, so the next thing, and it's probably the most simplest part of this, is you know, now that we are at this point where we can kind of see something, like we have an idea of how what can potentially happen, how do we go about doing it? You know, how do we go about creating the steps to like moving towards the next location in what we want to do? If is it simply planning it? Is it you know pooling money? Is it Kickstarter? Like, well, how do we go about moving towards the next step? Now, if the next step is just as simple as saying, hey, doctor, I need you to put 2500 down, don't touch it, leave it there. And now I'm gonna take that. I'm joking. That was a candidate that didn't make any sense whatsoever.

SPEAKER_00 49:55

I was like, where's this going? Exactly. I need clarification.

SPEAKER_06 50:02

Why so much? What you doing? Where is 2500?

SPEAKER_04 50:06

Like, you didn't even start up with a loan number, like 500. 2500 is a lot of money to just have sitting there as chunk change. I'm like, what the hell?

SPEAKER_06 50:18

You know, people's savings accounts, we came checking accounts. What you doing?

SPEAKER_01 50:22

No basis, complete tangent. It did mean nothing. Disregard. All right, so now back to the actual topic at hand. Um, we are the Blurred Spectrum Podcast, and we do like talking about all things blurred. We talked about uh our personal lives, we talked about our mental lives, we talked about our ups and our downs. Um what is a topic that, you know, because we've covered a lot of things, you know, the obvious, the animes, the gaming, the TV, the movies, like I said, mental cosplay conventions. Uh, what is something on our podcast that we have not touched? That was weird. That we have not talked about uh yet that you want to talk about um uh and that you want to talk about with the group that you want to present or not present, bring to our audience. Um, I know some of you have uh topic. Matter of fact, I for a fact Dr. Quinzel has a topic. So do I should we start with Dr. Quinzel? You want to just go first?

SPEAKER_06 51:19

Sure. I actually have two.

SPEAKER_01 51:21

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_06 51:22

Um one kind of came yesterday when I was talking, when I took Maddie to her little photo sheet. Adult bullying. That's a good one. Um, I didn't know that that was a thing. Like, because in my mind, I'm like, yo, how old are you? But apparently that needs to be talked about. Like, why why are we doing that? That should die. That should have died in like 2020, let's say, because when we were all separated, why are we now adult bullying? Um, that's one topic. And then the other topic I actually told Susie about. Um, over here in America, I'm not quite sure about other cultures, so I'm just gonna say over here, um, we celebrate a young woman or oh well, a little girl or a little boy coming to puberty. But when in that talk, so why don't we tell them what happens after? And I'm not just talking about, oh, you know, you don't get your period, this will change, this will happen, or your voice will drop, but talk about the disrespect that a black woman gets as she's growing up, or how this little boy that once looked so precious now looks like a threat. Like, I feel like all of those things need to be encompassed in one package versus not telling them at all. And that's with uh what's happening to your body and the stuff that you may or may not potentially grow up learning just because of what you look like.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

Comments 100% agree. Like, I think that's so important, and you know, especially when we think about like you mentioned the sexualization of black women and you know, the essentially like the um marginalization and fear, like when it comes to black men as well, seeing like like the perception as a thug or whatnot, and basically preparing it's so much more challenging to prepare black kids to enter the world, you know, growing into adults because there's so much more bullshit that we have to deal with, you know. It's uh you know, and there's this weird almost push and pull of being both desired and feared that we never really talk about.

SPEAKER_06 53:42

Yes, yes. I totally agree that with the whole fact of being desired and feared, so many people that don't look like us trying to imitate everything that we do, but yet you're also quick to arrest us or shoot us or sex traffic us, whatever.

SPEAKER_01 53:59

And one since our conversation, because we like like uh Dr. Quinzel uh stated, we had talked about this before. I'd also thought about the not the inverse, but I've thought about the people who all who do think about those things, who you know, the reason why a lot of us, our mentality in certain environments and our mentality in certain arenas, we are quick to code switch, we're quick to look at our environments, we're quick to, you know, um talk like I mean that's a part of code switching, but I more so mean we're we're we're we're quick to I'm guilty of it. It's a good example. I'm guilty of it. I'll I'll be out with friends. And if I see a an environment switch, where we're walking down the street or we enter a restaurant or an establishment, I'm quick to tell my group, hey, words, language, uh um, you know, look at your environment. Hey, pay attention. And that a part of it being something taught, it's also something, you know, learned by environment. Like literally based off of the things I've seen and the fears that I've developed based off of the people around me, I'm forced to do those types of things because I want to protect people that I'm with. I don't want us to get into another, like another Negro moment. I don't want, I don't want that to happen. Let the Negro moment just be us enjoying ourselves. It doesn't have to be a situation where a chair gets thrown and we're at a Waffle House. Like it doesn't have to be that. Um, so you know, the not the not the inverse, but just the the parents who, you know, teach their kids, you know, the don't be a a Trayvon Martin and you know, let me just, you know, don't go outside, don't wear a hoodie. For years, my father told me not to wear black. Like, and if you and I don't even know if I like subconsciously uh rebelled against it, because my closet's full of black. But like he would tell me, wear lighter clothes, wear you know, just brighter colors. And I'm like, I don't feel comfortable doing that. So I just I'm even wearing a black hoodie right now. Um, it's just why like they created it, why can they wear it and I can't wear it? Why do I have to, you know, switch myself up? So um again, when teaching, you know, well, again, that was the topic you want to talk about. I got a lot to you. You gave me too much time to think about it, like I said, thoughts. Um does anybody else have a topic they would want to uh uh think about? Um the Sayonic Cospla.

SPEAKER_04 56:28

Oh, because I have one to say before it gets out of my head, I don't have to.

SPEAKER_01 56:31

No, no, go ahead.

SPEAKER_04 56:33

Uh the first one is oh Lord, one of them got on my head. All right. Um the first one would be a thin line between appreciation and appropriation.

SPEAKER_06 56:49

Um yes, you had everything in a thin line between love and hate when you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 56:53

I did, literally, that was in my mind.

SPEAKER_04 56:55

Uh yes, and the other one would be a traveling guide as a black person. I feel like we need a collectively have a traveling guide. Like because we would love to travel, but there are places that it's not it is not safe for us to travel.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

You are correct. Yep.

SPEAKER_04 57:17

And also how to go about it, what are the things that we should look for? Kind of like um in the 1950s, I believe, 1950s and 60s, 50s and 60s, I don't remember, there was a a guide book on uh letting black people know like wear the sun downtown or that's exactly what I was thinking. Yeah, so we collectively as black people, we don't travel much, but I see that our generation is starting to break that, break out of that, and we're see more of more of us traveling, but we also need to be aware of our surroundings, what are things to look out for, how do we prepare so that we don't end up in a a certain space and that's dangerous for us. And it might not even be because we're black, it could be because we're American, and that that alone is an issue. That is um I would I would love to like just kind of have like talk about what are traveling tips being black and traveling around the world, traveling in America. And the third one before I I I get out of my my before I lose it, um why is it still weird to be a nerd and be black in our own community? I feel like it has to be in our own community, even though it has progressed. The reason why I remember um when I dressed up in cosplay for my college at Bowie State, uh, and we had um some type of like interview, and I was so excited because I'm like, oh wow, you know, this is a great time to be black, you know, black people watching anime, and I'm like, oh man, I can't wait to go to HBCU and show up in Cosplay. Like people looked at me like I had a fucking horn on my on my forehead.

SPEAKER_01 58:58

It was so did you have a horn on your forehead?

SPEAKER_04 59:00

I did not. Okay. I was actually very tame. Okay. No body pain or anything.

SPEAKER_03 59:10

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_04 59:12

I know. I look I just I just I know I had a little bit of makeup on, you know, a little bit of but nothing, nothing crazy. And I felt so isolated. And it brought me back to middle school where I thought just being different was weird. Uh so I thought I thought we were beyond that, but I guess we're not. And I it was very interesting because this is the newer generation, it's not our generation, exactly. Yeah, so I would love to. That was very interesting, very strange uh interaction. But then when I went to Baltimore City, it was completely different. It was normalized, it was it was great. Like people, I heard people like, yes, queen. It was it was hilarious. So it was a very different interaction, but we were still black people, and I just thought that being amongst your peers would be more normalized, but it's not. So I would love to kind of just talk about uh uh talk about that. You know, you you even see it in the uh cosplay community um that only certain cosplays are acceptable as cool, but anything outside of that is strange. So I would love to just kind of touch based on those three. That's it before I forget.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:19

You know what's funny that you say that? Like I I saw it was on TikTok, and this lady was reading, I guess it's this HBCU like um group or whatever, and someone said, Can in 2023 we throw away the dudes just watching anime? I saw that. Why okay, okay. Well, and they're sitting up there with their Goku posters and or whatever they're saying. And I'm like, wait, what?

unknown 1:00:44

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

We just got here. I mean, we've been here, but we just it just it became acceptable, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:50

So she's pretty much saying throw away the nerds. Like, wait, why are we doing that? Or you could just evolve and run to sit down to watch it and just interested. But yeah, that'd be a good topic.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:02

No, no, I I agree. All of all the cross-board. Like I was about to start talking about that. I was like, wait, that's a topic for later. But no, I I I definitely agree. And I think I want to make sure, and I want to say it now so when we listen to it back, we remember a key point of that is the fact that you were on a college campus. So we're talking, you know, all of us are, you know, floating around the 30s, and you're talking about being around 18 to 25 year olds. So something that we thought, especially now that we're at this age and social media is the way that it is, and the pandemic did what it did, where everybody was at home and started watching anime and now they think they're anime and aficionados. Um, because we're in that environment now, there's a thought process that, oh, times are changing and things are evolving. But for you to get a firsthand experience at a at a college, sorry, and see that. Because I remember when I was at college, I was watching anime, but it wasn't something I was waving a banner and saying, hey, that's what I'm doing. Uh everybody in the engineering building was fine with it, but you take one step out, you better be a thug. You gotta you gotta be a thug is how it works. You just can't do it. Um, so that I I would definitely love that conversation. I think that's something, and I'll yeah, we'll talk about it. We'll talk about it more. Uh uh Miss Skittles, the doctor. Go ahead. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:26

No, I said I could see your face. You wanted to go in. I'm you had to hold yourself back.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:30

Pull it back. I had to pull it back. Uh the doctor, Miss Skittles, if one of you, are you ready? That doctor?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:35

Yeah, sure. So yeah, it's interesting because I probably have one topic I'd like to explore more, and it's something that you know both Sinai and Dr. Quinzel have really kind of hit on as well, some of the topics they mentioned, and it's around stigma. Um so stigma more generally, in how, you know, especially as black, you know, black nerds, we navigate a lot of spaces, and that can include stigma around like race and whatnot, and we talk about being seen as like, you know, a thug or like you know, or um a sexual object, um stigma for liking anime, and that's you know, a part of that as well, and just you know, stigma on a lot of different characteristics because now I feel like it's something that even though you know we as black people we're now getting more open about talking about like mental health and whatnot, which is fine and wonderful and great and a real great step in a very positive direction. Like, there's still so many parts of that that we don't really explore a lot of that we dismiss. And I think stigma is one of those things where it's like, oh, well, you just have to like laugh things off, or you know, oh, just let it roll on your back, like don't let it bother you, but that's not really how any of it works. You know, it's not that simple. And when you're we're in spaces where you're constantly stigmatized over and over and over again, of course it marginalizes you and it makes it harder to engage with other communities or your own community, you know. And one of the things I think about, you know, or just made me think about is how often I'll be in spaces, um, and definitely certainly in predominantly white spaces, but even in some, you know, in a lot of black spaces where I will listen for cues or, you know, things that suggest that a topic is coming up where I'm likely to be stigmatized.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:25

And so I preemptively either try and direct away from that or I back away or I go silent. And that's a very common response, you know. And it's something that, you know, it's it's not talked about openly because, oh, you know, you'll be seen as quote unquote weak, just like people talk about depression or anxiety or you know, any of those things openly a lot of the time in certain space spaces because you might be seen as weak or you know, or you know, you're not strong enough, or like, oh, that's a white person staying. Like, we don't deal with that here, you know. And you know, I think it's something that's definitely worth talking about and exploring more, and you know, our experiences with navigating it and where it arises, especially in the context of being a black nerd.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:12

Jesus. Yes, 100%. Uh I Icause I start talking about it. Uh Miss Kills.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:26

So mine, so mine is not something that we haven't talked about. Um as many of y'all know. If y'all, well, I'm I think all of y'all followed me, but um especially on my my normie Instagram page.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:43

Yes, normie.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:45

Um I I talk about mental health a lot and and in in a sense that I just want people to be aware that it it's okay not to be okay. Like it's it's it's it's okay and it's something that I've struggled with my whole entire life, like like the whole back and forth with something happening to me and immediately going to what's wrong with me? Why can't I do this better? Or looking at other people's lives and being like, well, they you know, they they handled this a certain way, you know, they handled their grief and and and just moved on, and you know, why can't I? So um, so for me, I guess um mental health is uh is always gonna be like a deep dive into mental health. And say uh Sayone said something that um resonated with me as far as mental health and like self-care goes. I feel like a lot a lot of times, I know me personally, I struggle with the idea of purpose. Like, what is my reason for being here? What is the reason of existence? Um, what is the reason for my and and I think like like she said, you know, we're we we happiness and sadness is is temporary emotion. So what what does being content look like? What does being at peace look like? What does what does self-care look like in your you know your life? Um and the aspect of keeping yourself sane and not constantly looking looking for happiness, looking for emotions, um, instead of having experiences that create these emotions. Uh so yeah, for me, for me, it's like I guess mostly just having those conversations. What does what does being at peace mean for you so that you can go day to day, you know? I mean, of course there's gonna be ups and downs, but you know, so that you're not constantly searching for the reason why you wake up and the reason why you breathe. Like, um, and and like I said, this is something that I I struggle with often. Um, and and I feel like, well, I know based off of therapy that a lot of times it's the cause of unnecessary anxiety in my life. Because I constantly say, Oh, I could be doing something, I need to be doing something, I need to be better, I need to be successful, I need, you know, I need happiness, I need I need purpose. At the end of the day, if I die, if I die tomorrow, is am I gonna be okay? Like, is are the are the people around me gonna say, oh, she she didn't do shit with her life? Or are they gonna say, you know what, Tiffany, touch me and be not that way. But Tiffany, you know, having known Tiffany, these are the things that I saw her doing, and it she meant something to me in that way, versus, you know, because a lot of times people don't they don't always see your successes the way you see somebody.

SPEAKER_03 1:09:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:23

They don't see, you know, your whole I'm fighting for a purpose type thing. You you go through life by in moments, um, in experiences, and and communication and and relationships with that you have with people. And you know, some people, if if I died tomorrow, you know, I I wouldn't have nothing, I wouldn't have done nothing, you know. So I just want people to know that there are other ways in in your life that instead of looking for emotion, you create emotions and experiences. That's that's what leads to uh being content, being at peace, being happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:15

Um yeah, yeah, that part phenomenal. Um man, she took me on a roller coaster at the end of that, and I lost. I think both of mine. Um crap. Um okay, so I had I had I had a very uh risque one, and I was like, maybe I shouldn't say it because we've all been talking about like mental health and like wellness and stigmas. I was like, yeah, hard left if I do that.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:46

Um I I had one too that was risque, but I was like, maybe I shouldn't say it. I don't know if we can I don't even know if we could talk about that.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:56

Spill it!

SPEAKER_01 1:10:59

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:01

So I was gonna talk about like so I was gonna talk about like sexual like freedom, like, like for so well, I don't wanna put all my business out there, but like, you know, like sexual relationships and things like that. So, you know, you don't have to, I feel like, um a roll call is what you're saying.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:26

What what a roll call, like having having a list, like a go-to list, a D list.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:32

Oh, girl, I got but like not not necessarily a list. I just I feel like a lot of times, and I I won't I don't even want to say in our community, but in society as in general, like sex is like this taboo thing, and you're supposed to have it with one person, and it you know, there there's a whole lot of rules and boxes people uh people like to put sex in, and I feel like we can talk more about like being sexually intelligent, being sexually free. Um I want to talk about like like different types of relationship, like polyamory, uh swinging, uh yes, uh all all of that. Look at me, all of all of those sexual things that you know people that like being black and poly, like we don't talk about, I want to talk about stuff like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:39

Um, you want to talk about the dog side of the spectrum?

SPEAKER_05 1:12:43

Yes, yes the the bottom side of the spectrum.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:51

Now you got my attention. About bottoms, yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:12:57

I believe that being the number one podcast episode of 2023.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:02

I think so as well.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:06

Talk about I want to talk more about those things because uh, you know, sometimes when when I know shit, older generations, they don't want to talk about that shit at all.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:15

They don't, uh not without some chastising and judgment.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:20

Exactly. But even even our generation kind of like tiptoes around it.

SPEAKER_01 1:13:26

It's it's because of the chastising and the judgment.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:30

Yeah, and we do it on social media as well. So, I mean, you know, that's why we see it. So it's not like it's it's hush hush for no reason, right? But then we open up, you know, that's till this day only a select few people know what I do. So I you know it would be very nice to talk about it. Um I'm 100% with you, uh uh skills, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:56

Yeah, like I love this topic. I think it's a great idea, and like, and it's so interesting because, you know, we think of these, you know, say open relationships, polyamory, sexual freedom, you know, uh, even more generally, it's treated as so unusual and rare, but it's like so common. Oh common and it's a part of you know the human experience. Like, oh god, I remember, oh god, this very brief story, but like recently I was at a gathering with maybe like eight or ten other, you know, black gay men at this table. You know, we're all chit-chatting, and people are bringing up like I think open relationships came up, and I mentioned that, oh, you know, I've been no like open relationships is fine or whatnot. And people looked at me like I had two heads. Like they were just like, really? Like, I don't, you know, I I don't understand this, I've never heard of this, you know, and whatnot. Is this weird? Like, you know, and it's it seemed like such a foreign concept, then I'm and I'm just thinking, you can't, I mean, we're black gay men, like we're already in like a marginalized group as far as how you know who we have sex with. Like, you can't really be like this stigmatized into another type of relationship in your community. And I was like, if y'all have never really heard of this, like we say, well, no, I don't, I just don't understand it. Like, well, wow, this is this is a little bizarre to me, but you know it is, but there's so much judgment, and like there's so much, we're just taught to see sex as something that's so unnatural and bizarre, even though sex is the most natural thing there is, you know.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:33

Niggas have sex every day, B.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:36

Yes, like exactly every hour, every minute. Exactly. Like, so yeah, I would love to see this topic, like, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:42

Oh Lord, yes, Miss Iana.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:46

Well, a topic that we've definitely been tiptoeing around.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:53

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:55

I want to talk about kink and aftercare. I want to talk about that so much. Um I will I will I will definitely skip over the you know the details of experience. But but I I really would love to talk about the kink community, um, kinks, fetishes, and aftercare. Aftercare, because people don't know what the fuck aftercare is. So um and and just have sexual responsibility, um, intimacy. And you can't re I want to explain this. You cannot get into the kink community if you haven't even mastered the intimacy of vanilla sex. Like you don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:16:39

Vanilla sex, uh and she means vanilla, not French vanilla, she means vanilla.

SPEAKER_04 1:16:44

Vanilla, no vanilla, no French vanilla bean. Like, if you can't freaking but you know, if you're still on the froyo, and you can't if you cannot master that, you cannot cross over to kink, and I think that's something that is a huge topic, especially in the black community, um, you know, that we need to touch base on. It's it shouldn't be taboo to talk about it, but I think because sexual literacy and then sexual responsibility is something that isn't discussed at all till this day, we need to have that conversation um for the young adult, for the uh old adult, especially.

SPEAKER_06 1:17:29

Oh my god, yo, please for for our generation, like I can't tell you last year. I was my friend was telling me about her friend who ended up catching an STD and trying to say she got it from the toilet. Yeah, yeah. This particular SCD and then when she called the guy, the guy was like, Oh, but are we still gonna fuck though? But it didn't register in her brain. He already had it and he gave it to you if you weren't shocked.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:58

And I was sitting there like you know, we you know we live on the podcast, right?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:03

I mean, I I didn't drop no names. I just said like like that. You triggered so much. First red flag.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:13

Oh, you still want to have sex?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 1:18:16

Like you trigger so much, like oh my god. Like, I'm like y'all wildin' out here, like I'm all for sexual freedom, but could you be could you be safe? Like, you out here playing gambling with your coochie, like why who why?

SPEAKER_07 1:18:33

Why why are we doing this? I get I I keep hearing the data you think is rough, but you gonna make it rougher.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:42

Oh my god, you can't get it with the coochie.

SPEAKER_07 1:18:45

Oh what? Oh my god. Oh god, Jesus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:18:52

So I I I'll just say um the reason uh behind us not doing any of these topics before has been, I'll just say it's my fault. Um, and and it's it goes back to what um all of you have been saying, which is about the the not inability, but the fear and the reservation that the black community has about such topics. And, you know, a part of what I was saying uh earlier in the in the episode is about wanting the our podcast move to the next level and wanting to talk about topics that not that people are comfortable about comfortable with, but about topics that people need to hear. And I agree, this is a very necessary topic because as all of us have experienced as well as heard, and some of us may even have seen, people are not as experienced with the sexual uh uh uh sexual domain as they claim and state that they are. And not that we're about to put on a live show, but having conversations about it and getting people getting allowing people to hear different perspectives on you know safety, on enjoyment, on just sexual literacy all across the board. Like what I was gonna say, like I said, I thought mine was a little bit more risque. What I was gonna, that wasn't me. That was not my sound, because that's actually very funny.

SPEAKER_06 1:20:16

But oh, sorry, that that was Mark's phone. That was Shane Maybe's following that one off.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:21

I was like, that was like on cue. What I was gonna say was about um uh uh uh shoot, now I forgot it. Oh, there it is. Uh sex pluration and sex persona. And it's something that again, people don't people do and don't know that they are doing it because it's you know it's the means of being uh engaging in sexual intercourse and engaging in a sexual experience and becoming or sliding into a completely different persona to engage in the sexual act. Some people may say it's just foreplay, but real if you if it's it's it's this it's I'm not gonna say it's the same because I'm not a furry, but the same way that people who you know are furries or the same people who engage in pet play, pup play, and they they they I don't use the word morph, but they well, I guess almost like an animorph into the animal of their choice of what um the same way certain people change it to a different persona. Um, and you know, that's how some people say I you know, I wasn't we had a time last night, didn't we? We had a time last night. It's a it uh but was it we or was it somebody else? Was there a different persona part of it? Was there a different mindset there? Was was it was it not was it not Tiffany, was it Miss Skittles? Was it not Sine? Was it Sayone? Was it Dominique or was it Dr. Quinzel? Or were you being operated on by the doctor?

SPEAKER_06 1:21:50

It it it goes into So I I feel like Sushi no Shogun is gonna write a Zang book in future about different personas that you just called out here.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:08

I'm just saying that that is what my topic was supposed to was I was announcing for for sometime in 2023. So I I think you know the dark side of the spectrum is definitely something we need to engage in and we definitely need to um we need to do, and we have to make sure we spread it out. Can't this is gonna get real obscene. Um we have to make sure we we um I can't use any words.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:33

You can say like you you think you use you spread, you use slide in.

SPEAKER_07 1:22:39

Like, what is going on with you today?

SPEAKER_06 1:22:44

Sound like sound like sushi means a weekend.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:48

Time for another weekend trip. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:22:51

Anywho, uh, we just need to figure out the best way to map out the schedule for the discussions regarding these topics. There it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:04

February sounds like a good time for all these discussions.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:06

We tried that last February.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:08

Or, or no, okay, okay, so right before cuffing season ends. So right before spring. When everybody was cut loose, yes, when everybody was cut loose.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:17

I feel like all this sexual knowledge and these days is growing on the stories I've heard in 2022 disgusted me. So, yes, all of that.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:29

Yes, yes. I told you, coochie gambles.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:33

Coochie gambles, a slice of the coochie. Exactly, exactly. Like y'all, y'all out here more than Yumi color. Let's Yumi coloring the booty getting high.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:47

Can't fumble the booty. Um, yes, but yo, so these are all episodes, uh, content topics that we will definitely uh uh traverse this year. Uh amongst many others, uh, we're really excited to bring you each and every one of these topics uh and conversations. And you know, this year, 2023, we want to make sure that our listeners are engaged as well. We want to make sure you're a part of our conversations. Uh, so we're we're gonna do things not necessarily different, but we're gonna change up how we decide to do the things that we're doing, which is how are we gonna bring this information to you and how are we gonna get your information, your your take on these topics and integrate it into our conversations. And we'll be doing more and more of that through our different platforms, of course, on IG, on Facebook, um, uh I guess Twitter. Uh, maybe, you know. I mean, actually, everything sexual is going down on Twitter, so maybe we need to move to Twitter.

SPEAKER_06 1:24:41

Um You'd be better off getting the OnlyFans.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:47

OnlyFans are turning tame. Everything is on Twitter, baby. I'm telling you. I wake up my mornings on Twitter, but that's another conversation for another time. So um, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:59

Hey.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:01

So uh, other than that, we're definitely going to uh also work on uh um new. Oh lord. We're gonna definitely work on creating, you know, new uh videos, creating new events. Uh we're working with a lot of our partnered organizations. Uh hopefully we can do stuff with Miss Kittles and you know all of her different uh connected networks as well as mine. Um and then, you know, as well as the doctor. Each of us have, you know, different networks and groups that we can definitely bring the uh Blurred Spectrum Podcast to those events and to those arenas. So we would definitely like to meet you all live, uh masked, but live, uh, and communicate with you and you know, share um our experiences with and integrate your experiences as well. So, like we said last year, this year, more live episodes, more meeting our listeners, meeting our fans, and gaining new fans and new integrations. So, um, hmm, I guess this is normally the part of the podcast episode where I allow all of our panelists to explain how they can be reached, how they can be found, and how you want to talk to them. So I will start with Ms. Gibbs.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:10

Ms. Skittles uh TR underscore cosplay on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:20

I was about to say you gonna be on TikTok now?

SPEAKER_05 1:26:22

I was about to say there's a third one, but I you know, but yes, um, all three of those. And then on Twitter it's Miss Skittles2K02. What is it 87? We'll get back to it. One of them.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:39

We are going to bring to you a a collaboration with Miss Skittles on TikTok. We promise you, Miss Skittles will do more stuff on TikTok. It ain't gonna be every day, it ain't gonna be every month, it might be once this year, but we will do something with Miss Skittles on TikTok, I promise you. Uh, Dr. Quinzel.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:59

Oh shit, I wasn't ready. Okay, um, you can find me at Blur Creations on Instagram and then at Blur Creations store on Facebook. Um, hopefully I'll see some of y'all at the conventions this year because we will be out and about again. And then y'all need to check out Miss Skittle's Zodiac Girls collection, which is still live in our what on our website. We are up to Capricorn right now.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:27

I think we're heading into Aquarian season.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:30

Yep, yep, yep.

SPEAKER_05 1:27:31

I can't see it.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:31

All new aquariums and then Taurus, yes, yes. Actually, I saw Taurus. Taurus is lit. Like Taurus embodies Taurus. That's all I'm gonna say about that. She's lit.

SPEAKER_06 1:27:43

Uh uh. So so that means we have our Taurus model, which we say on their cosplay.

SPEAKER_01 1:27:48

You just set yourself up. Yes, Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:00

On mute again.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:01

Oh, you would, but it's your turn to tell us how you can be reached.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:05

Hello. So I am on Sione Cosplay on Facebook. Sione underscore cosplay on IG. Sayone cosplay on Twitter.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:21

Nobody know how to get the channel.

SPEAKER_04 1:28:24

I think it's just Sayone on Twitter, but please don't vote it. I just be going on there to see other people. But Sayone cosplay on TikTok. But I don't go on it. Facebook and Instagram. That's yeah, those four.

SPEAKER_01 1:28:36

Alright, so we are also gonna promise you that we will do a TikTok with Nasia Ne Cosplay this year. Again, it may not be three, it may not be four, it might just be one, but we promised you we would do a TikTok with Nisaione cosplay this year, 2023. It might be both of them together, it might be a one-hit acquitter, but we're gonna do it. We're gonna do it. Uh, the doctor, how can you be reached?

SPEAKER_00 1:28:57

Uh so I just realized I'm not on Facebook proper anymore. No, Jesus. No. No, that's that actually, I guess if we can hold the resolution. I've been off Facebook for the past three months. Jeez. And yeah, I have no regrets. Hey, that's important. I am still on um Facebook Messenger, you know. So uh Rod RT on Facebook Messenger, and I should probably figure out what my Instagram is.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:23

I've been telling you to figure it out. You dare. You just follow me.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:26

Yeah, Rod RT on Facebook Messenger.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:28

Are we are we are we sliding into IG? Is this something we can promise to people? Are we keeping that barrier there?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:34

No, so I use IG all the time. I just never really think about how dare my username is.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:40

Okay, so we promise you that this year, Rod RT will be on IG in some way. I'm sorry, the doctor will be on IG in some way, shape, or form, and we will tag him in something if he allows us to tag him in something. How about that? Is that okay?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:54

That's acceptable.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:57

All right, and then of course myself, Suchi no Shogun. I can be found on IG at T uh Suchi underscore no underscore shogun. Suchi is spelled T-S-U-C-H-I. Um, or I can be found on what's that other thing? Um, Umbral Starcade uh on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitch, and Twitter. Yes. Uh, or uh, of course, all of us can be found on uh the Blurred Spectrum Podcast on IG or the Blur Spectrum Podcast on Facebook or the Blur Spectrum Podcast on Twitter. Um, and then oh, oh, you can reach our mailbag. There it is, uh, which is the Blurred Spectrum at HumbleStark.com. Uh, and then lastly, hopefully, you will see the Blur Inspectrum Podcast at a convention or at an event near you. Oh, if you would like to see. Oh, right, right, right. Uh, if you would like to see us uh at an event that we may not be scheduled for right now, feel free to either hit up one of our panelists or hit up the Blurred Spectrum Podcast directly on IG, and we'll get back to you uh as soon as possible. And now introducing the Blurred Spectrum Podcast merchandise. This has been a long, a very long time coming, not because of any individual person, but more so because of me. Because I said that it should be this way and it was supposed to be that way, and then it didn't get done this way because you know, people. Anywho, so I'm the people. So we now officially have the Blurred Spectrum Podcast merchandise that will go live as of the end of this recording, um on the Blurred Creations website, um, and on the Blurred Creations IG and Facebook shop. Uh, other than that, uh oh, uh I kind of want to change it, but I don't have time to change it because I didn't think about it before now. So I'll just say ending off this episode, Sayonara.