SPEAKER_08 0:00

Welcome back to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast. Each and every one of you, we are here today to uh to talk about something a little bit more morbid, a little bit uh a little sadder, a little bit may not feel good, it may uh make make you a little cross. I'm I'm I'm sorry to have to bring you this topic. Let's talk about sex, bitch! Alright, so we have this lovely topic today where we are going to be talking about all things sensual, volumptuous. Uh or or maybe maybe it wasn't volumptuous, maybe it was skinny, and maybe it was it was it was it hurt. Um may maybe maybe it felt arousing, or maybe it it smelt putrid. We're gonna talk about some of those different things today. I'm really excited about this topic. Uh, mainly because we strayed away from it for the last several years. Um, my fault, my fault, as I said. But uh, we are opening up the floodgates, pineapples. Uh we are going to go ahead and talk about this topic. We have a couple of uh uh uh guests as well as um uh normals, not normals who are here today to talk about this particular topic. Of course, I must go through our panels, starting with myself, your moderator, Suchino Shogun. I have the wonderful leader of sexual education, uh, me Skittles.

SPEAKER_14 1:32

Hello.

SPEAKER_08 1:36

I have the sultry uh uh demonic evocation uh of sex itself, the succubus Sayune cosplay. We have the microbiology stylings of the individual who can teach you about the inners of your sexual orientation. That is the doctor. That's good. I have technically a couple, but I believe one's flying solo, but he's here today through all of the sleep. Uh, that is Mr. Shammy B of the Shampoo Braceless.

SPEAKER_07 2:13

Yo yo, how's everybody?

SPEAKER_08 2:16

I have our wonderful producer slash uh uh videographer, photographer, and editor. Uh uh uh the the the lady who will kill you, like Selena Kyle, uh, Miss Where is she? Where is she? Where is she? He said and bezzle my nizzle. We're gonna make it and bezzle my nizzle. That's what it is today. Anbizzle my nizzle. Uh, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_12 2:42

Um, let's talk about it.

SPEAKER_08 2:48

Um, and then of course, we have our guest for today. I've been trying to get him on several episodes this year alone, but of course, our schedules keep clashing. Uh, other, you know, children are more important than his future. Uh, Mr. an Urban Nerd.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Peace. What's up, y'all?

SPEAKER_08 3:07

Well, that's a great question. What is up? Uh, like I said, we're talking about a lot of things. Uh, some people are drinking, some people are, you know, not. Uh, but we need to make sure. We need to make sure that we are on task and we're on topic. Now, before we dive into our first questions, we do have uh a little bit of a disclaimer, and I'm gonna give and pass the disclaimer over to Mia's Skittles.

SPEAKER_03 3:33

All right, hello, hello everyone, hello. Um, so before we get started, there's something um I feel like it's it's not, it's a very important topic, but it often gets overlooked. Um, and it's something that we're gonna talk about real quick before we get started into the nitty-gritty of this topic, but it's also something that you should be talking about um before you have sexual intercourse, and that's consent. Um so um I'm I'm sure everybody here knows what uh consent is uh when when you and a partner or partners um agree um to engage in sexual activity. Uh consent is important because it should be given freely, um, and it's it's all about communication. Uh, we talk about communication on this podcast all the time. It often comes up in every topic. Um, and sex is no so um communicating with your partners about sex or what what you're willing to engage in during intercourse is very important. Um, okay, so I found that I found this acronym online like randomly, and I I never heard of it before, but I like it. Um the acronym is trash itself, but it's called FRIES. It's FRIES.

SPEAKER_14 5:05

I thought you said the acronym is trash.

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I feel like it's easy to remember, but it's really weird because I don't know what it has to do with sex. Um, so fries.

SPEAKER_08 5:14

Well sex sometimes tastes like fries.

SPEAKER_03 5:16

Yeah, I'm about to say that sounds like some kink things, but fries. So the first letter, F, freely given, are reversible. I think that was really important because you know you can start engaging in sexual activity with somebody, but if you y'all get into a realm of something that they didn't agree to, then they can say no. And then that's it. That's when you stop.

SPEAKER_08 5:44

I say the neck.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Yeah, don't like that's it. Once you say no, no, just stop. Um, informed is I enthusiastic. I feel like that's a uh a really good one. Um like when it comes to consent, is if the I feel like if the person is not in the enthusiastic about having sex, like I feel like that should automatically be a turn off for you. Like, ooh, like maybe maybe we didn't do this, like you're you're clearly not into this, and you know, I want you to be comfortable. So I think that's um that's important when it comes to enthusiasm. Um, and then spec, uh, another very important one because just this is something I feel like we'll definitely get into because I I can't wait. Um being specific about what like what you're willing to do. Okay, just because you went in somebody back door a couple weeks ago don't mean the person you with today is okay with you going in the back door, like no. Okay, so you have to have these conversations because just because you know somebody you did this with before, or you know, this is your your um signature move doesn't mean everybody's okay with it. Um, but these are conversations that need to be had prior to engaging in sexual sexual activity. Um lastly, um, what is what is not consent? Um, I feel like these things are obvious, but often um, yeah, often it it's overlooked. Well, one, I know a lot of us, I'm sure people here, even on this podcast, do not actually engage in the consent conversation all the time prior to having sex. I feel like a lot of people think it's awkward. Oh, is it weird to ask these? It can be, but it's important. It's important to have these conversations, and that's how you can to me, that's how you can um get the best sexual experience with with that partner or partners. Um, so what is not consent? Um, just because somebody's flirting with you doesn't mean it's consent to have sex, they're the dressing sexy is not consent. Uh when they're quiet, that's not consent. Being in a relationship, whoo! That's a that that is a big one to me. Um, just because you are in a relationship with somebody does not mean you can have sex with them anytime you fuck a bit like it. Okay, if they don't want to do it, then they don't marry people. Like it don't matter what kind of relationship you're in, it does not mean that you get to have sex with this person whenever because y'all are in a relationship. No, that's not how that works. Um, um, people who are intoxicated, I feel like this happens a lot. Um consent is best when it's clear and you are sober. Um, so that I think that's a that's a big one. Um, and just because you had sex with somebody before doesn't mean that just because you y'all meeting up and y'all go home and Netflix and chill, then you can automatically decide and then no, that's not a bad. Okay. Um, but um I'm I'm trying to wrap it up. But most importantly, consent is a con conversation, okay? Um, it is freely given, it is coherent, um, enthusiastic, clear, specific. All of those things are important when engaging in sexual activity. And it I'm sure even though it might be awkward, those conversations will more than likely make the experience that much more better because now you and that individual or individuals know what what what you like or what is okay to do. Um, so you don't have those awkward moments where you're like, like, you know, ooh, like what you doing? And then you gotta stop the whole thing and then yeah. So um one thing to remember if you remember anything, um, be you know, when you're about to get into it, consent is sexy. My friend Safari, uh, she she has a little campaign, and um often she says consent is sexy. So I want y'all to remember that before you get in to the nitty-gritty, the detail, the mm-mm. Okay, I'm done.

SPEAKER_08 10:29

Real quick, I even want to add to that. Like, I I agree, like it took a while to even understand that that consent can be sexy because most people just take it as like verbal foreplay. But literally, that verbal foreplay is easily can be interpreted as consent. No, I mean I'm not about to do it right now because I'd have to switch voices.

SPEAKER_14 10:50

I don't want to hear what voices people ain't ready for that.

SPEAKER_08 10:53

No, I want to hear the voices.

SPEAKER_14 10:54

Let's let's see where this goes. We're ready for that. We're ready for that.

SPEAKER_08 11:00

I don't have I'm using a webcam, I don't have my mic, I need a mic. No, I can't do it. Uh next time, next time, next time. Um, but like there's a there when you're asking certain questions, when you are getting that feedback, that's a part of it. Like, do you want this to happen? Do you want me to do this? Do I want you to do that, etc.? Like, do you want to do this, etc.? Those are the questions that during not even intercourse, just during the environment, during the experience that you can ask that can move the process forward. Because there's a variety of times where people have, you know, we we said we were going to talk about, you know, kinks and uh interest and you know, different flavors of how they have like to have sex, and there's different things that I may be interested in that I obviously don't know if this new person who I've never interacted with has even thought about having. You know, some but some person could be extremely vanilla. I've talked about this sayone. People, there are some vanilla people out there. Um there's nothing you can do about it. It's just they they either they haven't been exposed to it or they've been exposed and they just don't want it. And you have to give them the ability to say yay or nay, or let me, let me, let me stick my toes in. Pineapples. I'm just gonna be a lot of fun. Um see what happens. But yes, no, thank you, uh, Miss Skittles. I think that was very important to start off with because I think that can easily help steer a lot of uh I think this is a good reference point for a lot of what we're gonna be talking about today. And then in future episodes, I think that's very important for people to know that every single aspect of consent. I'm gonna have to try to remember prize.

SPEAKER_04 12:46

Um I don't know who came up with that, but that's a that's a that's a different question.

SPEAKER_08 12:55

Um, but okay, so oh, she she see she she floating with that mimosa, y'all. Um, so so no, general question to everyone on today. Um you know, we're not gonna dive into anybody's past unless that's how you flow with it, but the question is what is your what is your knee-jerk feeling about sex? Whether somebody asks you for it, whether you see an advertisement, whether you see the word, whether Jacob, you know, called you and said you want to be on this episode, what is your knee-jerk reaction to the word, the concept of sex? And we will start with um someone who's overflowing with sexual energy right now. Uh Sayone Cosplay.

SPEAKER_11 13:53

I was just waiting for it. I'm like, I know he's gonna call me. I would say the first thing I think about when it comes to sex is intimacy first, and then kink. But intimacy first. And I think a lot of people when they think about sex is the penetration itself, but I don't the act of coitus, so to speak.

SPEAKER_14 14:25

I love that word.

SPEAKER_11 14:26

Coitus. It really doesn't the the penetration itself is not what gets to me, it's it's everything before that. It's the intimacy, it's the look, it's the touch, it's the the word spoken. Um that is what I think about when it comes to sex. When I you know, I hear some people like, man, I need to get I need to get some dick. And for me, for me, it's just kind of like I'm just kind of like, eh, you know, I to be honest, I never really had that desire, that brain desire, oh my gosh, you know, I need somebody to, I just need to get some dip right now. Like I I my my desires are more so intimacy, which might lead to that, but it's more so as can you talk to me the way how I want to be talked to? And that's very difficult to some people because it's an art. I feel like intimacy is an art. Intimacy is an art that not a lot of people have mastered. And I think when you think about sex, it's just, oh, I'm just gonna penetrate you and we're just gonna do this, and that's it. Like, no, my feel like you need to talk to me. You need to, you need to make me feel special, you need to make me feel almost worshipped. You make you need to make me feel like you you want me. And it's the feeling of the desire for me that turns me on more than the penetration itself. Like, hey, that's cool, but I need you to make me, it needs to be more cerebral. I want to go to the store and have you on my mind. I want to go somewhere where I'm not even thinking about sex, and then because of something that you said to me, or or the way that you touched my stomach, or the way you kissed my neck, then it kind of is a uh a mental Rolodex into that specific point in time where we had engaged in Quitus at the end point, but it was everything prior to that. So when I see sex, I automatically think of intimacy first.

SPEAKER_06 16:25

Okay, alright. I'm not a fan.

SPEAKER_08 16:32

Yes. Uh, yes, yes, yes. Um, I will ask the doctor what is your uh initial reaction to the word the concept of sex?

SPEAKER_00 16:49

I mean, sex is excitement, sex is fun, sex is all this passion and energy and positivity behind it. Like, I feel like when I think of sex, I think of almost an adventure, you know, where you're really getting to explore someone else, and they're getting to explore you, and you're finding out so much about each other and how you connect and really savor each other. And it's this like wonderful, amazing thing. And it's so, it's just so much fun, like, and it's so passionate and so enjoyable. And, you know, I think we often think of, you know, I guess as a society, we often like talk about sex as this big scary thing or this big thing that's like, oh, dangerous, and you have to be careful. And you know, certainly there's seriousness to sex and there needs to be accountability to sex and all of that, but ultimately sex is a healthy thing because it brings so much pleasure and joy, you know, and learning how to have sex and you know, to create that joy both for yourself and for your partner. I think that's amazing. Like, I I love sex, I always look forward to it. Um, it's you know, it is never a bad day, you know, that involves sex. So yeah, like yeah, sex is amazing.

SPEAKER_08 18:08

Okay, I uh yes. I can't argue with that, that's 100% accurate. Um that's adventure. Uh it's funny, as soon as you said adventure, I was thinking of like a goosebumps book where you know you choose all the right paths and you get like to the great part at the end of it, but then if you choose the wrong page, you want to go back like no, I didn't do it, I didn't do it.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

Yes, exactly. Sex is a pick your own adventure.

SPEAKER_08 18:31

Yes, you know who enjoys pick your own adventures. Shammy B. What is your knee-jerk reaction about sex?

SPEAKER_07 18:39

Um, I'm gonna be honest here. Uh a lot of times when somebody says sex, I feel like I think connection experimentation and energy. Reason being is because um the connection, because I always saw sex as like the physical side of the conversation, to be honest. Um you have a conversation with somebody, you're trying to get to know them, trying to get pieces of them, you know, as you talk to them, see what gets that particular particular reaction from them and then from you that makes it so that y'all can make a relationship with that, friendship, so on and so forth. And I always thought sex is kind of the same thing, to be honest. Uh the reason why I say experimentation is because I got issues. So uh like it's like so I was like, because my my thing with sex was it was um, I'm not gonna sit here and say I always look forward to it, to be honest. It was uh that was because of this earlier earlier life shit. But um, but it was like it was I always thought it was just uh how should I say this without sounding like an ass? Uh I always thought it was like a tool? Oh yeah. Alright, cool. That's exactly it. I always thought it was like a tool, I'm gonna be honest with you. Like it's like like it's like like the reason being is because like once you start to talk to a person, the for me, the best part of any relationship was always kind of a conversation piece. Once you get past the conversation, everything else got fucked simple. Like it's like like it's like sex to me was seen as simple. So it was like, all right, cool. It's once I got to know this person, that was a challenge. Now I know this person. Now I have an idea how their personality works. Now it's just, all right, do conversation, maybe how the way they react during conversation, to how a hand touch works, to how, you know, maybe a hug works, you can start to get in those sensitivities. Once you start to get into those sensitivities, then you can start to play around, once you get the better, you can start to play around with other sensitivities. All right, now I know you like this particular touch on the back of your neck. I know you like this particular feeling, like in the middle of it, as I you know, stroke down a person's spine. Like just like softly weigh your fingers down a person's spine and stuff like that. Suck your toes. Like it's just like it's like you start to get to know these things. And it's like, yeah, it's not as bad as today. Uh fucking like it's like, but it's like, it's like, it's, it's, it's like once you start to get to know these things and you start to get to know sensitivity, you start to get to know like pressure points and stuff like that. If you already had these conversations with this person, like when we talked about consent in the very beginning, that's true. It's like if you once you have the consent, then it's like, it's almost like you're think of it as you're constantly getting consent to do you like this, do you like this? Do you like this? Oh, you like this. Well, let me combine that with this, let me combine that with this. Now I'm playing games. So it's like now I'm playing with your fucking emotions. And that's the way I always thought to me, it's that's why I say experimentation. To me, it's all about experimenting with different, different connections that I have with your body. And then once I get those connections, now it's how much is combo breaker. And that's really now I'm trying to, now I'm trying to, now it's the now.

SPEAKER_14 21:58

Oh no, oh no.

SPEAKER_07 22:02

Like that's pretty much how it is. It's like once I take it in as much as I possibly can because I feel that. Once I get that energy, it makes me, and it's like, and then it's then it's a thing of always thawed as afterwards. Like, so did you like this moment? Now it's a customer service type situation. Did you like this? Did you like this? If I like say, and once I once you start to learn what you like from first, that's it's all experimentation. It's all a fun, experimenting game to me. That's what it is. I'm a dick. Very fun. It's the most fun but it's funny. I'm not gonna lie, it's funny.

SPEAKER_09 22:49

I feel like I have to clear up some things later. From the background.

SPEAKER_07 22:56

I got two kids for a reason. I did right. I did good. Oh I did it.

SPEAKER_08 23:07

Okay. Thank you, Shammy B. Uh, Lady Giovanni and Bizzle, my nizzle. What is your uh uh knee-jerk reaction? What's your knee-jerk response to the word, to the concept of sex?

SPEAKER_12 23:24

Um confusion. And I will explain. So I am a late bloomer. I did not lose my virginity until I was 19. I was a junior in college. So prior to that, for people who live or have been raised in a religious environment or a religious household, you know that sex is taboo. We don't talk about it, we don't let you see it. You know, I was on parental control until I was like 14, 15 years old. So I did not, and I was not exposed to sex like that. And I especially was not exposed to it in a positive way, especially going to church. You know, they love to shame people who are having sex at a wetlock, they love to shame just sex in general. So for a while I was ashamed of that, and I was like, okay, well, I'm just gonna have to wait till marriage and this and a third. I got to a point where I was just like, the men that I was around was like, there's no way I'm getting married. So um let's see our options of who I can experience this with. Um, but I also never got to experience sex in a relationship, in a committed relationship. So my exposure to sex is casual. It is not something serious, it's not something committed, it's not something passionate, it's just, you know, I'm gonna come over, we're gonna do the do, and I'll see you later, type of thing. So yeah, transactional. So for me, I'm still confused about sex. I have not been able to have intimacy where it is exclusive, where it is just you and me, and you know, love's involved and all that other stuff. So right now I'm just I'm still confused and I'm still wondering like, well, will that Prince Charming ever come or will she be a queen? I don't know. Hey! But yeah, right now at 25, I'm still confused. I I haven't been able to experience the full aspect of intimacy and sex, so I'm still waiting to just get experience and get out there right now.

SPEAKER_08 25:23

Well, you're gonna have people hitting up our mailbag, thanks. Like, I'll show you the way.

SPEAKER_04 25:34

I got you, I got you, bro. I got you, girl.

SPEAKER_08 25:38

And this will be my name.

SPEAKER_04 25:39

Right.

SPEAKER_14 25:40

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_08 25:44

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, hopefully this conversation uh uh uh enlightens not only you, but everyone. Um, but of course, you know, we can't, you know, leave out, you know, an urban nerd, you know, you're only here for a reason. You know, give us your knee-jerk, your initial response. I mean, you do spoken words you're a poet lawyer, so it's probably not me. Y'all, y'all ready? Y'all ready? You're about to hit it. Go ahead, go ahead, Bert. Go ahead, Bert.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

Why is the first time you say poet? They're like, where your nasty poems at? I'm like, calm down. Like, good Lord. Um, okay, no, I'm I'm I was filming uh a lot of what the brothers were saying as well. Um uh shoes um as well as um in this. Um yeah, I was also later, I think it was probably like my junior or senior year in high school when I was really first having sex. Um so I went into college kind of like not really having a lot of experience. Um so early on, it was really just like climax. That's all I thought sex was. It was like, all right, you know, the climax and we we good, kind of. Um now, now that I'm older, um, kind of similar to what you guys said, I definitely now see it as a journey. Because I think it's more, I think the journey to sex is more exciting than you know that climax. It's it's leading up to it, the the conversations, really getting to know each other. Um, and now I I find um as what are the terms? Like I realize I'm a pleaser. Um, that uh a lot of now when I'm I'm in sexual interactions, I'm like, I love like figuring someone out and learning what they enjoy. Um and I always call it like a Rubik's cube. And I'm like, I'm like, all right, which like okay, like what do you like, what do you enjoy, what don't you enjoy? Um and then to the point of you know, what my brother said earlier, can we can we combine some of these things? Can we uh like see if we can make sure the best best experience? Um, but I I always enjoyed leading up to it. So I I found more more fun in the foreplay than in the the sex itself. Um kind of similar to Web Skittles Assembly, you know, the finding out, you know, your boundaries and learning more about people is is sexy. It's it's enjoyable. Um so now I find that um yeah, I just really enjoy the journey of sex. And that's that's what I think of now. That it doesn't have to just be penetration. It can be you texting, it can be you like trying to mess up somebody on a phone call, it can be like a whole a whole like a whole myriad of things. Right, right, right. A whole myriad of things besides just penetration. So I I really do uh feel like it's that a journey.

SPEAKER_08 28:24

100%. Um I definitely agree with each and every person who has spoken on the podcast today so far. Um each and every one of these things I think is is depending on your how you grew up, depending on how you were exposed, depending on how who you interacted with, um who who graced your presence, uh, or who darkened your doorstep. Each and every one of these individual experiences, I think somebody, each of us have experienced at least once. Now, some of us haven't experienced everything, because you know we're still on our journeys and things of that nature. Uh, but for me, I have experienced all of these. I've experienced uh at this stage in the game, I'll talk about now. I am definitely an individual who has learned about the concept of because I've okay, let me say it like this. I've been a pleaser for a very long time. And um the act of being a pleaser to this stage has gotten me to, by definition of sex or by my interaction with sex, is I get off mentally by being a pleaser. I'm enjoying myself because of the things that I'm doing for the other person. Um, the art of getting the person to react, to uh get off, to squeal, to laugh, to giggle, to um moan, to be perplexed in what's happening.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

My favorite perplexed yes, yes, you might get in trouble.

SPEAKER_08 30:08

To be incapacitated. Um those are the things at this stage. Um intercourse doesn't even have to do it anymore. I can uh I I've said before, I don't even have to what was the word you used, uh Sayone? Uh penetrate, there it is. Uh was it penetrate?

SPEAKER_13 30:25

Coitus.

SPEAKER_08 30:26

Coitus, there it is, yes. For me, the concept of coitus is like I don't remember what show I was watching, but uh or movie. And he was like, as we as we groped in the in the tank the tangibles of the Kama Sutra, and our limbs and our arms and our offices were all entangled and entrenched. We then found ourselves into the center of coitus. I was like, oh, like didn't just make you feel some type of way when it said that. So it's like I'm at the stage where I'm like kind of searching for those types of experiences, not even about the penetration, it's about having the party uh experience new heights, new uh feelings, new things that they've never had before. Not just fantasies, because fantasies can be places, it can be, you know, food, it can be a variety of things. You know, kink kind of goes into fantasies. It's it's but it's more so doing things that you thought you knew you liked, but you never felt it this way before. Um, those are the types of things that I like to experience. That's that's what I see when I think of sex. It's like sex is long time ago, sex was just penetration, long time ago, sex was just ejaculation, long time ago, sex was just, you know, two people, we got it done, let's get out of here. That was not even going to all that. That was a long time ago. Now it's far from that. It's uh when you get, it's almost like um uh when you get to a certain stage and a certain level in the game that you're playing, now you know, the smaller things, you can one-shot certain monsters and one-shot certain experiences. But then when you find yourself with a good uh uh uh boss battle where you have to put together a strategy, uh you have to make sure you don't tap out, make sure you don't die, uh, but also make sure that, and then when they get more health, you're like, oh, round two. Like literally, it's it's that type of experience. It's a high-level boss battle. Uh that's that's where I'm at right now in terms of uh concept of sex, because um, no, yeah, that that's why I'm at. Oh, the Skittles about to say something. She's about to say.

SPEAKER_03 32:37

No, I'm just I'm just waiting for you to finish so I can get so I can give mine because I feel like it's probably the most complicated.

SPEAKER_08 32:50

All right. Yes, the Skittles, what is your feeling, your knee-jerk reaction, your definition of your experience of sex?

SPEAKER_03 33:02

So, like many of you here, um, in the beginning, it was it was very much uh vanilla, it was very much a standard thing that you're supposed to do to have babies. It was very much just like penetration in my in my mind frame. But um, as I've gotten older and started exploring the different paths that I'm on or in or you know, unicorn things, um, I have I have actually, I'm an overthinker, so I have split. I feel like sex, there's levels to sex to me. Um there's like there's there's casual sex, there's fucking, there, there's to me, there there's levels to it. Um and and speaking to something that each of you have already said, like, you know, the the um adventurous aspect for for me is like everybody gets adventurous aspect. Um with consent, of course, but everybody gives adventurous aspect. Um, but I've also I've also been, you know, that chick, like, you know, Sayane said, uh, I'm just I'm just looking for the thing. Okay. Like I've also I'm also on that level, and and to me, that's just fucking like, you know, in and out, done, boom, good, casual. Um, and then, you know, and then there's intimacy. Uh, so that that's that leads into love making, that leads into shared energy, you know, the the orphos, all of the all of that stuff that you though that's that's when uh when it comes to like making love to someone, it it's when they experience like all of me, like a hundred percent. I don't give a hundred percent to everybody I have sex with. Uh it's just not everybody don't deserve that energy.

SPEAKER_06 34:55

That point.

SPEAKER_03 34:57

Um so for me, you know, I I split it up into different levels, and um while you know, while some people might get, you know, 70%, you know, of my energy, it's always adventurous, it's always fun. Um when when I think about sex, I think about I don't just just like the doctor said, just fun, adventure, like freedom. Um, I think freedom is a big thing for me. It's it's just like the your most vulnerable self. And even though, you know, I'm not if I'm just fucking somebody, I'm not giving them a hundred percent of my energy, it's still the freedom, you know, that that consent, that acknowledgement that we're you know, we're into the into this together. So let's make it fun. I like I want to know about you, dude. And I feel like I'm sort of a pleasure, um, because things that excite me the most is is why like all those things that you said, um, Suji, like the the squirming, the squealing, the, you know, like if I do something a little like this and I see you move a certain way, like I watch body movements, I you know, I'm looking for eye contact. I'm looking for all of those things. I'm looking for teardrops coming out your eyes. Like, I those types of things get me excited. And then, you know, I just feel like it's it's just that much more fun. Like, I just feel like sex should be a fun thing. Um, it shouldn't be like this, you know, oh routine, uh let you know, let oh uh and I feel like a lot of married people fall into that, but um you just gotta you just gotta keep exploring, trying new things, um with consent, of course.

SPEAKER_08 36:53

But yes, that's what I think about wonderful. Yeah, but I I I think we all um I think we all have a variety of different views, but I think we all have a variety of different expectations, and that's where I want this next question to go into. What do you feel as though was your expectation about sex going into it for the first time? Before you touched anybody, before you got up in anything, what was your ide what was your expectation? Because I know some of us have talked about, you know, we've seen things, you know, maybe intimacy, you know, maybe it wasn't, maybe it was a hit it and quit it, maybe it was a relationship, however you had your first one. Um, what was your expectation? And it seems like Lady Giovanni wants to profess.

SPEAKER_12 37:47

Yeah. Um again, back to growing up in a religious household. Um, my expectation was, you know, marriage, um, or at least relationship. When I was like 17, 18 years old, I told myself like I would be married by 24, or at least about engaged, and um 25, and I've never been in a relationship before. Um, but when I did start to have sex, I was expecting monogamy. I wasn't expecting the casualness that ended up coming with it. Um and I'm going to I'm going to get real personal because I feel like everybody needs to hear this when it comes down to getting yourself tested and you know STEs and STIs and all of that. I wasn't expecting that to happen to me. I didn't know the real world. I grew up very protected. So I didn't know that when it came down to sex, you also needed to protect yourself. So that's something I wasn't expecting. Um, and when it happened, I really I felt betrayed. I felt confused um and scared. But my expectation from for sex was romance, love, honesty, passion, and I got the exact opposite. Yeah. So it was it was not fun for me, but I I am young, I'm still here, I'm still alive, and I feel like one day I will experience that. It's just for some reason I didn't stumble upon that person that could give me that.

SPEAKER_08 39:19

Real quick, before I go back to the question, uh, and I know Mr. Kid was probably gonna say something similar, like that might not have been my first experience, but I have experienced situations where because of what I thought was supposed to happen, because of what I wanted, because of what I wanted to happen, not about what I expected, what I wanted to happen. And also, worst part, what I was promised would happen. I was put into a situation where I had put up my hopes, expectations, desires, uh, kind of what Miss Skittle said about, you know, now she's at the point where she doesn't give somebody 100%, she gives somebody maximum 70%. When you're younger, when you want so much more, when you don't know what to expect, you give all of yourself. When you give all of yourself, and it's kind of thrown into a gutter, or worse, it is the most abysmal feeling you can possibly ever have because it's like disastrous feeling.

SPEAKER_06 40:22

It's there, girl.

SPEAKER_08 40:25

It's it's not um well, contrary to what the doctor and Miss Gilda said, it's not fun. Um, you expect to be on this like positive emotional roller coaster and you end up like never taking off the ground. Actually, you go into like a subterranean roller coaster.

unknown 40:42

Also the worst because you're gonna upside down.

SPEAKER_08 40:44

And it's like sorry, I'm whispering. Sorry. Yes, it's not fun at all. Uh it's um, I mean, I have no place to even say anything about your particular situation. I mean, I would love to say I'm sorry, I would love to say I wish it could have been better, but obviously you've heard that before. Obviously, you know that you wish that that could happen. What I can say though, which I hope brings some type of solace, is you know how people always say it can get better. It's not about it getting better, it's about the fact that, and I don't know about that whole there's always somebody out there for you. There are people out there who, like we said, we've experienced positive, even if we've never seen those people again in our lives, we've experienced situations in people who have brought that fun, that joy, that intimacy, that you know, just just enjoyment out of two beings sharing energy, swapping energies. I'm just gonna say energy. And being able to interact with one another. And I'm sorry. Um, and like you said, you know, 25. Uh I was talking to somebody else who's 25. Same, almost the same situation, never been in a relationship, you know, never experienced something positive. So, but now they're experiencing something positive. So it's it's it's possible. And the only thing I can hope and say is I hope that because of those experiences, it does not close you off to the point where you don't give an actual experience a try. You don't, you know, put yourself, set yourself up for expecting the worst every single time. Now, I will say when you expect the worst, sometimes you get surprised. So I'm not gonna say don't be defenseless, but I'm just gonna say don't, you know, this is hard to say a lot. I'm sorry, let's get us a key trap, because I'm I'm trying. I'm trying to die.

SPEAKER_14 42:41

Wait, what are you trying to say?

SPEAKER_08 42:43

I try to say that, you know, I I I don't want her to close herself off and and and miss out on what could potentially happen. But then the problem is there are assholes out there. So, you know, closing is a problem defend you. So maybe you got a better one, because I don't at the moment.

SPEAKER_03 42:59

No, I I mean unfortunately, that that's just what it comes down to. Like you you will deal with probably more shitty people than you will good. Um, but I I say all that to say when it comes to when it comes to sex and intimacy, when you do open yourself up and that person is open to you opening yourself up, and they are also open with you. It it it's somewhat magical, even if you're not, even if you're not giving 100%. Um at 70%, I've had some great fuck buddies. And and uh honestly, they they become, you know, fuck buddies or friends with benefits, that's a better word. Friends with friends with benefits because they they are that's my vision to to continue to have sex. With this person because they make me feel some type of way when I have sex with them, even though we're not in a relationship, even though you know it is casual. Um, I enjoy having sex with you that much because I have made you a regular. But um, like like Jacob said, like, I I don't want you to like you know lock yourself off. If if that experience ever comes up, I want you to be open to it. Um, because what you have currently experienced is not always going to be the case.

SPEAKER_12 44:41

Um, I will say it's a little too late. I have unfortunately been shut off for quite a long time. Um, but as of recently, I've acknowledged it, and I'm just like, I want to change. So I have been trying my best to open up, to not look at every man as the shitty person I believe them to be. And I've just been trying to remember that not everybody is bad. You know, not everybody is going to treat me the way that I was treated, but it's a work in progress, you know. It wasn't just the the things that I mentioned before. It's like a 200-mile-long list of shit that I had to go through. So we're healing and we're improving. And it's like because I want love and I want that experience, I'm pushing myself to be more open. And that's all I can really do for myself at this point.

SPEAKER_03 45:29

That's all you can do. Take and take your time.

SPEAKER_00 45:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 45:34

Doctor, you had something you want to say?

SPEAKER_00 45:35

No, yeah. I mean, and you know, vulnerability does take time, you know, and sex does take a certain level of vulnerability. So, you know, don't rush yourself, you know, it's go at your own pace. And there is a certain balance there where you know you have to be vulnerable enough to enjoy sex and be able to connect with someone, but safe enough because there are, you know, real dangers that exist, you know, and now, you know, sex does take trust, and not everyone actually deserves trust. So, you know, there is a certain balance there. But, you know, whatever works for you over time, you know, as you know, get more comfortable with people and more comfortable, you know, with your you know, security with, you know, that level of vulnerability, um, you know, that's you know, whatever works for you. You know, and don't feel bad about how long that takes or feel like that needs to be rushed. Because it is, you know, it's always a work in progress. And um, and also this kind of relates to you know Miss Skittle's mention about friends of benefits. Um, I think the way we form sexual relationships, there are many different types of sexual relationships. Um, and sometimes, you know, good sex doesn't always require necessarily a romantic relationship to have that type of trust. So I have, you know, some friends of benefits who, you know, I've had for years and years and years, and really this sex with them has at this point gotten so good that it is comparable to like a long-term partner, honestly. Like, that's because we know each other that well, the trust is there, it's amazing, you know, and we we really understand and respect each other, we know each other likes and what we like. So, you know, and that that works well for me, and that you know can work well for a lot of people, but it really just depends on, you know, you don't have to think of it as necessarily, it's always gonna be this, you know, I guess a kind of structured monogamy type thing that you know, our parents always tell us that oh, sex has to be, you know, you know, one man, one woman marriage, and all that. Like it's no, I mean, you you will get to figure out the kind of sex and the structure for sex that you like and that your partner likes, and then you roll with it.

SPEAKER_08 47:46

Thank you. I don't even remember what my question was. Um that's a good point.

SPEAKER_02 47:52

The question was what was our expectations of sex?

SPEAKER_08 47:57

There we go. Thank you. Uh well, since we're talking, Miss Gills, what was your expectations of sex?

SPEAKER_03 48:02

Um so my expectations was of sex were um were pretty much like this fairy tale, romantic, rom-com shit, okay?

SPEAKER_08 48:14

Yeah, rom-com. It was it was a Disney com, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_03 48:17

It was it was yes, it was a it was the a combination of that and and then also like porn. So it's I I don't I don't know if that's a weird combo, because I just I just expected I expected to be in love and I expected it to be like, you know, start off romantic, like somebody, you know, whine and dime the, you know, and then we go back and and and then we make a porno together.

SPEAKER_04 48:46

But but yeah, um Jeremy, don't look at me like that.

unknown 48:51

Don't look at me.

SPEAKER_04 48:54

I just expected, I I I expected it to be I don't know, I expect I did expect to be in love.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Um I had watched enough, uh secretly watched enough uh late night uh HBO skinemax and all that to know that to know that um like it wasn't gonna be like like super romantic, but I wanted it to be like in the initial, like how do you get me there? Like get me to be, you know, I'm gonna be in love with this person, and then and then we do all these, you know, nasty things. Um my experience though was not was far from that. It was very, it was very far from that. Uh I I the person um was my boyfriend at the time. Uh, and then uh this is something that's very interesting. Um when it comes to like protection, like so I I knew about protection. We we had you know sex ed in high school and all that. Uh I lost my virginity at the well I was in the summer of between junior and senior year high school. So um this this person, I well, I wasn't in love with him, but I just you know it was like okay, this is probably gonna happen, like, because you know he's experienced and you know, you know, things it just felt right. I thought it felt right, but then it happened. Um it was painful. Nobody, nobody's nobody talked about that in sex ed, okay? Nobody mentioned pain, like that type of pain. So it was painful, and then on top of that, um, the protection broke.

SPEAKER_04 50:40

So I'm like, holy shit, I'm pregnant. The first even though I knew it didn't work that way, but I also worked that way. Like, I'm like, okay, kinda broke, I'm pregnant. That's it. I gotta tell my mom. I gotta tell my mom, life is over. I'm be a I'm gonna be a uh high school uh baby mama or whatever. Um, but that that whole experience was kind of traumatizing.

SPEAKER_03 51:10

Um, of course, I wasn't pregnant, thank God. Um, my mom put me on birth control immediately. But the worst part of all of that is this person that I was in a relationship with, who I thought, you know, would have my back, you know, went around school like, oh, if if she's pregnant, it's not mine.

SPEAKER_14 51:29

This is my virginity.

SPEAKER_04 51:32

So it's it's the whole, like I said, my expectations and what actually happened were completely different.

SPEAKER_03 51:41

Uh, so yeah, that's that's safe. I think that's safe.

SPEAKER_08 51:48

Oh shit. Okay, this is this is looks like this is this this is gonna be that segment. See, everybody got stories. Um uh I guess we'll switch it to the doctor. Your expectation versus reality, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 52:06

Yeah, so so I guess my expectations were first just really ill-informed because you know, I think, you know, especially being uh, you know, gay kid in this religious household, um, everything I ever heard about sex was in the context of you know a man being with a woman, like every time, you know. So, and that's the messaging that I was getting at school too. So I really had no idea going in other than what I saw in porn, which, you know, of course, porn is wonderful, you know, porn's fun, but it's not a great first source for sexual information uh where a kid doesn't know any better, you know. So I remember like my first time was with a good friend of mine who slept over, and you know, we already knew we liked each other, we were like kind of dating, but not really, because you can really be out like that. So um, and you know, again, like I think the uh the things that stood out were it was a really enjoyable experience um going in, you know, and I didn't have any uh we were just still kind of like stumbling around figuring it out. Uh man, uh we didn't have actual lube, which I didn't know was an important thing back then. So yeah, that was kind of a disaster at first. We found a high quality lotion and made it work, but not the high quality lotion. Yes, I understand. Yeah, it was looking back, it I would not recommend. I would not but you know, we were like like I was 14, he was 15 at the time, so like we were young, you know. Also, um back then I remember everything I learned about sex, set, and condoms was about like men being with women. So I'm thinking, I'm glad the gays don't have to worry about any of that.

SPEAKER_10 53:51

I I had to unmute because I I okay, I tell Limes, I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_04 54:00

But you're right though, you are right. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 54:05

Yo, then I'm so I remember I told what was it afterwards, I told one of my older cousins about this, and she was like, I said, wait, but gay people can't get STDs, right? He said, Yeah, they can, they get them all. I was like, wait, what? I can't be right. Oh my god. And then like I started panicking, like, oh no, what have I done?

SPEAKER_12 54:28

Oh my god, you poor baby. Oh no.

SPEAKER_10 54:31

Oh I'm I'm I'm over here like wait, what? And what's so unfortunate about our our community, the queer community, is like in the beginning, well, obviously you didn't see it, but but they used to they used to, you know, like pin that on us, like we are the reason why, you know, people have A's and HIV, like we're the reason why STIs and S T D start.

SPEAKER_00 54:59

Like, oh it's I'm so sorry. It it was it was a mess. But the actual experience was good, you know, and it was something that, you know, I'm glad I had him as my first partner because he was someone I really trusted, and you know, he he really did earn that trust. And you know, it became he was a good partner going forward for like a while up until Hansin went to college. So, you know, it's just the the information wasn't really there that caused some challenges, but um, you know, and that's why I do STI research now.

SPEAKER_08 55:33

You know, I was about to say, it's it's it's I see I see a connection. Because, and you know, it's real quick, it's interesting about your story, uh Doctor, is the fact that the key to that is the fact that there was no information to explain these like obvious like points, but because they didn't want us to do it, they didn't want you to be doing that because you looked over the religious household, religious environment, so on and so forth. And because, you know, queer relationships, queer intersex, intersex, queer sex was not promoted as what should be, I don't know, what should be happening. Um, that information wasn't out there, and that's kind of why they're trying to get it out there now, but now they're like, we don't want that information in the schools, it's gonna cause more people to do it. I was like, no, it's just gonna cause more people to do it safely and and and be aware of the shit that they can get themselves into. Because you like in the aftermath, getting all of that information is I it I can only imagine how frightening that could be at 14 years old learning that, oh yeah, I'm the safest in this situation, and then no, no, you're actually you're actually at the most at the most risk. Like, what? What have I done? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_09 56:45

Like I just I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_00 56:47

It was a nightmare. My cousin's like, yeah, you know, we better get you a few tests. Like, and you know, I'm panicking the whole time. Oh my god. And this was back when HIV tests took like two weeks to do. So none of that aura quick stuff we have now, like you had to have that anxiety for a while.

SPEAKER_06 57:04

Oh god.

SPEAKER_00 57:05

Yeah. That was a lot.

SPEAKER_08 57:09

Thank you for sharing. But good experience though. Well, otherwise. Um okay, let's um I kind of want to hear the story again. Uh, Shammy B. Uh, what was your expectations?

SPEAKER_07 57:26

What were your expectations? Fuck up with it. Look, um, my expectation was trash. Uh not gonna lie, um, I was because of I was really big into foreplay before my first time. So for years, that just that was my shit. Foreplay, my shit. Like it's like the joke of I was a bigger, that was, that was that was shit. But uh, so by the time I had gotten into my first time, my first actual first time, I was honestly, I was a late bloomer to an extent too. I was like 19. Um, when I finally did have penetration with sex. And uh yeah, it was garbage. It was absolute ass. Like it was, it was, I had just gotten out of a really serious relationship, so I got this, I take it like damn near a year off from everybody and said, fuck the world. It just worked. And then finally got into a relationship with a chick that it didn't last too long, but it was like, you know, it was what it was. And then um what ended up happening was uh, like I said, it was the first time we had sex, we went over to the house, you know, went to go do the thing, and um we let's say we had sex for a lot longer of a time than most people would supposedly have on at first, and um she passed the fuck out, but I had to get home. I missed the bus. I was in Clinton. I lived in Glen Arden. I walked after this in the middle of the night two hours to the nearest metro stop and almost missed the train and had to get somebody to give me a ride, so I played with safety that night to give me a ride to the next metro station. Rode the metro home, got home, and just like this is what this is like this is it?

SPEAKER_08 59:33

What is what's these terrible stories?

SPEAKER_07 59:35

Like uh it was cool, like she had fun, but fucking like this aftermath. Like, nah like nah, it was like this. My first time, like it was like most people was like, oh, you know, the the first time the trash, my first time was trash for a while. Like it was like like it was just like it was like this was a continuous thing. We would go, we would smash, I would leave still on heart. Like it was just like it was just like it was just, it was, this is a constant, this was an annoying ass thing. It took like I think like like I could probably say I enjoyed sex after like a month. Like it was like just like just this continuous cycle of we would go see each other, we like smash someone around. It was like my my first time was was once in somebody else's home, and then the next time, like it was like every for that, like the get the first enjoyment out of it was like we would do it in movie theaters, fucking, like just random ass spots, and it was just like trying to just find out what is up with me. So, and then finally it was it just it was the connection with the person, to be honest. It was just the connection with the person. I I found out. So it was that's when yeah, my first time was a discovery of literally me and me and sex are just not meant to be. Also, like I said, I was raised in a family where it was like they told me to be in multiple relationships. Like, like told me, like I was raised to be that way. Like it's like, and now I'll be what at one time, I don't even be all one after me. I'm talking at the same time. Like it's like my family literally was raising me to be a hoe. And it was it was like, because it was it was what we do. So it looked like that was what it was a thing. So yeah, it was a bloodline thing. It was like a Sasuke eye trick.

SPEAKER_08 1:01:27

Oh my god, stop.

SPEAKER_07 1:01:28

Like, so yeah, so I guess my first yeah, it was not like like Suchi fucked up because he heard this boy. That's why he said I look forward to hear the story again. Fuck that nigga. Uh like because he knew me at the time, all this shit went down. So it was like that story before ever. That was nothing. That's good. Like, where I was at and where I lived at was like a three-hour, like, I'm talking like a two-hour metro ride where I had to jump from Green Line to Orange Line. And I had to go through Clinton. Like, it was like for people who know Clinton, like, it's not a place you just want to walk through in the middle of the night. So, like I'm so sorry, bruh. It was it was a very, very, very trash situation. So, yeah, I enjoyed the the rest of the stories of first time suck ass. So okay, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_08 1:02:23

Maybe somebody had a good first time. Uh Sayone. Come on, bring it on.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:29

I did. Uh I did, I did, um, but my story is very, very unconventional. I was brought up watching Real Sex 96, and I'm 32. So I was a child watching Real Sex 96. Um, I this was back in the day when we had the illegal black box and you had to, you had the the the remote switched on last channel. So I switched it quick to Cartoon Network and then I switched it back on HBO. The moment I heard footsteps, I switched it back to Looney Two.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:10

Those secrets, all the secrets.

SPEAKER_11 1:03:15

Like to this day, my parents never knew I watched porn. Never knew. I I've been great at hiding that, but they never knew. And I remember when I was I would watch movies that no six-year-old should be watching. Like I was watching Terminator, I thought it was cool. You know, I I was watching adult content at a young age that I thought was pretty fascinating, and I didn't I didn't feel any type of way about it. But um there I remember specifically one night I stayed up until 12, and you know, 12 o'clock is the booty o'clock hour in HBO. So I uh Real Sex 96 was on, and at first it started off as a conversation, and then it started off you seeing people doing different types of pink, like pet play and bondage, and they weren't necessarily having sex, but you see that they're engaging and different contraptions, and my mind is like shit, this is better than any cartoon I've ever seen. I'm like, I'm gonna keep watching this I have to keep watching this, but I know that it's it wasn't right for me to see it because I'm seeing people's special place. So I'm like, I know I'm not supposed to be looking at this lady's special place, but it's a fucking cool, so I'm gonna keep watching it. And um that helped to create this world in my mind of what sex should be. Uh pros and cons. But I did know that I knew what I was what I was looking at was very specific. So I I would I can say I had the intelligence to know that this is not everybody does, because I never heard people talk about it. Even I've never seen it on TV, as in with Miss Skittle saying the rom com. You'll see very, very soft core for maybe two seconds, and then it'll go on commercial. So you never really saw anything that pertained to Kink at all. So I knew that it was a specific crowd that does this, but I was that specific crowd and I want to know more about it. But I knew that I'm not gonna find it in high school. And to me, I felt that high school was jail, that you're forced to be around people. So I'm like, I'm gonna fuck these people here. So fucking people here, they're not worthy of this experience. So um, I actually I was a late bloomer by choice, by choice, and I grew up in a very conservative household. Uh Jamaican Nigerian household. Boyfriend, it was friend. That's your friend. That's exactly what it was. That was it. So there was no conversations about sex. My mom did a very good job of of prepping me for what sex is. She scared the shit out of me of getting pregnant and STDs. So I was like, I'm not fucking at all. In high school, because if let's say I enjoy it and I get pregnant, my mom always said, You know me, barefoot, I'm pregnant on the side of the rules. I was like, nah, no, I'm good. I'm not gonna do no. So um, my first experience, I was I lost my virginity to a very good friend of mine. We actually were in a relationship and we were both versions, which was a plus to me. I'm like, hey, we could both be awkward together. It's great. And he was a nerd. I'm like, oh, this is great. He likes video games too, and he's a nerd, and he had kinks too, and he's kinky. So I that was my person that I was like, oh, the powers that be this is gonna work. And we had a lot of conversations, we had a lot of uh we had a lot of um research. I didn't think I I didn't, I never experienced squirting. I thought that it I really thought it wasn't possible for me to squirt, and he actually took the time to research my like he really wanted to know my body. He researched how to make a woman squirt. I remember uh sorry, it's gonna get a little personal. We we were uh playing.

SPEAKER_09 1:07:02

Not there yet.

SPEAKER_11 1:07:04

We were playing, I'm not gonna go into the nitty-gritty, and um he was using a toy. No, no, he wasn't. He was using his fingers, he was fingering me, and I felt like I had to pee. And every time he would do it, I would stop. I'm like, no, no, no, stop, Tap, I can't pee on you, I can't. And um he would he said, in research, it feels like you know you're gonna pee. So it's okay. And I was so ashamed because you know, being a woman, just the thought of having sex with someone, you always think about how you look, your body, your facial expressions, and me watching porn. I'm like, I'm not gonna look sexy if I pee all over him. I can't do this shit. And so the the hottest thing that he ever told me, and you know, as I felt this urge to, you know, I had felt this urge, and he was like, I don't fucking care if you pee on me, just do it.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:53

I was like, okay, and so that was hot. That was exactly okay.

SPEAKER_11 1:08:01

It's sexy, that was hot, you know, like it was it was again going to that connection and the verbal, it's not the action, it's somebody allowing you to be vulnerable in that vulnerable space. And I was very comfortable with him. And so I've learned a lot of of pinky tips and tricks together with him. We evolved together. Um, that was my first relationship. And to date, my longest relationship obviously didn't work out, but I'm very grateful that I had that experience with him. Um, even when it came to losing my virginity with him, we uh I vaginal wise and very, very tight. Um, I think that helped when I was I was in dance, so we had to do a lot of pelvic muscle contractions, not not on purpose, but because of dance, you I was very tight. So I never could use tampons. Like it was too uncomfortable for me. I I so the the thought of sex was very scary because I knew it was gonna hurt because I knew I couldn't, I I couldn't do certain things that other girls in high school were like, oh, we're using it. Busting it wide open. Yeah, either, either if it was sex or they were just talking about tampons.

SPEAKER_14 1:09:12

Don't laugh. That was a serious statement, people.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:16

Oh, I forgot I was unmuted and didn't nobody tell you say bust it wide open.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:22

You were wrong for that one, Jay.

SPEAKER_07 1:09:25

Bust it wide open. He was like, Wide open. Was that English T? Like, what the fuck are they talking about?

SPEAKER_11 1:09:40

But um my how I lost my virginity was also unconventional. I lost it analyzing. I did not lose it vaginally um because again, my vagina was so tight. So he it took him about a month and a half of just fingering me to break my hymen because I was so incredibly tight. And I'm like, hey, I watched for it. We watched for it. Let's do anal. He's like, okay, and so but we I mean, so we we had so much, but he wasn't thank thank God he wasn't like mandingo huge either. So it was it was perfect for me, otherwise I couldn't do it. So he was like the perfect size. Where and and I think uh that's another thing that a lot of people don't talk about is appreciating smaller sizes, to be honest, because I literally couldn't do it, I couldn't do it any other way, I couldn't enjoy Coitus um if he was any bigger than what he was, and uh and also I couldn't get pregnant, yay! So I but um it was it was pleasurable. I actually, and when we did engage into vaginal, it wasn't it it didn't feel like anything, it you know, because again, he wasn't the most endowed, but I was like, Is that it?

SPEAKER_08 1:10:59

Nah, just keep talking that please you gotta I'm not trying to play nobody because I don't know this person, but you you gotta be some type of like you you gotta, you know, I'm not you know, I'm not gonna shame.

SPEAKER_07 1:11:14

Wait, real quick though, I've heard I know another woman who said that. I actually know somebody else who was like that. When um a long time ago, that was literally like they would take Ado over baggage or sex any day of the week.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:26

Yeah, you know, I I now I've changed. And that's also something your sexual journey changes. Um, you can't do that with everybody because some people be like, You read him like fuck no, not doing it. Where's that going? And going back here. Keep that thing in the ugly.

SPEAKER_08 1:11:43

Keep that thing banging.

SPEAKER_11 1:11:44

Keep that thing wanging. But um, yeah, so like for me, I I'm also not a very sensitive person vaginally either. Um, so that's something that I've grown to know when I was with him, that I felt more back there with him. But with other partners, I'm like, it's too much prep. And um, you know, and I know with with my queer community when it comes to prepping, that is so important. And um to the listeners, what what ain't prepping, especially for anal, you you're going to do things to be clean and you know, prior to coitus, which involves using, you know, you might want to even change your diet, you know, you don't want to eat uh Mexican food or uh greasy food prior, probably not but um it involves you know could be involved enemas, um just kind of cleaning yourself. Um, if you are engaging in anal sex, it obviously it's your butt, so it's it's messy anyway. It's your butt. I don't know how to it is what it is, so you know you want to make sure that you prep yourself, you clean yourself and for you for your peace of mind and also to be to be respectful of the person that's going to be you know doing what they gotta do back there. So, but that's a conversation that is never really taught to you. I had to learn from my gay friends what prepping was. Um, otherwise I wouldn't fucking know. You think my parents are gonna teach me, hey Chine, before you do that, anal, switch you gotta do. No, that's not that that was not a conversation, and it wasn't important either. Important did not teach prep, they didn't teach you about foreplay or prepping or any of that. So that really is a uh a journey of learning um about yourself. And and if you if you really care, if you really care about yourself, you care about the partner that you're engaging with, you always want to research. No one has to tell you to research. It's cool if someone can can let you know to research, but you also want to be your own person and to really know what I can do to make this better for me? Um, is this how sex is supposed to be? Maybe you had experience where you're like, uh, I didn't really like how it was. What how can we change this? So, but and in in in its entirety, my first time was what I expected it to be. Um, thankfully, because I did it with a person that was open and we were the same. We both were virgins. I think it would have been very different if I was with someone that was experienced. I probably would be very nervous and I probably wouldn't have opened myself up to be as vulnerable because I would be in this fighting of I need to impress. Whereas we're two people that are virgins, we didn't know what the fuck we're doing. So we could fuck up and it's great because we didn't know better. And I think that that was very beneficial for me. Um, and then it kind of just helped progress my journey into um sex and intimacy.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:40

Yeah, knowing how niggas are in high school, I wouldn't be surprised if, well, guys, I don't think niggas, but guys are in high school. I wouldn't be surprised if your situation had it not been the person that was having sent for you uh to experience, it probably potentially would have ended up similar to Miss Skittle's experience, where you know, somebody who either had an experience before or based off of what they know about sex, which would probably been very little, would have tried to do it this way, which is the only way that they know. And if it didn't work, they would have said something's wrong with you. And then that would have caused all types of emotional damage and bullshit and god I hate maybe sometimes.

SPEAKER_11 1:15:19

Anyway, uh if you don't mind, I wanted to quickly piggyback off of um Miss Skittles. I I didn't have vaginal sex, but I did have oral sex with a boyfriend in high school, and it was a very bad experience because he was trying to push sex with me, and I told him no. Um, so I wanted to give, I was like, I'll give you anything you want. I'll do oral, but I will not have sex with you. And he had sex before. So what we would we were very adventurous, we would do oral all over the place, over theaters, but he would, I would then hear my name all over the fucking football team. And and this is why if I were to have children, I'm like, please abstain from having sex in in high school because again, it's the children and they don't know any better, and children like to talk. So um, not saying that it doesn't happen in college, but definitely more so in high school. Um, so I did have a similar experience to Miss Skittles, not in that particular situation, but hearing your name slandered around um is not fun. Um, and then that also makes you very particular about your partners. So going to embizzle my nizzle for chizzle, I do uh I you're not wrong with guarding your vulnerability. You're not. And but you also I you know I I want you to also understand that there are more positive people in the world than negative people, and it's just your ver your journey of whoing knowing who you are and knowing what you want so that you attract the people that you want. And so just just keep keep an open mind, uh be kind to yourself and know that sex is enjoyable and and sex is is natural, but you want to you want to pick the right person, and you'll know who the right person is when you really know who you are and what you want for your yeah.

SPEAKER_12 1:17:09

I honestly just came into myself as a person. I had so many issues with my self-image growing up as a child. Um, I come from a very diverse background of family. My cousins are Puerto Rican, my cousins Japanese and Puerto Rican and Italian, and it's just I was at one point the blackest person in my family. So I already had that as an issue. Like, why is my hair puffing up, but theirs is all curly and straight, you know, all of that. And then, you know, growing up in the neighborhood that I grew up in, black girls weren't the it girls, it was the Asian girls, it was the white girls, it was the Puerto Rican girls. So I had to deal with that. And then in high school, because I'm gonna double back to you know, Sine's and Miss Skittles experience in high school, my name's Amber Coleman. So, freshman year, I was sexually harassed all freshman year of high school because of that Amber Cole situation where that girl was recorded giving oral in the back of her school. So that's how my freshman year of high school started, with me just being sexually harassed. Then uh sophomore year, it was either sophomore year or junior year in high school where this guy named Kende tried to force me to give him oral. And he tried to guide me in a private place, and I kept having to like get off me. What are you doing? Get off just for the next day for everybody to be looking at me like you're dirty, you're disgusting. He told us what you did. And I was just like, What are you talking about? Like, and the worst part was again, like, I didn't lose my virginity until I was 19, and rumors were being spread about me being this nasty girl from the time that I got into high school at 14 up until about 16, 17, because men, these little boys are disgusting. So I never really got to experience healthy relationships because of you know my self-image of myself, then growing up in an environment where black girls just weren't the it girls, then growing up and having to deal with sexual harassment and assault. So now at 25, now that I'm loving the body that I'm in, now that I'm loving who I am as a person and as a black woman, now I'm finally able to say, This is what I want from a relationship, this isn't what I want. Because, you know, 15, 16, 17-year-old Amber just wanted to fit in and just wanted to assimilate to, you know, the high school culture that I was around. But you know, now I'm just like, nah, fuck that. That shit was corny back then. I hate all of them little niggas that I had to deal with.

SPEAKER_09 1:19:33

Like as you should.

SPEAKER_12 1:19:35

Every day I regret not getting that little boy sent for, every fucking day. Because I just let them harass and assault me, and I didn't speak up for myself. But now that I'm older, I know better and I know what I want better to move forward. But it sucks. That's why when I have kids, if I ever have them, I'm going to teach them so much more outside of you know the normal high school culture because middle school and high school was the most toxic experience of my young adult life. And honestly, public schools are not safe for any child at all.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:08

Private schools aren't any more safe pages. You know, private. Oh yeah. No, for me.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:14

Right there.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:15

Right there.

SPEAKER_12 1:20:16

I also went to a private school, and I could say yes, private school based shit either.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:21

Not even clubs. Not even clubs. They're all because for the uh and not even trying to go into this, but most of the time they send the troublemakers from public school into private school. Into private school. The regular private school people with the troublemakers, and anyway, I ain't going there. Yes. Um, but not to I apologize, I can't really apologize, but it's your turn, an urban nerd, and I know everybody just kind of said all these things, and you you kind of are niggas. So, I mean, you ain't that type of nigga, but you isn't digging. So I'm just, I just I don't want you to be a certain type of way. Um, I mean, she ain't talking about you, you know. Anyway, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:56

Oh, first of all, kids is trash. Like, we we all we all been in school, we just know it. Just just the fact that that happened to you out of the gate, it's it's it's stuff. I I'm right now I'm trying to teach all my students to stop saying female. So I'm having flashbacks on what combos I'm having, just lump. But um, all that to say, I I didn't have like a crazy first time, but also, you know, my girlfriend at the time, she wasn't experienced either. So um we both kind of were still figuring things out. I can say I had had crazy expectations from porn. Um even listening to um Sayane, I kind of like just realized better words to describe it, that I had experiences with porn to the point where, you know, when I first had my sexual first first time having sex, I realized now I wasn't as sensitive because of that. So now I'm realizing like the words to describe it because it was really just kind of like the overexposure to it. So one, I thought that I had to knew it, I had to know everything. So I had to know like from from beginning to end, like like positions, everything else. Like I just thought I had to know all of that because that was the expectation. Um to the point where you know I really did not enjoy my first time. It wasn't really, I think for the good first couple times, kind of like um um Cheney said, like, it really did nothing for me. Like I didn't really climax, didn't really get much. Uh it was kind of just like I did the act. And it was like, alright. Um, and even then, you know, from my from my family, not really, like my my mom scientifically told me everything. Yeah, because in my scientifically, I knew how a baby was made, right? But uh everything else like wasn't really explained as much. So we're talking about, yeah, the vacation, didn't really know much about that. Um when you're talking about like I'm I'm sneaking away at my boy's house, have to sneak like over to my girlfriend's house. So it's it's not like we have a small window, so we we stressed anxiety, and we trying to get this to happen. Um, I had a couple of funny stories though. Um she was she was babysitting one time, um, and of course she's not paying attention to the baby. Baby done rolled off the bed, underneath the bed, crying.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:18

We're freaking out.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:19

Freaking out. No, we're upstairs. No, no.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:21

Oh, thank god. No, we weren't on the bed. But even worse. That's like that, that's like that episode of Tom and Jerry, where the baby's like walking away while the babysitter's on the phone. Literally.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:28

So we can't find the baby. Baby's crying, the baby done fell like behind and underneath the bed, like freaking us both out. Uh because we teenagers and we like she's supposed to be doing a whole job. Um, oh, so saying we experimented with oral sex, and you just throw a glaze over that and move on to the next one.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:46

Yeah, that was that was that was one of the I am now when the story is so trash, when the moment is so trash, you can't even. I don't, I don't, there's nothing else I want to say to that. That was the story. I get you.

SPEAKER_10 1:23:59

Yes, the poor child. I'm really okay.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:07

Well the story.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:10

Hold on, hold on, hold on. The baby rolled off the bed under the bed and behind the headboard.

SPEAKER_09 1:24:24

Is the sound okay? Brandy brain damage, is he okay?

SPEAKER_10 1:24:32

This because I gotta miss no keep, right? Was this after you're engaged or during engagement?

SPEAKER_13 1:24:40

Because if okay, oh it wasn't like mid-stroke, it was like oh I thought I thought you were like hitting it from the back and the baby just like and underneath the back.

SPEAKER_04 1:24:51

Oh my head was not nowhere near the same place. He was hitting mid-stroke and the baby was broke.

SPEAKER_08 1:25:03

Oh my god, my cheeks hurt.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:10

No, not at all. Uh um, as y'all said something else about oral. I remember um, you know, when people are like, oh, you want to try oral? And they're like, well, if you haven't tried it, you can put like you can experiment with like whipped cream or something, right? So we ain't have no whipped cream. No, no, why don't we use peanut butter? Like we're not gonna be.

SPEAKER_09 1:25:32

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:52

So yeah, spiritual was not the greatest. She had all types of stuff to the mouth. But I mean it was funny, I could laugh at it.

SPEAKER_06 1:26:08

She got the gym from Josh.

SPEAKER_11 1:26:10

It must be so triggering to go in the store and look at peanut butter now. It's not gonna be the same.

SPEAKER_05 1:26:16

You you a couple times is very exciting, okay? Exciting because it's a lot, there's a lot going on.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:27

We ain't know no better.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:28

Like oh my god, okay, have a stop.

SPEAKER_10 1:26:32

Oh my god, not the okay, we was in there with the gyms, alright?

SPEAKER_08 1:26:39

Yes.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:39

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:40

Okay. Alright. Okay. That was a lot. We all had great times. Um, I guess I should tell mine really quick before we wrap up. Um, oh, that hurt my face. Oh, so much laughing. See, this is the downside of dimples people. Like, you cannot laugh for a set of period of time. Your chips, cheeks start to flare up, start getting headaches. It's not cool. Anyway, um, so my expectations. Uh okay, okay. So uh, real quick story. So, my dad, part of his like old jobs is he used to work for uh some of the old, like before Blockbuster video cassette companies. So he would like take VHSs across the country, take them to different stores, stuff like that. Um, it's a long story. Anyway, so part of his job is he would get boxes upon boxes of excuse me, leftover VHSs. So we had like an entire wall of VHSs in our house. Of like we had, you know, we had it when it first came out, Lion King, Homeward Bound, all those movies back in the day. There was one tape that was conspicuously put behind all the other tapes. And of course, I'm an explorer by nature, so I found it. And this video, this VHS. Uh was the ABCs upset. It was a lovely, it was a dreadful day, I have to say. Um because all of the individuals, well, all but one, were all um Caucasian. And they were uh, and that's not the issue. The issue was um that they were um hippies, so they were they were um they were like if you for example Sayane was talking about real sex, uh they were at least shaven in certain places or at least trimmed. Nope.

SPEAKER_11 1:28:36

Uh no, not in the 90s, not in the we saw bush, honey. We saw we saw a bush.

SPEAKER_08 1:28:40

No, no, because this young lady had a bush that went up her tummy. Um, yeah, we had we had lumberjacks with hair everywhere. Uh we we had we had some women they were redheads and they didn't match the drapes, did not match the rug, and they were cut and it was this is all in my memory child. Um so you know, these ABC, they're talking about, you know, anal and breast and and what was the C word? C was uh what was C.

SPEAKER_13 1:29:09

Penning lingus? Coitus?

SPEAKER_08 1:29:14

I think it might have been coitus, actually. That might be why I love that word, you know what I think. Um D was for Petis, but D was for Dominatrix. I would love it. No, it was way too plain for that. No, um anyway, that's side the point. So, so from this video, I'm learning about, and mind you, I found this video when I was 10. 10, yes. So, like, from that point, my mind was like, what is okay, all right, okay. And like, from a very young age, uh, you know, growing up in a Nigerian households, because I had aunts and uncles and all types of stuff, the concept, the word on the street was gonna name my accent, keep your pee-pee in your pants. So, being that that was what I was told since the age of four, um, the concept of intercourse was never a thing. But then I see this video and I'm like, wow, look at all the things that are going on here. And they're like explaining, you know, different body parts, and they're explaining, you know, uh uh L's for lesbians. So that was interesting. They had yeah, uh, and they had the two women, but it was funny because it was it wasn't like explaining what they were doing, they were just kind of like hand on breast, hand on face, hand on leg. I was like, oh, so that's what lesbians do. That's that's interesting. Oh yes. Um, so I'm I'm you know, I'm I'm getting all this misinformation. Um, and I I'm like, you know, it was just so funny. Watching all of that, and then you know, eventually you flow into, you know, you know, porn, of course, you know, websites and stuff like that. Uh of course, you know, I didn't have real sex, I had uh the spice channel, but we didn't have the spice channel. It was on that, you know, you change the channel and it's all like garbled, and you see like the pizza man delivering the pizza and then it cuts to the like the inner chords, but you don't really see what's happening, and then you see titties moving up and down. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:25

I turn your head sideways.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:26

Yes, you have to turn your head. Yeah, exactly. Or you have to hold on to the antenna, turn it left clockwise, and then lean backwards so you can see the screen. So that's yeah. I've hated that. Uh not the margin homer, that always traumatized me. Um, so all of that stuff is happening. Uh, and uh, and then you know, eventually, so I there's spice and there's the ABCs of uh uh of sex, and then and then of course like I stumble across like actual porn. So, you know, my first experiences, my expectations were all over the place. I really didn't, I think at that point I was like, I haven't actually seen a black person yet, so I had no expectations because I was like, I grew up in PG County, Maryland, so the the the percentage of me turning into a white person that I wanted to do something with was very low. Same with that one white girl in high school, she wanted me, but everybody was like she had stuff, so I was like, I ain't even gonna go there. That's this whole nother story again. So anyway, um, so it was very low for any of that potential stuff to happen. So I'm like, I have no expectations as it pertains to what could potentially happen. But what I wanted to do was find someone who I could like ask questions and or explore things, but everybody had this guise on where oh I know what I'm doing. And I'm like, So we're gonna play this game. Alright, sure, that's fine. And for like the next let's see, six years just playing the game with people, like, oh, I know what I'm doing, I've been doing it for years, I know how this works, I know how that works. You do just like this, and I was like, Well, that hurts. And you do like this, and oh nope, that doesn't feel good at all. Oh, but you do it like this.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:00

I was like, you have braces, so it's like this whole no braces, this whole kaleidoscope of thing uh going on.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:12

So my expectations were all over the place because from the beginning I didn't have any, but then when you start getting introduced to people who say they know what they're doing, and I I take, I've always said, I give every every new person that I meet, they have a blank slate, blank canvas. They're you know, no nobody new will be impacted by the things of the person from before, whether it's a relationship, whether it's friendship, interaction, whatever. So each new person, they have this new way of saying that this is the way the thing's supposed to happen. I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna base you off the last person, but you're sounding like you're sounding like a broken record. Because you say you know what you're doing, but then it's not working. And it it just got to the point where I like, once I got like older, I just kind of at one point I was desensitized. And not like I didn't feel anything, but it was like the the point of it, not like I got in there, got the job done, and left. It's like literally the point of it was mute. Like I was having it. Don't get me wrong, I was having it, but it was like the the point of it has gone. So I had to find new purpose for sex. It was it was no longer intercourse, it was like I hate to say it, but it was um uh it was not detached. Huh? Detached? No, no, no, detached, detached. Detached was I think detached was in high school. Yeah, I was detached at one point. But then when I got a little bit like 18 going into college, it became like a business. So I had to like operate it like a business. And not even counting myself. I had to interact with a bunch, it's just that's a fun story from the time.

SPEAKER_03 1:34:49

Transactional.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:50

See, and I want to say transactional, but it's transactional when it's like I get something, they get something, right? When it's a business, it's I set up something and everybody else gets a service.

SPEAKER_13 1:35:00

Oh, I'll explain in another episode.

unknown 1:35:03

He is pimping.

SPEAKER_13 1:35:04

Right, right. You see how he's trying to make this shit sound real professional.

SPEAKER_14 1:35:09

I'm sound like it sound like blue and pharaoh. It sounds like blue pharaoh.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:13

Wait, wait, so so you was you was in hoe territory. That was your no.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:19

I wasn't participating. Wait, like I said, it's an episode for a whole nother time.

SPEAKER_07 1:35:26

So anyway, it's like an arms dealer and guns. Like they ain't the ones that really pulled the trigger, but they the ones that put the item out there for everybody else to get.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:36

Oh, so you were yeah, you were the pimp. You were the pimping.

SPEAKER_14 1:35:41

You were the pimp saying it's hard out here for me off.

SPEAKER_08 1:35:50

I'll stop, I'll stop. Um so yeah, no, no, there were different different things that took place. Um, and so my expectations, my honestly, my expectations my the majority of my younger life never met what actually happened. It wasn't until like the last, how am I, let's like seven years where I had expectations and I was trying to actually make them come to fruition. And like I said to uh An Bizzle My Nizzle, uh Lady Tiavani, you know, sometimes you put out a bunch of uh expectations and you get shot on. Uh sometimes literally and figuratively. Uh I don't approve of the first one.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:28

Shat on, spit on, thrown over the fucking that second one isn't too bad.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:33

You have to try it with the right person, but that first one, don't do it. It's nasty. Hey, you gotta hey if you don't have loot, you gotta find it somewhere. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_12 1:36:41

Uh I mean listen, when it comes when it comes down to that, just not in the mouth, just that whole birdie stuff.

SPEAKER_08 1:36:50

Don't knock it till you try it. You gotta find the right person who likes it.

SPEAKER_11 1:36:54

No. I I mean I I I mean, I have to say I like it, you know what I'm saying? But like it just it depends on the person. You can't cute. It depends on the person. Listen, some people have yuck mouth, you can't just do yuck and other. Y'all got me clutching my pearls. Who are y'all?

SPEAKER_07 1:37:13

Let's do this.

SPEAKER_11 1:37:14

Listen, like I've been real PG 13 the entire time.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:18

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:20

I'm into a lot of things, but the bodily fluids think because if you give all, you don't have an issue with that.

SPEAKER_13 1:37:31

Listen, if you like kisses.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:33

There's other ones.

unknown 1:37:34

Right.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:36

If you give all, you got no issues with it.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:39

Fit comes naturally when you kiss it, okay? When it leaves your mouth into mine, like in separated space, absolutely not. We can put it.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:49

It's the same thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:37:50

Uh no, no, it's not separated.

SPEAKER_07 1:37:53

You don't like it when it's like when it's in bulk and force. That's all it is. That's all it is. You don't like it when it's Kabaya Bay form. You just mean you don't like it.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:06

You're right. I don't want I don't want it. I don't want to.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:09

You don't want the fireball for it.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:11

I agree with you. Like, I don't want somebody talking up a loop.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:14

Yeah, I don't want to, I don't I don't want a pumpkin on New York.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:16

Yeah, I don't I don't want to be a big thing.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:17

That's completely different.

SPEAKER_13 1:38:18

Right. You don't want to rev up like no no.

SPEAKER_07 1:38:22

I was gonna I was gonna say, and the reason why I said force, because I was like, if you think about it, she said she doesn't like the action. The active is what somebody actually speaking about. That's force, that's gravity. I was like, she don't like it in a mobile form like that.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:37

Look, that's why I was saying, like, we we we don't want to be like these people back in the day using petroleum jelly. We had to use saliva. I'm just saying it it was a lot more viscous than the petroleum jelly because then it starts creating heat and it's it's just it's bad all around.

SPEAKER_03 1:38:50

You just that's different if it's in your your special place, not in your mouth.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:56

I don't want to we're talking about sex. You can't say this you can't say the place.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:01

Oh, whatever. I want all those places, all in the orphan.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:05

This is an orifice.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:06

I except I said except for my skill of came in and like she was trying to be peaceful. I don't need I don't need that.

SPEAKER_07 1:39:15

I don't need she was trying to it's like that, she was trying to be peaceful, and then all the niggas just out. She was like, like, you know what? Fuck all this.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:24

So it's exactly she was like, no, I'm I'm gonna be respectful, I'm gonna be a teacher.

SPEAKER_05 1:39:31

I'm classy.

SPEAKER_11 1:39:33

I do have a question, uh just a quick question, if you don't mind. How do you guys feel about kissing in formus intimacy? Some people don't like kissing at all. So, like, I want to ask, how do you feel about kissing? And I guess how do you kiss when you know, because there's different this is like the friendship text, like, and then there's like that sex kiss is like one and you got a little bit too much tongue, and it's after at like three seconds, you're like, Oh, okay, chocolate.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:58

But I'm just like let's make these responses as quick as possible because we want to make sure we wrap it up.

SPEAKER_03 1:40:03

So go ahead. Oh, me? Yeah. If we just fucking don't kiss me.

SPEAKER_06 1:40:11

Really?

SPEAKER_03 1:40:13

I'm somebody who who really doesn't like kissing. Like naturally, I don't like it. I feel like it's I feel like it's again, it's a it's a swap of body. Like I'm a bisexual woman. It took me a long time to get used to going down on a woman and being like full of fluid. Like it's like but but um yeah, if if we're just fucking, don't kiss me. I like don't do that. Um if we're being intimate, then I will kiss you. But I have been I have been in full relationships with people and been intimate with them and shared a hundred percent of my energy and hated kissing them. Wow. Interesting, okay. Literally count on one hand individuals that I like kissing.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:03

Okay, fair. Uh the doctor.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:07

Uh real quick though. Uh no, actually, I was gonna say, Dr. Quinzel's back here, like, raise the chats.

SPEAKER_05 1:41:15

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_10 1:41:16

Yes, pretty much putting you and Lady Legacy in a whole nigga mentality category. So the minute you said if we just fucking don't fucking kiss me, I was like, hallelujah. Yes, don't fucking kiss me.

SPEAKER_07 1:41:36

I don't know where you'll go. Don't kiss me. I also like to point out this in our relationship between myself and Dr. Quinn as hell, I have always taken more of the affectionate role in this. And she's always been, nah, we fucking this is a transaction. Fuck this. I got somebody else to do it. She's always been on that mindset. But yeah, that's why I was still saying that she was happy as hell.

SPEAKER_10 1:42:05

Separation of church and state. Like, if you are my fuck buddy, that is what you are. You are nothing else to be like loco. Okay, you are loco. Don't call me, I'll call you. Okay? One nigga had that fucked up one time.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:24

I mean, this is either be in the episode or be on the episode.

SPEAKER_07 1:42:32

All I gotta say is I had to come into this relationship with something that brings the party and have my conversation. Just let everybody know. Now you heard it, yes. That's the nigga. That's a whole nigga. I love that nigga. Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:51

Uh the doctor, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:55

I guess now for me, like, I love kissing. So, you know, if I'm attracted to you, you know, if I want to have sex with you, whether it's a friend of benefits, partner, or one night stand, I want to taste all of you. You know, everything.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:08

Like everybody went, at the same time. Everything.

SPEAKER_00 1:43:14

I'm very, very horrible. So yeah, I love deep kissing, soft, sensual, like all of that. We may we may not ever see each other again, and that's all right, you know, because we had that one night.

SPEAKER_14 1:43:25

So yes, Lord. The doctor is the more line.

SPEAKER_06 1:43:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:32

Um I'll say mine. I'm a split between the doctor and Miss Kittles and probably Sayone. Um, and that's the reason why I say that is because I used to be like the doctor, where it had to happen. Like I enjoyed it every single time. It was great. And then I met somebody who did not know what they were doing. And I'm like, it's one thing to not know what you're doing in Quitus, it's another thing to know that you could like you know when you think you can teach somebody how to kiss? Like, just like how to kiss, you can't. No, and it's like I've you know how you hear like in movies and TV shows? Like, I've had somebody lift my face and I'm like, and and they were trying to kiss me. It wasn't against the it wasn't, it wasn't um, it wasn't a pleasurable type of me lift licking, like it's it just it wasn't, and then their lips were dry. Like, how are you looking my face and then your lips are dry? It doesn't make any sense. Like it's it's counteractive. And then let's not even talk about the fact that you breath stank. So it's like now now it's like track back. And I'm like, oh okay, I guess we're not doing this anymore, because uh let's just get to the action. But then the worst part was you breath stank. So when you started doing oral, now I gotta smell it. So I'm like, oh, now I gotta lean back. Look at me, I don't want to. So it was this, it was this, it was this whole thing. Uh, that's how that happened. So I enjoyed it, but now it's like you you either have to no, it's not even you have to know what you're doing, because you can lie in your resume. It at this time, it's just it has to be the right person. Like, I enjoy it, really. I do. Uh, I really enjoy it, but it has to be the right person. I I can't just can't just be giving out all the lushes, can't just be doing that. Um, yes. Uh I forgot who was next. Uh entrepreneur, go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:13

Yeah, it kept getting worse the more you explained. Uh it's a bad man.

SPEAKER_09 1:45:20

Um you can't have palatoshis if you're sucking my dick. Yeah, you can't do that. You can't.

SPEAKER_08 1:45:25

Oh, I gotta be laying on the bed then because then I just the smells go up, you know, baby. Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 1:45:34

Um sadly, like, yeah, I I would say say something for that. Um, I'm not I'm not as far as that. I have that bad of an experience, but I do I do enjoy kissing. I enjoy kissing. I also enjoy kissing people's body. Um, I just realized I really enjoy that, but I also understand that for some people that is very intimate and they're like, you can't even be doing this, and this is just like a casual thing. So I I'll become much more selective about who I do that with, but I enjoy it, but I feel like I can I can do that casually because I just really enjoy that again, being a free. Um same, same with kissing. I don't mind kissing. I had I had one time because I think I heard from someone talking about having sex without kissing, and I did it, and I was like, I would never do that shit. I I felt like an asshole, I felt like a jerk. Um, even afterwards, I was like, I will never do that again in my life. Um, so I feel like if I if I am going to intervene someone, I was like yeah, I enjoy kissing. I understand not everyone enjoys that. Um, so I also try to try to mediate that. And also, yes, I've had people with dry lips, and like some people just got wet mouths, too wet mouths. And so you you you also gotta, you know, yeah, yeah. So it's it's I gotta I gotta test the water first. Um, but yes, I I do enjoy kissing. Wet mouth. Woo!

SPEAKER_08 1:46:55

Yep mouth.

SPEAKER_05 1:46:56

Oh god, it's the worst, though.

SPEAKER_08 1:46:58

I didn't wear, I did, I don't wear lip gloss. What happened?

SPEAKER_03 1:47:01

Wet mouth, no, it's not even a lip gloss thing. I feel like wet mouth is worse than dry mouth.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:06

Like no, that's what I'm saying. Like, none of us came into this with lip gloss. Why am I feeling the lushes? I don't understand.

SPEAKER_03 1:47:13

Like, if I can smell look, if I can smell the snit on your other lip after you kiss it, bro.

SPEAKER_08 1:47:18

I have a mustache. That smell stays here. I don't want it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47:22

What's this at the corner of your mouth? Why is there why is there extra snip at the corner head?

SPEAKER_08 1:47:27

I'm sorry. Uh, and this will lady Gi of it.

SPEAKER_12 1:47:31

So um, I think when it comes down to kissing, I am still under the guise of confusion, but so what had happened was um basically my situation with losing my virginity, he was my first love, and I did, you know, kiss in high school, but I wasn't really able to because of again the rumors spreading about me in high school. So I really wasn't able to get that, you know, kissing and and being cute and being in relationships in high school. But um, for me, my first love allowed me to experiment with sexuality and things that I wanted from sex. So, you know, we started off really being romantic and things like that, but then we kind of eased into just being friends with benefits. But even though we're only friends of benefits, like there's no romantic part about our relationship, I still enjoy kissing. Um, to me, it's just enjoyable, you know. To me, especially now that I know like kissing a man can make his dick jump, I I love doing it.

SPEAKER_08 1:48:32

Um it's fun for that, but okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:48:37

Um it's fun for me to to get that type of reaction. And like because I'm in a safe space with my sexual partner, I'm able to experiment and I'm able to experiment with his body and figure out his spots and what he likes as well. So for me, kissing is is not kissing is no longer under romance to me because I'm I'm in a casual space, but it's something that I personally still enjoy and I don't align with romantic feelings with it, so I just I still do it. But also the weird part about it is I don't do it with just anybody. Like this person I built a relationship with the past couple of years, we built comfortability and and a level of trust. And so for me, if a guy takes me out and you know, we've been on a couple of days and he's trying to kiss me goodbye, I'm gonna pull the giraffe and be like, I'll be like, don't do that. Um but that's just because, like, for right now, because I'm exploring my sexuality, because I am trying to figure myself out, I'm doing that with just one person. You know, I'm not comfortable with you know copying and pasting that to different relationships and different people. So I just I just stick to what I know for right now, and when I'm able to open up, like we've been talking about for me, for me to open up and really try to let people in, that's when I'll decide. Just you know explore more kissing and more romantic things and more intimacy. But for right now, I'm comfortable and it's just I just I can't kiss everybody.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:09

So agree. Okay. And uh Sayonee, wrap it up, please.

SPEAKER_11 1:50:14

Yes, um, I love kissing, but to piggyback off of what uh Energy was saying that not everybody um yeah, like not ever and you, Suchi, not everyone can kiss well. And for me, it's such a big disappointment. I I don't I don't toot my horn on a lot of things, but I'm a pretty damn good kisser. I I'm I I I kiss very well, so it's very annoying when I'm like, oh, yeah, but they kiss the one. I'm like, oh, they're trash. They're a trash.

SPEAKER_08 1:50:44

You gotta try to meet them halfway on how bad they are.

SPEAKER_11 1:50:46

Uh when there's too much saliva. So okay, so with me and saliva, and now I I can I'll wait, I'll very quickly go into the kink scene. Um I am I am the more of like a dominant switch. So with a part of me and kissing, it's more so like I love to be worshipped. And so the person that the person that is worshipping me, so to speak, they letting me know that they want all of me. So it could be I'm not even fucking though. Like I'm going to drip my slide in your mouth, and that's enough for you to get off. And and and they love it, like you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_08 1:51:23

Like, it's eyes.

SPEAKER_11 1:51:25

Are you a dominatrix?

SPEAKER_12 1:51:28

You know, but again, I don't know.

SPEAKER_08 1:51:29

DC by trade, no.

SPEAKER_12 1:51:31

Are you a dominatrix?

SPEAKER_11 1:51:32

Because like, girl, you you you got the vibe for it. Um I like I like people knowing the Velma effect of me. A lot of people actually don't know that side, but then the people the people who know, no. Like, I definitely uh was active on Fat Life for a while. I actually had a breakaway because I didn't want people to correlate how I was on Fet Life to my cosplay. So I I people don't even recognize me, thankfully, anymore. Kind of, but some people and then you said it on a podcast. Okay, yeah, I keep on podcasts, but like I had I had a whole different lifestyle. That was and that was my exploration and it was a lot of fun. But I definitely was a mommy dom and saliva was a big part of it, and that was fun for me when it comes into like a relationship. Um, kissing is very important because that is showing me that you want me. It doesn't have to be sloppy kisses, but sloppy kisses means sex to me. So if you if you're giving me saliva, just no, we're about to kiss, you know, so um, but for me, um, yes, I when I get back pick it back up uh off of urban earth an urban nerd, I've noticed that men love being kissed on their neck and on their body. And I feel like there's a lot of intimacy that is neglected with men and male presenting people. And I think because more so in society, it's taught that the man should give and not really receive that same intimacy that you give. And I've noticed that there's such a big renaissance of sexual emotion and feeling when I can give that same aspect to a man or to a male presenting figure, like you know, I'm kissing your neck and all of your body and and even touching places that are not necessarily sexual, like your stomach or your back or your spine, and they're like, oh my god. But I will I'll I'll stop.

SPEAKER_08 1:53:19

But anyway, I'm just I was just gonna say I was gonna say the the main part of what I feel like is the main part about that, and it goes along with what you said, is the fact that because most male presenting figures, the concept isn't for them to be pleased in those types of ways, there are areas that aren't touched at all. So, you know, that's why in certain like the main areas are I don't say they lose sensitivity, but they they become overworked because that's all that's being touched, you know, the dick, the the the face, stuff like that. But then but then when you start touching the other areas when it's unexpected, you're you're probably gonna get one of three reactions. Either one, hey, don't do that shit, because it's it's unnerving. Two, the fuck is that? But I like that. I like that if you're curious, or three, because you're already on the other side of curiosity, you're like, ooh shit. So those are gonna be your three reactions. Yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 1:54:19

I tell I tell people, oh I'm sorry, I'm like, don't fuck on the neck. That's the go button. Don't fucking make it back. So serious, don't tell me, don't come over and say you don't want to have sex with people. Then you're gonna be in the sexual one. I'm um comfortable with my sexuality. I I love being little swimming. I have no problem being that. Titties on my back and it's warm. Like, what? Like, I'm good. But like men, like you said, men usually don't feel like they can express that. But yes, shout out to shout out to the PG Play.

SPEAKER_08 1:54:50

Lady Giovanni.

SPEAKER_12 1:54:51

So I will say, um, that is one of the reasons why me and my friends of benefits work so much. Because it's like I found out something about me, which is I like to get my partner revved up. Like I get a kick out of seeing my partner squeal. So it's like what I learned from men is that they don't get their necks touched enough. Um, with nipple play, it depends on the on the man, you know, because nipples, a lot of men can be sensitive about that, like feel like, oh, I'm not a woman, don't touch that. Or they'll be like, whoa, what is that? You know, um, the stomach area. Yeah, you gotta know where to kiss, what to kiss. Um, that little area between their stomach and their thighs. That is that is the gold chest, gold spot right there.

SPEAKER_06 1:55:44

Yeah, I'm not lying.

SPEAKER_08 1:55:46

Hey, hey, hey, don't encourage this.

SPEAKER_12 1:55:50

But what I enjoy from my partner is that he gives me full range to explore his body. I still have to teach him how to explore my body because this nigga acting like it's Jenga over here and he don't know where he's. Do better. Right, do better. But I was able to do that, and because of that, it makes sex more enjoyable for me because I get a kick out of pleasure in my partner. Like, I get a kick out of big, yeah, seeing them squeal, seeing them beg like don't stop or stop. You know, it's just I get a kick out of that now. But I think more men need to be open about their spots and be more open to having their spots pleasured because it makes sex more enjoyable for them as well. Like, stop being a bitch, you know, let people touch your nipples and neck and enjoy sex.

SPEAKER_03 1:56:37

That's what I was that's what I was thinking about being adventurous. Like, I am so glad Lady Gi andy touched on the nipple play because there are men out when I say that second reaction, I love them.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:50

Oh, wait, like maybe like hope wait.

SPEAKER_09 1:56:53

That was the second reaction, I tell you.

SPEAKER_04 1:56:56

Every time I feel like I like that. Yeah, you did bitch. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:57:04

You get a second reaction, everybody turns into uh Silly. Is that how it goes?

SPEAKER_11 1:57:10

But you you know, Miss Skittles, and I think when going back to the very beginning about consent, and in the King World, we talk about um hard limits and soft limits. Yes, and you can have hard limits where it's like some people, um male, female presenting, um, man or woman, doesn't matter, they do not like to be touched analyz at all. And that's just it has nothing. It could be about how they were brought up, it could be breaking mental barriers, um, traumatic barriers, but some people just really don't like it. Like they had like I'm not not into it, but some people they really like it, some people they don't even know. So I'm a huge advocate about having conversations about sex in the very beginning. We don't it doesn't mean we have to even engage, but I want to know mentally where where where are you? Because I know where I am, but I need to know where you are. Um, Talon, he was supposed to be on this podcast, but it's been a very interesting journey about him because he was vanilla, but always wanting to be into the kink world. And so I would have conversations with him in the beginning because he never had that chance to explore that in his past relationships. They were very vanilla relationships. I'm like, what do you like? What porn do you watch? What don't you like? What are things that you turn, you know? Like, are you okay with me like touching your nipples? He's like, okay, he's very okay about everything. So, like, are you okay? How about this? He's like, no, I'm not really into that. Like, so he'll tell me what he likes, what he doesn't like, and then what Miss uh Ambizl, my nizzleful shizzle was saying, you can't copy and paste um that that rubric with everyone else. And and it's hard, especially when you know you could be with somebody, a play partner, you had fantastic sex with, but it might not correlate that in your relationship. And you're like, I love this person, but they might not give me specifically what I had as a play partner. So you have to be able to to to give time for people to learn as well. Because not everybody is gonna be that person that had you squeal squealing, so to speak, as Ann Bizzle was saying. Um, but but that the person you're in a relationship with can give you something else that that you too can learn. So it's just kind of um giving grace and time with people that are not necessarily on your level because Ann Bizzle, you obviously on that level that your partner is not, which is which is powerful and powering. And and if girl, you might be a damn dom. I like that shit.

SPEAKER_08 1:59:26

I knew she was gonna bring you in. I knew it. I was trying to stop it before it happened. I knew she was gonna do it.

SPEAKER_11 1:59:31

We might need to talk, but uh, but yeah, so uh conversation and in the very beginning, don't wait until it's like a year into the relationship to have these conversations because sex and and sexual education is key and normal, and and it's really is about learning who you are. Don't wait until you're in year one to engage in sex because it might not even be what you want. And sex is very, very important. Like if you can't feel that intimate connection with someone, really there's not much of a point if you if you like to have sex, you can be asexual and not want that either. So it's just really having these conversations on what you like, what you don't like, and seeing if it mur if it is along your lines of what you want as well.

SPEAKER_03 2:00:14

Oh, I'm so glad. I'm so glad she wrapped it up like that because that would have made a wrap up. Um, because I was gonna finish on consent, but yeah, uh, I I couldn't have said it in any better. Um remember fries. Remember fries. Like Sayon said, Um, I I feel like she said it perfectly. Like, you know, you have to have these conversations in the beginning. Um, and you are remember this is a this is a human being. You're exploring each other, you're exploring your body, you're exploring, you know, feelings, so to speak, physically, mentally, emotionally, all that stuff matters when you're having sex with someone.

unknown 2:00:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:00:54

All right. Thank you, panelists. This was a fun time. This is actually a lot of fun. This is probably one of the most fun episodes we've had since like the uh uh the 90s uh tournament. This is really good. Um so um what did I get from that? The wrap-up is as the brat said back in the 90s and into the 2000s, what you like, a whole lot of floor play right before you get it started. What do you like? Me on top, you with a kind of thick body. Like you just have to ask us questions, consent, and then you'll get what you want. Or, you know, you can be like a Sayonet, Miss Skittles, and Ambizle, and you know, just tell them what you want. Anyway, uh, yeah. So thank you, panelists, for being thank you, Rabik. Well, this episode, uh, thank you for being able and open and willing to talk about this topic. We will have many more topics because, like I said, I took notes. Uh, so there's a lot of uh uh branches uh that we can pan down as it pertains to some of these topics. So I'm really excited for what the rest of 2023 and on have for us as it pertains to, you know, talking about sex. Uh so as always, let me give you all the opportunity to let people know how you can be reached, how you can be found, how you can be well, this is a very sensitive episode, so please let's try not to use these social media hashtags and at as a means for you to engage in coitus. Thank you very much. That's fine. Uh, starting with the doctor, how can you be reached in a non-sexual way? Thank you. Oh, non-sexual. Hmm.

SPEAKER_00 2:02:24

Uh fine. How can you be reached? Rod RT on Facebook.

SPEAKER_08 2:02:32

See, I gotta give the content. Uh Miss Skittles, how how would you like to be reached and for what?

SPEAKER_03 2:02:38

Uh um preferably non-sexual, but if you if you willing to try. Um Miss Uh Skittles Cosplay, uh, well, M Z Skittles T-R underscore cosplay on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok, and on Twitter, it's in I Z Skittles2K02.

SPEAKER_08 2:03:07

Shammy B, how can you be reached? I'm assuming non-sexual since you got a wife and she will cut a bitch.

SPEAKER_07 2:03:14

I will try it if you want to. If you try to see the other side, call me now. Um, you can actually um I don't personally, uh really have any social reading reach me in cocaine biceps, uh most most everything. Cocaine biceps 87. I'm sorry, shampoo. That's the other one. I took the gummy, I fucked up. Uh shampoo bracelets. Uh on Instagram and Twitter. And then really, y'all want to hit uh Blur Creations Up. Say that one right. Blur Creations Up on Instagram and Twitter. Uh that's my wife, Dr. Quinzel's business could say name. But um, yeah, you can find like different shirts and uh different art pieces. She's actually starting to get more into some other stuff, so look out for that in the future.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:03

Uh Sayone cosplay.

SPEAKER_11 2:04:05

Hello, Sayone Cosplay on Facebook, Sayone underscore cosplay on IG, Sayone period cosplays at gmail.com. If you have any questions about cosplay and about kink, you can ask. So yeah.

SPEAKER_08 2:04:20

And bezzle my nizzle, lady Giovanni.

SPEAKER_12 2:04:24

Um, well, nobody come to me for anything sexual. Those those doors are closed with. But if you if you want to platonically hit me up, uh it is fw underscore the pink dream. Um also if you're into I'm I'm just gonna do a shameless plug because I have no shame. Um, I am going to start foot modeling. So if you're into that, also okay, King!

SPEAKER_08 2:04:56

Yes, love and this is the right time to give that plug, actually. So I'm not mad. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_11 2:05:02

I said nail polish donations, foot jewelry.

SPEAKER_12 2:05:04

Yes, there's an extra charge if you want a certain color, you know, personalized videos, extra charge. Um, if you want to follow my foot page, it's going to be uh Pink Kitty Paws. Pink Kitty on Instagram. What? So Pink Kitty Paws, make sure you follow.

SPEAKER_08 2:05:22

Excellent. I I I you already know I love this person who creates a business for themselves. Brilliant. Um and Urban Nerd.

SPEAKER_01 2:05:29

I I just had to say real quick, Giovanni, you know that you got your manager already on the phone, right? Oh, we did it. Uh yeah, you can find me on, you know, anywhere streaming and Urban Nerd, all one word, like a tribe called Quest or a pimp name slickback. Um it's on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, uh, all those things. And now that I'm a podcaster now, inspired by the Nerd Spectrum, um, you can also find us on Purpose uh with my partner Andrew Chip. Um and he'll actually be dropping a new episode soon.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:04

So and of course, myself, Suchi knows Shogun. That is Suchi underscore no underscore shogun. Suchi is spelled T S U C H I on Instagram. Your York, you can also find me on Umbral Starcade on most platforms if you want to book us for your party, special events, or corporation track training purposes. Uh Umbral Starcade on Instagram, Facebook, uh, Twitter, Twitch, YouTube. There's one more place, but it's irrelevant.

SPEAKER_10 2:06:35

Uh and then of course mailbag.

SPEAKER_08 2:06:39

Right. Um, as um Shami B said, Blur Creations, I'll say it again, uh, on Instagram, uh, Facebook, Blur Creations Shop, uh, as well as TikTok. Uh, and then of course, uh Blurred Creations, we have a new line of everything coming out. Uh, we will be, I I I finally have to give up, and uh uh our our fabulous creators are going to uh make some more kink inspired uh uh clothing uh coming soon to you. Oh my let that happen. Um go ahead.

SPEAKER_07 2:07:13

She's she was waiting for you to say this. She's very happy right now.

SPEAKER_08 2:07:18

She is I know I said fine. I've stopped the presses. I've no, I've started the presses. They will now be started, and y'all will see some things, bangs actually, uh, up in the store very, very soon. Um and then um also uh what else? Oh, yeah, the podcast. Um the Blur Spectrum Podcast on Instagram, Facebook, uh, I think we're on Twitter, uh, and YouTube, of course, uh, which is where you can see a lot of our content from different conventions, different events we've been to. Um, we have a lot of you know different topics coming up this year. We're really excited. You will catch us at um uh some upcoming conventions. Uh hopefully soon you'll catch us at OdaCon. Uh well some of us will be Oda Cons, I'll just say it like that. Uh, and then uh hopefully you'll catch us at Burricon as well, and then uh some you know more conventions in the near future. Uh other than that, uh yeah, all I can say is thank you, each and every one of you, for listening. Thank you, each and every one of you for here for talking. Yes, thank you for thank you for being here.

SPEAKER_09 2:08:26

Uh as I always say, Sayonada.

SPEAKER_14 2:08:30

Bye. Bye.