SPEAKER_08 0:00

Welcome back to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast, everyone. We have been out for quite some time. The life has been life and the math has not been mathing. People thought they had chemistry, and they definitely were in a biology set. So it's just been a lot of stuff going on that we've been trying to figure out over here on the spectrum, the different variety colors of the spectrum. But today we were trying to nail down specific topics and we we happened upon one and we're just gonna run with it. Balls to the wall or ovaries to the ovary. Anyway, so no, no, Miss Kittles. So uh our episode today is about relationships. No, that's not true. It's actually about relationship experiences. Uh, we have uh a variety of different panelists today, and each and every one of us have had varying levels of relationship experiences, um, from long-term relationships to short relationships, relationships that uh survived years, others that ended in more mere minutes, um uh with everybody from different shades to different races, different genders to everything. So we're gonna talk a little bit about it. Uh, hopefully, this becomes a series of episodes that we do in the future. Uh, but of course, as always, I must introduce our panelists starting with myself, uh Suchi New Shogun. Uh, we uh your moderator. Then we have the 2023 villainess of the year, the winner and proprietor of this delicatessant Miskittles, aka Dabionet.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

Hello, hello. Wow.

SPEAKER_07 1:50

I told you, I was gonna do it.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

You told me, but I completely forgot. So here we are.

SPEAKER_08 1:57

Oh, thanks to Plus Ultra Entertainment for crowning uh this uh phenomenal cosplayer in all her glory. Um, also we have Miss uh uh uh uh Doctor, sorry, Rebecca Quinzel or Rebecca Quinn. Uh what's up?

SPEAKER_02 2:18

How y'all doing?

SPEAKER_08 2:20

A lot going on in my background today. A lot going on in your background. I also believe we have somewhere nearby Lady Legacy.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

What's happening, help me?

SPEAKER_08 2:29

And then I think not too far away from there, we might have Shammy B.

SPEAKER_06 2:34

Yo.

SPEAKER_08 2:36

And then, of course, we have uh the one and only who doesn't always like to make appearances, but when she does, she gives amazing uh uh feedback. Uh, Lady Giovanni, did I say that right?

SPEAKER_03 2:49

Hola, yes, hola, como estás?

SPEAKER_08 2:53

All right, so like I said, relationships, experiences. Did you love them? Did you hate them? Did you just get with them for the money? Let's talk about those different topics. So, uh, let's start off with uh asking our panelists what they believe is uh a core trait for a relationship? What is something that is necessary for a relationship to work? What is a key potentially to your favorite relationship, current relationship, best relationship? Um, because like I said before, we don't have a bunch of married couples, we have a married couple, a bunch of singles. Cha cha cha. But everybody's got different levels of experience. So what do you think? What is one of your number ones necessary for a good or positive or beneficial relationship? And we will start with Miss Kipps.

SPEAKER_04 3:45

Um, I think I think everybody should know this one, and I think it should be everybody's number one, but it's it's fucking communication, dog. Like the ultimate, like how how do you even start a relationship unless you're communicating with that person? Like when you have a when you have an open dialogue and transparency about who you are, what your expectations are, and and how that's going to you know blasten and move forward with this individual, that person also has to communicate with you. That's uh that's another key thing. You can't just be like telling them what you want and then having that expectation, they just gonna do it. Uh, and then when they don't do it, you'd be upset. If they didn't communicate, they was gonna do it then. But, anyways, um, number one, communication for me, like yeah, is it literally the the reason or how you start a relationship, whether whether and and we're gonna get into this a little bit on this because I because I want to bring it up. But there's also levels to relationship, levels to it, but anyways, um yes, communication before I go on a tangent.

SPEAKER_07 5:06

Uh Dr. Rebecca Quinn, what do you think?

SPEAKER_08 5:10

I mean, I'm sure you'll uh piggyback off of the communication, but what is also a factor that you would uh associate with a positive or beneficial relationship?

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Um the ability to respect one another and to learn, actually take the time to learn one another.

SPEAKER_08 5:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Um, I think that's important because you know you how you hear, oh well, I didn't know you played video games, or I didn't know you read all this. So it's just you need to learn your partner so that way maybe you can uh enjoy what they feel like is a relaxation tool. I think I've said this before on a different episode, but definitely trying communication and learn taking the time to learn one another. That is hugely important. That way you don't have miscommunications.

SPEAKER_08 6:01

Okay, see, I knew he was gonna stack. I knew he was gonna stack it. Um, and Bizzle, my nizzle, uh Lady Giovanni. What do you feel is a factor that can make a positive or beneficial relationship?

SPEAKER_03 6:20

Um, what can make a positive relationship is self-awareness. Um not everybody has it, and a lot of people, a lot of people are under their own delusion. And so because of that, you know, I've what I've noticed and what I've experienced is it causes complications within a relationship because when you try to point out somebody and what they're doing, if they're doing something wrong, if they're communicating wrong, if they don't see that as wrong, if they think that they're the best communicator, if they believe that they're they're the best that they could be, they're going to leave the relationship stagnant. You know, people aren't a lack of self-awareness, breeds um stunted growth, basically. So I feel like the moment where you can get outside of yourself and beside yourself, that's when you can really contribute to a healthy relationship.

SPEAKER_08 7:15

No, 100% agree. I definitely agree on that. Uh okay. Since she's drawn attention to herself, um, Lady Legacy, and keep in mind, you're on this is a podcast of people. Um, what would you say is a factor, a a uh a benefit, a something that you need inside of a a positive relationship?

SPEAKER_01 7:41

Well, never for real. Uh I think being understanding.

SPEAKER_08 7:50

Okay, that's a PV. Okay, escape.

SPEAKER_01 7:52

Like shit. But understanding in the fact that you don't have to agree with everything, but I just want to be understood. This is what I'm heard. I want to be heard. There we go. Being heard. Like I want you when I tell you something, you understand this is what type time I'm on. I want you to understand that sometimes I have to be by myself and you have to understand that this is not about you, it's more about me in that type of space. But having we don't have to agree on everything either, because we are two different people to two different minds. And sometimes I'm not gonna agree with all your choices, but I understand why you got there. You feel me? Because we're on all different planes of how we either grow up or how we interpret things and values and stuff like that. But I understand why you got to this conclusion. I just don't agree, which is fine. But if you don't understand me, then I don't know how we can even try to move forward because that doesn't, yeah. I feel like you're not hearing me now because that that's its own kettle of fish that nobody wants to eat. So yeah.

SPEAKER_08 8:59

Okay. Um if I was to pick a factor, um, my factor would be trust. And trust can be derived from uh, in my opinion, every single one of the aspects that our panelists have said so far. Um, you know, I can there's there's it's funny. I I've I went to an expo yesterday and we were they were talking about a bunch of different um means of different levels and different types of relationships, coincidentally. And what I picked up from a lot of the conversation is for a lot of the different things that happen in relationships, you have to have, oh, these two, you have to have a level of trust. Um uh you you have to trust when you are communicating with your partner that they're telling you the truth. You have to trust your significant other will be able to hear you so they can understand you. You have to trust your significant other to be able to take on and explore different nuances in your relationship. If your relationship is just service level and you and and and you don't trust them at all, there's no way you can be friends with your significant other. There's no way you can say you really know that person. You can be around them for years and years and years. But if you don't trust them, if there's always a a doubt in your mind about one of their actions or one of the things that they want or can do, then it makes it impossible, in my opinion, my opinion, it makes it impossible for you to make certain decisions, to communicate wholeheartedly, to really be their friend, to really understand them. Because at the end of the day, if I don't trust that you are your authentic self, you are who you say you are, then everything about you is you're one of the fish in the kettle of fish. It don't like you you're just another person, and you know, they say there's you know another fish in the sea. Okay, keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Um, yeah, no, not for me. So uh that's my thought process is trust. Um is uh Sham B anywhere nearby to throw out a word.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Um, he is uh indisposed right now.

SPEAKER_08 11:23

No problem, he'll he'll chime in eventually. Okay. So, you know, if all of these factors, all of these particular words, um, are necessary for a relationship, what would you say? Uh oh, okay, good question. Let me let me actually step away from that for a moment and go in this direction. Um, ladies, what would you say is your biggest, and this is gonna be funny, red flag for a relationship. And this can be something that you've encountered or something that you absolutely have avoided because you refuse. Um, and you know who I want to start with? Dr. Legacy.

SPEAKER_07 12:05

What's your red flag, brother?

SPEAKER_01 12:14

My red flag? I'm trying to sift through them. I'm sorry. It's categories and subsections and post-it notes and red flags.

SPEAKER_08 12:22

What's at the top of your Pilimanjaro at the top of your Everest? What's that flag that's peaked or stabbed into the peak of that mountain?

SPEAKER_01 12:34

Assuming that I need you. Yep, that gives because when you have that type of arrogance about you, that's a complete turn off. Because if you have that because some people with that type of blessing that you are actually needed by someone, they don't take it for granted. But when you assume that I need you with arrogance, you act as if you you literally think, I cannot live without you. She's not going nowhere. No, like that's that's that's a that's a that's a hot button no. Like you say, oh nobody else wants you. Actually, that's not true. I want me so much, it's great. I love me some meat. But yeah, that's the arrogance of thinking I need you. Because someone who appreciates that will nurture that. You will see the gifts of me needing you in certain capacities that you know, whatever, whatever. Sure, I can survive and all this stuff. But if I need you for certain things and you make me feel like I'm wanted and all the other stuff, it's great. But that arrogance of like I can do whatever the fuck I want, she's gonna come back anyway. No, no, no, no, no. No matter, not me. Nope, can't do it.

SPEAKER_08 14:00

Miss Skittles, you seem you you seem to resonate with that a little bit.

SPEAKER_04 14:07

Because arrogance um is is one of the like it's like in the little umbrella of all of bullshit that encompasses um a narcissist. And whenever I hear certain things, um when I'm having conversations with people that I'm getting to know, um, there are certain things that I'll ping upon. And and when when they all all of those things come together as a collective and I label you a narcissist, it is it is my red flag. It is the it is that will have me running, okay? Like if if I'll literally have conversations with people and they'll say certain things and I'll be like pinning it, and then we'll keep calling, you know, certain things will happen. I'm like pinning that, and then and then as it as it continues to go on, I'll be like, ah, big picture. Narcissism. Okay, wonderful. Well, it was nice, you know, it was a pleasure talking to you and getting to know you, um, and you not getting to know me and how you and all the you know, all these you things is it's not as wonderful. You have a wonderful life, okay? I I don't be a part of it, obviously. So yeah, do you, boo? Narcissistic behavior is a huge red flag for me. Um, like you know, you see everybody has that, you know, that confidence factor, but there's a difference between cocky and confident. There's a difference between um arrogance and whatever the opposite of that is. I mean, it's there's just there's just things that stand out with a narcissist that are just a little bit too much of something. So yeah, narcissism is a whoo if you have tendencies, don't don't make them a collective because I'm not collecting.

SPEAKER_05 16:28

I have a red flag.

SPEAKER_08 16:31

Narcissistic tendencies, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Okay. And Bizzle, Lady Giovanni, what would you say is one of your red flags that you've identified?

SPEAKER_03 16:44

Um, I'd say one of my red flags is not respecting boundaries.

SPEAKER_07 16:49

Ooh.

SPEAKER_03 16:50

Um, so I just had this conversation with the guy I told you guys about earlier. Um, the issue is people like to challenge people's boundaries. And that is where disrespect comes in. Because if somebody says, hey, I don't I don't like it when you don't take your shoes up at the door and you and you try to say, Well, I want my shoes on, you're not respecting that person's boundary and you're not respecting that person's house. So my thing is if I cannot give you a boundary and you respect that and also not try to challenge that, that's a huge red flag for me. Um not to get too deep and too morbid, but you know, just a simple just knowing simply that if we get in the midst of, you know, after our time and booty call hours and quite us, and and I decide, you know what, no, I don't want to do this anymore. That boundary needs to be respected. You know, so things like that, I've actually cut off men who I've had to tell, like, don't touch me, and they still touch me. Like, you know, you think just a slight tap of the finger or hand on my body is just like not that serious, but that's a red flag, and that shows me that in the future, if I tell you not to do something else, then you may challenge me. And so for me, it's it's boundaries, it's it's something that means a lot to me. So, why are you arguing? Why are you trying to refute it? Why are you trying to challenge it? So that's my red flag.

SPEAKER_08 18:24

Okay, mine is gonna be a big one. My red flag is when I ignore red flags. Thank you. That's my TED talk.

SPEAKER_03 18:40

We're in the same boat. We're in the same boat.

SPEAKER_08 18:43

Yep, yep, yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Uh, if I if you get to a point where things that are, I don't want to say obviously, but things that are let's do it like this. If you get to a point where you can identify a red flag for a friend or a family member or somebody else, but that same thing for some apparent reason you have denied in your own situation, that is my red flag, is I can point it out when other people are in the midst of it, but I've I'm refusing to shine that light on myself, or I'm refusing to call a spade a spade. Like, no, no, no, no, no. If that person is gaslighting your friend and is saying all these things to your friend, you tell your friend, don't take that, why are you still with them? Yet you're in the exact same boat, you throwing stones from a glass house, in my opinion, that's a red flag. And you don't recognize the red flags until you're in a situation where you're like, Oh my gosh, I don't, I shouldn't be dealing with this. But I love them. I can't just leave. They need me. Why should I go anywhere? Go ahead, Miss Goodlead.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Did you call out uh your own red flag?

SPEAKER_08 19:54

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 19:57

That that wasn't the question.

SPEAKER_08 19:59

It wasn't, you're correct.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

The question is, what is your red flag for somebody else? Because none of us called out our own red flag. You are correct, and I think that's a good idea, right? But you're not following directions. You're not following directions.

SPEAKER_05 20:22

Jacob may be maybe protective.

SPEAKER_02 20:24

You're not listening. No, no, no, no. You're not listening to your own self.

SPEAKER_08 20:30

Listen to what I'm saying. But listen to what I'm saying. Like I the reason why I'm calling out my red flag is because I've been in relationships and I've been in situationships where there have been immense um a lot and accumulation of red flags. Numerous red flags. And the issue isn't the fact that I don't see the red flags. The issue is that I what's the word? Not ignore, tolerate, and accept the red flags. So, and in numerous situations, it's this it's almost close to uh uh Lady Giovanni's boundaries. I thought I was setting boundaries, but I was allowing boundaries to be pineapples penetrated. And because right, and because of that, I caused the biggest red flag of them all, which is being complacent and letting it happen. Now, if I was to choose from the immense uh uh list, it would definitely be the boundary one because for years I've thought I was setting boundaries, and certain individuals would open the gate and walk right through, and I would just say, ah, this is them being them. Come on in. Like just pretty much. So, yeah, I would definitely agree with Lady Giovanni. Uh boundaries and and being incapable of uh of respecting said boundaries would be a uh massive red flag that I didn't even know I had until a couple years ago. Uh, yes. Uh Uh Dr. Rebecca Quinn. Your uh red flag.

SPEAKER_02 22:05

Okay, I have like two.

SPEAKER_07 22:06

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Um, one is stupidity.

SPEAKER_07 22:12

Oh Lord.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Um because if you're stupid, I can't trust you because you're just not gonna use your brain to think when you're out. Um, I've literally had an ex like go to a strip club and let's just say he left with the stripper. Um, so stupidity. You you you didn't think about that whole situation, and then my my roommate was his best friend. So you told her thinking it wasn't gonna get back to me. You just didn't think about this full circle. You didn't you you didn't you didn't think about this correctly? What? Yeah, mm-hmm. It was this was during college. Um stupid. See? I don't like to call about that. That nigga was dumb as fuck. Like he he couldn't he wouldn't tell me, but he told my roommate, which was his best friend. Made no sense to me. Like, I I thought we were dating, not me, you, and my roommate. Um, and the other one was is being controlling. I don't I don't like to be controlled. Shammy B will tell you I have issues with authority. Um, so yeah, you trying to be controlling and control me. I I can't. Like BK you, you'll get the other side of me. I've watched friends be in controlling relationships, and like I'm not the friend to be like, hey, go break up with that person, but I'm also like, I need you to reassess the situation. Like, I for example, I had a friend that was dating a guy that she got back involved with. Um, and we this one particular time we went out, it was before Christmas to go find him a coach. And he argued with her the whole time before I came to pick her up because he didn't understand why us three women were going out to go shopping. He wanted her to stay and try to like separate her from her friends so that he was all she had. I don't like gosh like that. I don't you can't control me. I I we'll fight first. We'll fight. So, yeah, stupidity and controlling are my two hot buttons.

SPEAKER_08 24:30

Do you know not not emerging from the medicine cabinet?

SPEAKER_06 24:37

I thought we're up in a whole drug.

SPEAKER_08 24:40

I'm saying, like you got your tank on and she just moving all the pills out the way.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Yeah, yeah, again, probiotics and allergy medicines want to know. Yeah, poppy Z over here like uh and coffee.

SPEAKER_06 24:56

Exactly. We got cafe, uppers and downers. Um like but now, um, so red flag, uh one that I do share with uh the doctor over here is um stupidity. That that shit bothers me. Uh like that shit bothers me. Because it is not ignorance, is one thing. I can let I can understand ignorance. I can understand ignorance, I can understand misinformation. I cannot understand when you have the information and you know what it can what he can bring, and you're still like, nah, I'ma do the dumb thing. Like it's just like it's like like it's like perfect example. If somebody tells you, don't cheat on me, and you cheat on them, and it's not like it's not awesome. I got drunk and like no, you put yourself in a situation that you could lead to cheating, that knows that you know it will lead you to cheating, and then you do it anyway, and then you what that person gave you was like, nah, that was stupid. I can't believe that's fair. I can't believe this happened. Like, you're a dumb fuck. Oh my god, it was like we were talking, and then next thing I know, he kissed me in my clothes called. Now it was like it was like even when he was like I never fell on it.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

I never understood it.

SPEAKER_06 26:18

I never understood the concept. I just never like, yeah, I just never understood how that works. Um, but yeah, it's a stupidity one, and uh like her, I have a second one, and that is um embarrassment. And the reason why I say embarrassment, because I don't really know how to say, I don't know how to say any of this any other way, but it's like if I trust in you to do something, don't don't make me feel stupid for trusting you. Like it's like like like don't like it's like like it's it's like I've like I've I've I've been with person where it's like for years, there was a like when you go into oh actually I'll use this when you go into the military, one of the first things they tell you when you go in the military is that whoever you're with, when you went into boot camp, it's cheating on you. They hammer that into you. They want you to know no one before the military loves you. It's a way that they use to try and break you down so they can build you back up. It's uh somewhat form of mind control. So the first thing, and then if you get you see start to see people getting dear John letters, which let me tell you, when a man is in a very emotional state, it gives a dear John letter. That is one of the most pressing things to watch. Like, like, like you're talking about these dudes, and you know, it no matter how hard they see, within that type of situation, and they get a dear John letter, while you're watching that man break down. He's not taking that like. So it's like, so I always thought if I put you in a position where I trust you with like my emotions or my heart or my body, my personality, whatever, and you betray that, I don't, it's not the betrayal that aggravates me. It's the embarrassment that I was dumb enough to not pay attention to the signs. My red flags are always involved with stupidity. Because to me, it's just a lot of times they can always fall back on stupidity. Even with the like with the red flag of a person cheating, there are there are some situations where you won't notice it. But a lot of times those signs are there. It's like, and you got, but it's hard to see because you're blinded by your feelings for this person, or you're blinded by the emotional attachment you have with this person, what they represent in your life at that moment. Like, say you were in a rough spot, and then their person helped you about a bit. That doesn't mean they were a good person. This means they helped you about the rough spot, and then you find out later, no, this is a trash ass person. Yeah, but I was helped out, but I but I love this person. I know this person has issues. I I know, like, I like I know I didn't get this person probably in the best situation. Though I might have been a side person that the person that you know didn't, you know, they came over to me, and now I'm like, they're gonna be faithful to me. I know damn well that's a fucking lie.

SPEAKER_07 29:12

Get them how you lose them how you get them.

SPEAKER_06 29:14

But I'm gonna trust that I am so different than this last person that uh that that they're gonna be faithful to me, unlike how they were that last person. And like I made that mistake. And uh, I don't like the embarrassment of when I'm proving that you know the truth is always good to show. Nah, this is a trash motherfucker, and they will be trashing you just like they trashed the blast person. So it's like, so um, yeah, that I don't like the embarrassment of that. It's not about the betrayal, it's not about the betray, you know, oh my trust you I I let myself astray. And that's what I don't like. It's the worst feeling in the world. It's the worst feeling in the world for me. Like yeah, that that's that's a red flag to me. I don't that's there. Like almost like you blame yourself.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Yeah, like it's like, how the fuck that I left that shit like that. Like, how the fuck I get here?

SPEAKER_06 30:03

Like that, like that, like stupidity is almost always the same to me. It's like I'll I'll tie the stupidity in some way shape.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

But it's like, for example, when you were talking about the cheating thing and you don't even know, like I have somebody that that's close to me. Um, they were married to this person, and he was being cheated on the entire marriage. Actually, the entire relationship. So I'm talking like before marriage and then after.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

How long was the marri of the relationship?

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Too long. Let's just say I was in I think I was in first grade when I met her. And like you have they always say kids can tell when somebody's just like instinctually, uh, this person shouldn't be trusted. Let's just say he should have listened to multiple people that said don't marry her, including her own mama. And um he didn't. So you figure this was probably like a 10 plus relationship between marriage and before, and he got cheated on the whole time. Then even after the divorce, she still didn't tell him, of course, that she was cheating. The sister ratted her out because he still didn't know.

SPEAKER_08 31:20

So you know, he still didn't believe.

SPEAKER_02 31:22

He was told No, no, no, he still didn't know, but he was told. Well, no, he didn't get told till after the divorce.

SPEAKER_06 31:30

They divorced for a whole completely different reason.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Yeah, they're divorced for something different. Everybody told him not to marry her because she was a bitch. Um but he got cheated on the whole relationship.

SPEAKER_04 31:44

Not getting a divorce for a whole different reason.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Yeah, it was for a whole different reason.

SPEAKER_07 31:50

Oh everybody.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

Bad as hell, nah. Okay.

SPEAKER_08 32:11

So we've we've we've heard some things.

SPEAKER_06 32:16

Oh, yeah, we die. Between me and Donnie, we got some lit, we got some things for you. I am telling you some bad relationships, bro.

SPEAKER_08 32:25

Um okay, so some people um feel as though the way to the the way to your heart, the way to the heart of a relationship, the way to secure a relationship is through food is through romance. Yeah, you know, they say the rate to a man's heart is through his stomach. Yeah. Um, but through food, through romance, uh, through rom-coms, um, you know, through just, you know, random Netflix and chilling. People say that leads to relationships as well. Um, but what would you say is the ideal method to find somebody to date? And I don't mean ideal like this is the one all uh the end all be all because obviously people have done all the different, well not all of them, but a lot of the different methods, and some have worked and some have failed. But what do you feel uh from what you know? Let's say you you you took a statistic poll right now of what you've heard from other people, what you've experienced, what do you think is the most beneficial, highest percentage way of meeting somebody and getting into a good relationship? Uh-oh. Oh, looks like Dr. Legacy's. Do you have something?

SPEAKER_02 33:50

I'm sorry, what did you say?

SPEAKER_08 33:52

Did you have an answer, Dr. Legacy?

SPEAKER_01 33:54

For that, um to find someone or whatever. I I can't even honestly that's uh cause this uh cause uh because you know uh yeah see what happened was right it's weird, especially when I know it's weird because it's like making friends when you're an adult. Yeah, it's hard, especially when you're out of school and all this stuff, because usually most like classmates or whatever, they it blossoms into friendships and all the other jazz. That's how most of us met and whatever, whatever. And but relationship-wise, it just it depends, it depends on your interests, it depends on where you frequent because some people don't leave the house, so that's even in itself hard to meet people. And online dating is is is is the work of the devil, in my opinion, sometimes because that is such a tricky slope of looking at a profile, looking at them that blur that's like maybe three sentences and trying to get an idea of someone and hoping you're not getting catfished, and hoping you're not getting catfished, and but to like ideal method, I I don't really know. I don't really know because some people could be like, oh, they'll go into certain forums or certain groups, or like people have like the cosplay community, or you, you know, I have this thing in common and you're trying to branch off and see if you have more in common, but usually it's just that one thing, and then we're just meeting here together, or you go to the library, you see, motherfucker reading a book, but it's not really book, it's about booty clapping, and you're reading something about uh you know something sparks. Book is a book.

SPEAKER_00 35:44

Look, at least you know they can read right, but it's just pictures.

SPEAKER_01 35:51

So but yeah, that's that's that's hard because sometimes you'll literally try to go to places where you have that like you know, amplify your interests, but then you meet someone, but sometimes it's not always the best. So I would say church, but that's great. But yeah, I don't know. It just depends. No, yeah, because some people luck out and like have that online relationship that blasted years and years, and they get married after three years and stuff like that. That's that's luck of the draw, but I don't really have a finite you can go to this particular hub to find people.

SPEAKER_08 36:37

Miss Skittles?

SPEAKER_04 36:39

So with all of that being said, I I think uh Lady Legis is pretty much hit the nail on the head. There is no, there is no that that's that's not a thing. Where where do I go to meet people and and and fall in love and find a healthy relationship? That that doesn't exist. That there's no finite place for you to go and just meet somebody and boom, you in a healthy ass relationship. It doesn't work that way. Um, and this is why levels, the levels, there it is. So, um, and I actually got this information uh through therapy. Um, so apparently there are six different types of relationship levels, and usually a person, when meeting another individual, they go through these levels. Whether you you're cognizant of it or not, you go through these levels of a relationship, and I'm gonna name all six of them. Um, so the first one is acquaintances, uh, then you become associates, then there's companionship, then there's friendship, then there's best friends, and then then there's the ultimate, which is marriage or a life partner or a you know, confirmed relationship. Um but um a lot of us we don't make it past um companionship. Don't companionship because that there's that that fine line between companionship and friendship, and then and then there's the people who go from companionship into like partner, and you done miss the most important levels, which is friendship and best friendship. Um so you when you're out here meeting people like that, you just gotta gauge like how much how how much further can you go into these levels? And don't skip levels, because when you skip levels, that's those are those are part of the the things that we're all um mentioning that are important in a relationship. You skip levels, then you skip things like learning each other, you skip uh important communication aspects, you you skip honesty, you skip boundaries, uh finding out about boundaries. So you you have to go through each one of these levels to build a healthy relationship with someone. Um but to to to say that there's a place out there where you can just be like, yeah, I'm gonna go here. I'm about to pick up a shoddy right quick, and we're gonna go through these levels and then it's gonna be good. Like we're gonna get married or whatever. So it's never going to work that way. It's never going to work that way. Now, um, there are um, like late late Legacy said, there are areas, um, there are things that you can do to kind of like attract? Yeah, attract or or find somebody who it who is possibly into the things that you're into. Um, but you still need to make sure you're hitting those levels. So like as a cosplayer, I that's I'm I could meet somebody in the community who who's into cosplay, but I can't just automatically say, oh, we're in the cosplay, we're perfect for each other. Like that's that's it, let's get married. Like, and there are people out there like, oh, we have this one major thing in common, he's perfect for me. No, but you have to explore all of the whole entire thing, you have to explore everything because um, because like Lady Legacy said, just just because you have that thing in common doesn't mean you know, like you start talking and you like, oh like you wade. Right as a people shows in the sun. No, wow, different. Like, I'm weird, but you weird, like so, so yeah, it I just um just feel like there there is no place that that that place that you're asking about does not exist.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

You know what, Miss Skittle, it's funny that you you read off those levels because I remember uh oh you okay um because a particular person had told me that they felt like being friends. I'm not even gonna go to the to the best friend part, but being friends isn't needed in a relationship. Disgusting. So I'm gonna say this. That doesn't make it make sense. We'll we'll talk more about that off camera. And my response to that was like, I strongly disagree. Yeah, because for instance, Shammy B and I have been friends well over a decade, okay? Like, he probably knows things that others don't, but we built that line of communication, always goes back there, um, through our friendship. Like, we could stay on the phone for hours, and then with you building that friendship, that way you get comfortable enough to let your guard down in order to solidify a friendship or best friendship, and then after that, you might want to build on you know an actual relationship, but both of you have to come to an agreement on okay, we're risking our friendship to see where this relationship can go. But that friendship step is so important because a lot of people, like I think if they didn't know we were married, would just think we're really good friends.

SPEAKER_04 42:52

So I want I wanna I wanna um bring um the definition of because it it exact it says that exactly basically the the part the good part is the part that is most important, and it's it's the agreement to continue to be available to one another in the future. That that is the the beginning of a friendship, and then like you said, it moves into best friendship and then life partner, but you can't you can't you can't move into those other things even have an agreement from the jump that y'all that y'all even fuck with each other. Like what make it make sense, like ah, we don't need to be fair, we just you know, we could just get married. Like what? You ain't doing nothing else.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

I want you at the altar, that's my stupid ass off. That's it.

SPEAKER_08 43:50

I mean, that was low key what I was gonna say. I was gonna like that that key word agreement, like being an agreement, being which means you're at the same level. Like you already said, you know, from acquaintance to uh I'm sorry, where are the first three?

SPEAKER_04 44:05

Um, the acquaintance is companionship.

SPEAKER_08 44:10

Right. So being at those first three levels, you get to companionship. Are y'all on the same page? Like, are you at the same level of companionship? Are you at the same like one person can be ready to be a friend and the other one can still be an acquaintance? Like, I we're what? I you you said you wanted to do what with me? I'm sorry. I I we just met. We met three years ago. I'm not at the same emotional availability level as you are. Right. Not with not. We're not we're not there yet. And we know one person may be at the ready to be in a relationship or long term, and one person's still back at the friendship level, still trying to figure stuff out. And I agree completely. It's you, especially what um Dr. Quinn said, uh Rebecca Quinn said, which was with her relationship with Shammy B, it can always go back to the friendship level. There were there were things that were learned at that base level that if when they got to the relationship level, had those friendship foundational uh things that they had learned not been there, the relationship wouldn't have worked as well as it has. It would have fallen through or things would have been a lot more shaky. But because there was those friendship points, they were able to then become best friends, and then they were able to be in a relationship that's stronger than most people don't even can be that most people can even fathom because of that way that they interact, because of that way that they bonded, because of that way that they know each other at that level. And I'm I'm a firm believer that if you're trying to reach a certain point with someone, you also have to make sure with that communication, with that understanding, with you know all those different points that we listed before, you are verbally and and at least communicatively at the same place, at the same place and at the same pace. Because again, just like we mature at different rates, we may not communicate or uh uh grow in our attraction to somebody in different rates. So if one person's ready to get into a relationship, that's that's cool, that's fantastic. But if I'm I'm not even done being a friend to myself, I I can't be a friend to you. I can't be at that level to you. I just can't.

SPEAKER_04 46:18

Right. No, I I think it's I think it's very important not not to skip the friendship because a lot of people do it. Um they think you know they go from being a companion or having the companionship of that person and then go straight into a relationship, and it's like, hmm, how much do you really know about how much do you really know about this person? Um stuff that you would learn in in being friends first. These are things that you would learn in a friendship. Um so yeah, when you skipping through things, you know, uh understandable, and then you and then you know, those are the same people like, oh I don't know what happened, uh you know, everything seemed good. It seemed good because you don't know them, you didn't know them, you didn't know enough about them to know that they wasn't good, obviously. Yep, so yeah, uh yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:28

Um, in terms of the whole, but I I was just telling Dominican uh uh I was like um Dr. Quinn and Lady uh legacy list. All I did was mess with friends. I'm gonna be real with you. I never I I couldn't do the whole walk up to a random person, get their number, and then start trying to work as a companionship. It was literally like you had you, I talked to this person for months at least, before I was even a conversation of where's this going? What do you mean where's this going? We were cool. Like, what are you talking about? And then like, but then I but then like I said, now the funny part about it is I have risked a lot of friendships because of that. Because, like you say, because it was a thing of I would get with a person who I was friends with, and then we would, but I never dom f uh, you know, that's true, the dominated Dr. Quinn for those who know her person. That was the first time it was a best friend. Like, like the explain thing, this is like we we knew each other for six years. And I'm talking, she would fall asleep with me on the phone. That's how long we would talk. Like, if she had issues sleeping, she would just call me up, be like, yo, I can't really sleep. We talk for a minute, then she goes to sleep, and I'll just sit there and she's gonna go sleep on the phone. That's just like I said, I knew she was sleeping, I hang up. There was no romantic thing there at all. That was our friendship. Six years of that. And then finally, it was after we had both gotten out of our separate fail relationships, it was like, it was like, like, it was like, like, I ain't like I had like I had this habit of when I got out of a relationship, I was low. Oh, I was just in the streets. Like it was one of the shit. Like it was like I was either, yeah, that was I I had two ways, I really had two ways to go. Yeah, I would have had two ways of going about it. I was like, either I was for the streets or I was just away from everything, and all I did was work. And I will, and I would either be that or I would be for the streets. That was that was it. So like, so and then last time, I couldn't, I was away from everybody because deployment. But it was like, but it was a thing of um when we talked, and originally it was let's just try this out, right? Because we didn't want, like I said, we didn't want to lose that. We were best friends at this point. That was an investment. Yeah, that was literally an investment. Like, like, like I tell people I couldn't, I couldn't lose this because I didn't know where else to go. If this didn't work out, it was like, yo, I was either gonna be a hermit or I was I was gonna follow, let me say this. I was gonna be a hermit, I was gonna follow a family trend. Let me put it like that. So I was like, So I was like, and my family already was waiting for me to follow a family trend. So it was like, yo, like let me let me figure that, let me make sure this trade works. And um, God willing, I was blessed on that one. But uh yeah, like we went through, and it wasn't like we were perfect, like we we went through a lot of trials and tribulations in that early part of the relationship. Because there was things that we knew about each other, but it was things we said he used to with each other. There was things that were like, like I like, like I have a habit of getting with highly emotional people, but I'm a very deadpan emotion-wise person. Like it's like I'm a very straight and narrow person. That was the reason why I like being alone. Because I don't tell everybody, when I was alone, I didn't have any hives, I didn't have any lows. It was straight there. But in the same sense, I had to discover I like the highs. I like the in the highs, and the highs generally make up for the lows. So I can't, so it's like, so though being straight down pan, those lows may not be as heavy, but they still they linger a little longer, you know, because the highs don't bring you up as quick. You live with those lows a little longer. They might not be bad, like you'd be the smallest shit, but it's gonna stay with you a little longer than it would if you were able to go through the highs and lows. So um we went through, like I said, we went through our trials and tribulations. We we were heavy here. We were each other's dopes at some point. Like it was just like, let's just want this whole shit over. But um, but yeah, like I said, it it was the that that best friendship makes it so that you want to stay there. Yeah, it makes it so you feel invested. Like it's like like yo, if I if I lose this, I lost out the best friend. I didn't just lose out of some chick I bet in the streets. It was like, oh the all the yeah, exactly. I just didn't just lose out of some cheeks. I lost out on the actual important part of my life, you know? And that's the hardest, that's the hardest too. Like, people don't want to say it, but it's like the reason why you gotta go through all those levels because otherwise, who cares if they lose an acquaintance? Like I got people from work that I call acquaintances. Yeah, yeah, I probably shouldn't even consider that. Like, like it's like it's like you're not gonna care, it's not gonna mean as much. So if you do, if you deal with, isn't you're not gonna deal with as much. And that person's gonna be more liable to do some dumb shit, and they feel like I'm just losing it. You know, look at how they treat friends. They might they might not even fuck about how they treat their friends, how they what's going on with their friends. So you find out this person, even if you in the best friend stage, actually, even if y'all start dating, you might be in a friend stage. Like, it's like it's like, well, nah, this person keeps their friends like shit. So guess what happened to you? But yeah, so yeah, it's all like I I yeah, I I definitely definitely agree with uh the levels that uh Miss Gittles is listed that that and and it made me realize that I I had really been cheating out on dating this whole time. No, I was fucking the system up Lady Giovanni in uh in the background, girl.

SPEAKER_08 53:39

What's the what's going on?

SPEAKER_03 53:42

Um, what was the question again?

SPEAKER_08 53:45

So the initial question uh was well, I think we already passed the red flag one. The question was about well, like I said before, Miss Gibbs kind of already answered it when she said that there isn't a place in which you can meet someone. But the question initially was do you feel like there's a location or a place or a skill or something, a general thing that is uh a way to find someone or find uh meet someone?

SPEAKER_03 54:17

No, I'm the worst person to ask this question to because I'm such a homebody. So the thing is before before I became a homebody, the only way I was meeting people was through college. So if they weren't on campus or if they weren't like around Morgan State, you know, I just wasn't meeting anybody. And I mean, at one point, you know, but because I'm trying to listen, COVID messed me up. I'm trying to remember life before COVID. Um, but I I guess I I did meet some people while going out, but in reality, the average or the the current social dating life that we have is something that I just cannot participate in. It's something that you shouldn't. I'm just not attracted to. Like people like to meet in the club, people like to meet, you know, on dating apps, and that's just something that I've never ever liked. And what I've noticed is the only time that I've actually had an attraction to somebody or the want to get to know them was they were in my type of environment. So the guy I was referring to earlier, um, I met him through training. So I like to work out, and that's where I met him. Um, previous previous guys, of course, were from school, but if they're not in my zone or in my interest, then I'm not meeting anybody, you know, and I've tried to give a chance to people who I've met in a club, who I've met in the usual, like getting approached in the mall or etc. And they've all ended very quickly and briefly. So my thing is the best place to meet somebody is within your own comfortability and with your own hobbies and activities.

SPEAKER_08 56:11

That's a good answer. I actually have a random question. Does anybody think meet like walking up on somebody is a good way to meet somebody? That's I've heard that many times from a lot of you, and that always bothers the crap out of me. I'm like, you just walking up on somebody?

SPEAKER_03 56:28

Well, like men don't know how to walk up to you.

SPEAKER_08 56:31

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 56:31

I like at least listen, my my personal experience is just heteromen don't know how to approach women. Um, but when it comes down to me, I I am the approacher and I will approach somebody if I if I decide that I have an interest in them. And I usually have a friend do it for me. I'm just like, yeah, go shoot my shot for me.

SPEAKER_07 56:50

Go shoot my shot.

SPEAKER_03 56:54

Um, but men, men like to approach you in a more sensual way. They start with talking about your appearance and like, you know, you're so beautiful, I couldn't help myself, type of nonsense. So it's just like we're grown women and we don't want to be our bodies. Like that's that's not the presentation that we are, you know, putting out there. This isn't the animal kingdom. We're not putting up our feathers and our ass and shaking them in your fucking face. This is real life. So if you're gonna approach me, you know, ask me something like did I just walk out of a certain store? Ask me if I'm if I walked out the Apple store, ask me what type of devices I like and how long I've been using these devices. If if I walk out of, I don't know, JC Penny or what is that? What is that sneaker store? RTDL or something like that. BTLR. Yeah.

unknown 57:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:48

If I walk out of there, ask me what type of brand of shoes I like. You know, like the approaching a woman and only describing her beauty to her, I don't think is appropriate. And I don't think it's a way for you to get in good with her because she now she already knows your intentions. Your intentions are just phenotypical. That's my thing. I don't think cis heteromen know how to approach women outside of the phenotype.

SPEAKER_01 58:15

I just gotta, I just gotta put my own.

SPEAKER_08 58:17

I'll uh uh go ahead, doctor.

SPEAKER_01 58:19

Okay, um, I can see what you're saying. I can see what you're saying, but it would skeeze me out that you literally watched me come from a store and asked, especially if I walk fast. So if you see me come from a store that's already back yonder, then I see you come out of Foot Locker. Like I just, yeah, that would that would that would that would be a little, yeah. It depends on how many steps behind that would be that that would be a creep just the scouting, just the scoush, just the skeleton shit, bro.

SPEAKER_02 58:53

And I know for me, reverse, you know, way back when um I was more so the one to approach than a guy approached me. That that was just in my personality, like I just yeah, I'm I'm usually the approached.

SPEAKER_01 59:07

I don't I don't have the conference. I I'd rather see what type of time you're on. I want to see if you have the poetry for words, and if you don't, that's nothing. It was like it I think approaching because only the beauty thing is is superficial, and then you have someone that is only after superficial, of course. But the just looking at you, because that's the only thing they can really go off of. If I'm just walking down the street, then they want to approach me. I'm not always you know going to be in the mall. If I'm just walking down the street, they'll be like, so I saw you and I I think your appearance is you know really attractive, and I would like to get you know get to know you better if you're okay with that. That type of stuff I can I can I can get down with. But it was like, yo, Charlie, you find a spu. What's going on? Shot, I'm trying, yeah, for real. Right.

SPEAKER_02 59:55

Like, like when you start talking like that, yo, yeah, I'm trying, yeah, I'm trying to get for real. I'm like, what? Like, I know what you said, but what? Because it just means you have nothing in between your ears at that point.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:08

It's just I I I okay. I well, I'll let Miss Girls go. And then I'll do that you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:13

Okay, but she put her church finger up.

SPEAKER_04 1:00:16

She did because because I don't want to lose a train of thought. Um, so I also like get what Lady Giovanni is saying, but then I'm also in the in the same row as uh as the the doctors over here. Of course you are. So I feel like there is definitely a difference between what the doctor said is is absolutely correct, but there's a difference. There's a difference, and I've noticed um because I get approached in in public spaces all the time.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:53

All the time.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:54

As you should, damn it. I'd approach you, Miss Skittles.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:59

You want me to list them off?

SPEAKER_04 1:01:02

I'm not even saying that, like trying to toot my whole own horn. I'm just saying it's I have been approached, uh, and I think it's weird to be like randomly approached in public. Like, you know, it's almost like, oh my god, like what? Like what do you but um at the same time, the I I think it's tell one for me, it's telling of the age of the individual. And and then um and then just just that I feel like heterocyc men in general, um the age significantly matters because because that that is telling of how they approach. Now, if you got people walking up on you with that whole, hey Sean, you fry, you know, one of those like green shirt. Hey, like um, it's it's usually their maturity, so you can already kind of like like already know what that's about. But I've had um I have had men who who don't know how to approach, but it wasn't like in a negative way. It was it was this it come it come off like shy, but I like I want to say something to you, but I don't know exactly what to say. So I'm I'm immediately commenting on your beauty. Oh uh like like Lady Legacy says, Oh, you know, you're really attractive to me. I would like to get to know you better or whatever. But I've also had the the people who um like Lady Lady Gino Bonnie said, like boosts have seen me, but and I and I don't I don't necessarily think it's creep vibes, but I do see what you're saying about the creep vibes. But I've been in like a grocery store and I and see an individual in the grocery store that I know they see me, I seen them, and then later on, while I'm still in the grocery store doing my shopping, they'll approach me later on. And I don't know if it's like for them to get the courage to come speak, like, oh, I noticed you in the in the uh aisle, or I notice you got like gym clothes on, like do you like you know the conversation is with them trying to find some way to pull me into conversation so they can so they can go into their whole spiel about trying to get to know me. But yeah, that there's I I've had and then there's the ones that um that are just like serious about it, like they they come up to you, they're like, Oh, you know, I know that you know you like candles, blah, that's cool, you know. I also think you're you know really attractive, blah blah blah. Do you have and do you have a do you have a boyfriend? That that question right there is it's funny, but because I feel like it's super intrusive. Uh uh, I don't know why I feel like it's intrusive, because it's like bruh, like how you go from talking about, you know, oh, you know, I think you're attracted, and then immediately ask me if I'm you know in a relationship with somebody. Um, I feel like it's meant to be respectful, but it's also like if I don't give you my number, then I don't give you my number. It doesn't matter if um it for me, it would matter to me if I'm in a relationship, and that's for me to know. And then that's for me to make the decision, like, no, I'm not gonna give you my number. Um, so you don't even have to ask if I'm in a relationship. But I see, I see Sukio there. I'm trying not to like go like on a tangent, but I can't I feel where where both parties are, but I'm definitely more in the realm of it is how the approach happens that can like change the whole that like the just because you mentioned my beauty doesn't is not necessarily mean that that's exactly where you're going for, like you're immediately going for sex. That's if you can see that's all you can that's all you know about me as you see.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:25

I mean, for for me, um, I don't I think I told Jacob about my experience with my neighbor and him creeping me out. Um he I made myself very clear. I set a boundary again, and this is why I mentioned earlier why boundaries are so important to me. Um, but anytime a guy approaches me, I'm nine 99.9% out of the time, I'm not interested. And so I let them know like I I open for friendship, so let's be friends and friends only. And so the guy approached me, talked about how attractive he was to me. He also pointed out that he saw me walking from my apartment into the parking lot. So he was watching me. And so Greek. Great. Exactly. But this is why I'm so on the offense when it comes down or the defense when it comes down to men just speaking completely about my attraction when they first approach me. Because I had there's a history of men crossing the line and being weird to me after I do that. So it's just like if if a if uh I had experience of a guy telling me that I was attractive and him actually being respectful therefore after, I would have a different response. But I have run into weird, creepy, disrespectful men who have approached me and just immediately went into their attraction. And so that's why I would prefer like you like you made it seem a little creepy about somebody watching me come out of store, but like sometimes you catch someone's eye, you know, you know, like those think about Korean K uh dramas and how they have the slow motion and the eye contact and the blurry glittery background.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:07

It's like someone all the bookcase and they call and they'll be like, thank you, like, or they'll fall down the steps. I just bust my head open, like you still have to be headed in the air. Won't be back. Like, what are we doing? But no, I get you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:25

Yeah, so it's it's more so like a glance, or you caught somebody's eye and they saw you come out that store type of thing. I would just prefer you show that you see an interest in me outside of attraction because I'm so used to weirdos and creeps doing that to me. So it's just I want to break in fresh air.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:45

I have one thing concerning that, and um, I actually do, I had to think about it when you brought that up. Um, about gentlemen just coming up and saying, Oh, I think you're beautiful, and trying to create a conversation from that. And I was thinking, I was like, Have I done that? And I was like, Yes. Me and another gentleman though, I was in the military, and it was the only other guy I met that did this. Because what we had a habit of doing is we would go up, and if we felt that way, one, if I a lot, when I at the time, I was in a relationship, so if I felt that way, I would go up and tell that person that, just introduce myself and tell them thank you, you know, thank you, and then just walk off. And um, he did it as well. And I remember we had a conversation about it one time because it was like at that point, if you just leave it alone after that, like, you know, I think you're very attractive. I just wanted to say thank you, you know, thank you for, you know, coming out, you know, looking as good as you do, and um just go about your business. You don't have to do it, it's just this is all the circumstances, like this is just so fucking like like mind-blowing to me that it was like, yo, I just have to say something. And then I walked away afterwards. Yep. And um, I know that when you do that, you're putting it, you're putting the ball in her hand or in their hands, and then it's like I I see that as more of a respectful way of doing that. Because now I was like, if they want to pursue, they can. If they don't, then it's over.

SPEAKER_08 1:09:15

Then it's over.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:16

You know, you you know, they feel good about themselves, they go along with their day. And it's like, and um, and I was just like I said, when you brought that up, I was like, damn, like that's I didn't realize how creepy the other way about it is, where it's like, yeah, I come along, you say I think you're beautiful, and I would like to really get to know you. It's like, well, why?

SPEAKER_07 1:09:36

Well, I do want to, right?

SPEAKER_06 1:09:38

Absolutely. Because it's like this could be an axe murderer, like it could be all types of mental issues that that come from that now. Like, she could be clean, girl from thin line between love is hate. Fucking like she was attractive, fucking, yeah, fuck it. Let them give it a shot with our lives, and it's like, and I'm like, why? And even as you brought it up, I'm thinking about now. I'm like, why do people do that? Where it's like, I want to create this whole fucking relationship, all the fact that you look good, and then find out you are trash afterwards. And now I'm waiting for it. Exactly. It's like, it's like you didn't even go off of fashion. It wasn't like you look this person, like, oh, they dressed. I like the way your hair looks. Even then, it's like I like the I your hair looks like a design I might do. Or like it's like you saying, I see somebody with tattoos, and then I'm like, yo, I really like that anime too, where you and like that's a different conversation than damn, you look good. Let's talk. Like, yeah. Like, that's wild. I didn't think about it like that too. Yeah, that's a crazy way of going about the shit. Yeah, you want to create a whole fucking like light, and now you're thinking about like actually spending a bunch of time with this person because they they sexy. That's right.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:59

But that's why I said it really just depends on their partners because sometimes they'll throw that in there, but like if you throw other things in there with that, it it softens it. Yeah, you just come at me like, yeah, like, oh yeah, you fine as fuck. Like, I'm trying, you know, I'm trying to get them the digits, like much fun it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:22

It's like, it's like uh like out there's a video. There's a guy named Hot Damn Iraq. He made a video. Yeah, okay, yeah. He made a video back in the day where he was like, everybody, everybody says they want artisty. So I'm just gonna go up to these women. He's from Maryland. I'm gonna go up to these women, I'm just gonna tell the trail too. He's like, yo, you look good. I really just like the fuck, yeah. And he was like, I like he got he got fucked up on regular occasions because of this. Like he said, he literally said, I'm taking six snaps to the face today, and I just want to chill out now. Like, and I'm like, dog, and I'm thinking about I'm like, but that's the honesty. Anybody's coming up to you and saying they want to get to know you because you look good, chances are I just want to fuck.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:09

All right, Susie, what was you trying to say? Because you you you've been holding your church fingers for a while.

SPEAKER_08 1:12:16

What I really was gonna say, um, and Shamie Biaxy covered a lot of it, is most, and I won't just say, you know, cishet guys, I just say people in general, when they come across some someone, and it's normally if it's normally triggered by um attraction, if it's triggered by them being amorous, being horny, whatever word you want to use, then it's not like most of them were trained in a specific way of interacting with someone and gaining an initial conversation to start an acquaintancehip. Because I believe acquaintanceship was the first one, right? So normally an acquaintanceship, kind of going back to what Lady Giovanni said, she met a lot of people in college. Acquaintanceship is when you are in normally when you're in an environment with somebody for a period of time and you learn something about them or some things about them, and then it can grow into something else, or you're affixed to that person because of a responsibility or some type of uh contractual obligation or traditional obligation.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:22

What is this for?

SPEAKER_08 1:13:23

Acquaintanceship. What's acquaintanceship?

SPEAKER_04 1:13:26

That's more associated.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:28

Oh, so that's next level.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:30

So acquaintanceship is just meeting somebody.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:32

Yes. Acquaintanceship.

SPEAKER_08 1:13:33

Oh, oh, so I was stacked too much on top of it. Yes.

SPEAKER_04 1:13:36

I was trying to say was it's the literally like look like like Shammy V said, like co-workers are acquaintances, they are just people you just bump into your cab driver, your Uber driver, like that's just out in the world. Right. And you and you bump non-fucking factors. You bump into them and you and you have like a slight interaction, but there's nothing more than that.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 1:14:03

So those are acquaintances.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:04

Acquaintances. And then if you communicate for more than that initial interaction, then it's being a coming associate.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_08 1:14:14

Okay. And it's funny. That's why they call them associates when you work at a store. That makes sense now. Because you need to communicate with somebody, get to know them, build a rapport to convince them to buy this object. We're not companions, but we're associates. Ah, that makes sense. Now, if you're a repeat customer, now you're my companion. And you're gonna make me this money, bitch. But anyway, sorry, beside that point. Um no, so what I really was saying is most people who walk up on people, they haven't been trained in the art of communicating. They're normally based off of some type of interaction that they've already had, whether it's work, whether it's school, whether it's friends, like on the schoolyard, something like that. Um, that's how they initially communicate with somebody. But once you get to a certain age, like we were all saying, you get to a certain age, you're not meeting people as often as you were before, unless you are in an industry that has you meeting people as often or a lot. So if you're a homebody, excuse me, if you're just a person who goes to work and goes back home and you work maybe in a at a desk job or in a space where you're not interacting with a bunch of random people, and even on a lot of associate jobs, you're not allowed to enter uh uh to you know come on clients or your customers. So you won't really interact with them in that situation either. So when you don't have those skills and those skills aren't taught or practiced, you really only have to base it off of whatever what are they these youngins call it now? Riz, whatever your Riz is. Charisma. I found out it's charisma. Charisma, charisma. It's they shortened it for Riz.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:42

Oh you like to do your research on these youngins. All it is the same thing as drip. That's that's it's their version of drip. That's all it is.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:54

I'd rather say drip than Riz. Sure. That's not what we're talking about. Used to mean something else.

SPEAKER_08 1:16:00

Also true. Gross. Uh so yes, so um, but that that charisma to be able to communicate and be able to, you know, uh uh put on uh to convince this young lady, this young gentleman, however you whatever your direction is, um, in you know, dealing with you, communicating with you, so on and so forth. I would say the biggest issue is when they because they have nothing better to do, and I'll say it like this, because they have nothing better to do, and I always feel like it's a sense of entitlement when they feel like this person in front of me, what was who said it? I think it one of you said it, uh, where you the arrogance, there it is, yes, the uh this narcissistic, the arrogance within the narcissism. Like the fact that you feel like whoever's in front of you should give you their undivided attention, should give you their uh uh uh unadulterated um sexual response to your advances because you are you because you're a guy, and because I'm going back that way, then I think that's what begets a lot of the advances that a lot of women or people do not like. It's because you feel like you know you've been in the gym, or you feel like you have some type of money, or again, like I said before, you just feel like you're a guy, because there's some people who just feel like, well, I'm a guy, so she should be fine with that, and she should be happy about the fact that I'm talking to her because she had no other option other than me. So I'm like, you're in a club. There's like 200 people here, there's other guys here, there's women here. Why does she need to talk to you? I I always cringe at that. Like, why are you walking over there? She doesn't why why are you doing that? Oh my god, this is so weird. This is a girls, don't do it. Stop, turn around. Um, it's like, but I bought her a drink. You mean that $5 rail drink? That guy over there just bought her a shot of uh uh uh tequila, age tequila at that. Oh, that looks like it's like $48 a bottle. No, no, $48 a shot. Oh. I don't I don't think your rail drink is doing it, bruh. You might want to go on over there, mosey on over and stop. Uh but the problem is they have this mentality where they feel as though no matter what, she should respond. She should give him his attention and she should uh do what he says she should do. And I think the weird part is when you're in a situation like that, there's no, what was that word I just said yesterday? Self-awareness. And that lack of self-awareness in a variety of different environments is what I think gets a lot of people into trouble because they're like, oh, it doesn't matter. I'll figure it out. And then that's what happens when, you know, a bunch of the things that I've again, as uh Lady Giovanni has said before, I've had a conversation with her about, you know, the guy who saw her walking out of the gym and knew she lived in his apartment complex. I'm like, bro, just take a second. Like, just literally what Shammy B did a couple seconds ago. Take a second and look at what you just said to this woman. I watched you walk out of the gym. I watched you walk into this apartment complex. Oh, I believe Lady Giovanni even said, did he ask you what apartment you lived in?

SPEAKER_03 1:19:18

No, um, he already knows because he lives in my apartment complex.

SPEAKER_08 1:19:21

And there you go. Like, with all of the different Netflix specials and the how to get away with murders, like women don't watch the I see so many TikToks about people talking about women watching that, that being their favorite like genre of TV show. They don't watch it because of just enjoyment. Some of them watch it to know how to get out of situations or know how to kill your bitch ass if you get too close. It's one of the other two. It's not just because they enjoy the entertainment value, they want to know, oh, what happened to this bitch and how can I get out of that situation my damn self? Ever thought of that? Anybody? Anybody at all? Nobody, nobody thinks of that. This is just me.

SPEAKER_03 1:19:54

No, I definitely avoid certain public settings and certain clubs and certain environments because I'm just like, this is the type of environment that women get abducted in the most. I avoid going to bars by myself because I I know many stories of women being roofied. I have a personal friend of mine who was drugged and taken advantage of. And yeah, I I know where to not go because of the other experiences and other shows.

SPEAKER_08 1:20:22

So, with that being, of course, not necessarily on the rise, because of that being such a large factor in a lot of people's inability to want to be in a relationship or inability to interact with somebody to potentially be in a relationship, how do we what would you say is a method of avoidance or a method of avoiding getting into your situations like that? What's a way to get into a relationship safely? I know we talked about there being no one place that you can do what we just talked about, which is get into a relationship. But what is a safe way to get into a relationship to avoid these types of situations?

SPEAKER_03 1:20:57

Um, like we discussed earlier, friendship. Uh, that's another thing that I noticed in a lot of these relationships that don't last is that they went through the approaching route, like them just being approached by a stranger and then starting to date and then just dating off of phenotypical attraction. Um, for me personally, I every guy who I've stopped talking to or cut off. I I never got to form a proper friendship with. So for me, it's you have to be my friend first. I have to feel comfortable with you. Um, not only in a public setting with other groups of people, but I also have to know that if we are by ourselves alone, you won't try anything, you won't do anything, you won't make me feel uncomfortable. Um, for me, it's just also I don't let myself go to bars alone. Like if I'm if I'm going in that type of environment, I have to have a friend, I have to have a buddy. But yeah, the number one thing is for me, especially when it comes down to my safety, um, I will not let you around me by myself if I don't feel safe around you or if we don't have a prior friendship where I can trust you to be in my space. But yeah, I just I just think that friendship is a really, really important factor to growing a relationship and growing comfortability with one another.

SPEAKER_08 1:22:17

Anyone want to piggyback on that, Miss Gittles?

SPEAKER_04 1:22:20

No, I mean I I think that that answer is perfect. Uh with like I like I mean, I feel like everything we discussed today is how you get into a safe relationship. You like everything that everybody hit on is how you move into a relationship safely. Like you you have to, it's imperative that you get to know the person before you decide they're about to be your everything or or whatever. Um, but for sure, friendship and important step, um, communication, uh, the honesty, the trust, all of that, intelligence, like just having these conversations with the people you're interested in is how you how you get started, build a foundation for a safe and healthy relationship.

SPEAKER_07 1:23:25

Yeah, maybe.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:26

Um, and on that note, one more thing that uh going back to the not going back to so much, but uh one more thing a lot of people have to understand too. The reason why this friendship and best friendship thing is so important is because not everybody's 100% of the same.

SPEAKER_08 1:23:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 1:23:42

So that friendship, again to know that person helps you to understand where their 100% is. So you you can honestly know, okay, they're putting their all into this relationship or not. And that there's a like it's it's not just for the standpoint of you don't want creep, is another thing of you also want to know, have a better idea of what you're getting into and where your person, the person that you're with, their limits are. Because that that's what ultimately the strengths and weaknesses, they're you know, they're they're where they're willing to go, where they're not willing to go, so on and so forth. It's like that helps with understanding what is this relationship right for you as well. So it's it's uh it's some of those things you don't necessarily find out until you're in a relationship with them, but for the most part, you have at least a better idea.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:29

Like you, like when you get to that relationship phase uh at what is the point, you have to be able, like, like he said, talking about your strengths and your weaknesses. For instance, one of my weaknesses is mass. I don't don't give it to me. I will automatically tell you to give it to Shammy B. But Shammy B's work schedule doesn't allow him to like sit down sometimes and do budgets. So then it's it's like I can carve out the time, but still it would be up to me to pick up and like you know, pay the bills or figure out where the money's going. You have to be able to complement each other. So if one person falls short on whatever, the other person can easily pick it up and the transition is still seamless. Because regardless, the household still has to be grand. You can't let things falter. So that that friendship phase that way you can piggyback off of, like you said, strengths and weaknesses and don't play the blame game. Right, and don't point fingers. It's like, hey, it's it's a way to approach your spouse without automatically saying it's your fault. And like saying, you know, for instance, hey, what happened to you doing X, Y, and Z, or what happened to this particular situation in this particular situation? How could we have done it better? Like instead of just nagging. Like, I I've recently found out that a lot of women on uh my mother's side do a lot of nagging, which leads to a lot of irritation, especially when you're older and you're setting your ways. So my approach is let me have a conversation with you and try to weasel in. Well, you know, how much water did you drink today? Oh, okay. Well, how about you try? Why don't you try sipping during commercials? That way you can get some more fluids in your body, you know, like just making it a more convenient way so it makes it either make them think that it's their idea or they understand where you're coming from to the point where okay, you're not nagging me, you're just giving me a suggestion. And it's up to me to either take that into consideration or just leave it alone.

SPEAKER_08 1:26:37

All valid tips. Uh I would say at the end of it all, beginning of it all, what would I mean? We had kind of went through a lot of different, you know, advice, opinions on you know, proper ways to get in relationships, start relationships, talk to people, discuss things with people. But I guess what's an end-all be all for each person here? What would you say is your last piece of advice for someone who is either wants to get into a relationship and doesn't know how, or might have started a relationship and wants to make sure they're on the right path. Do we want to start with Mosquitoes?

SPEAKER_04 1:27:19

Um, yes. Okay, so my my um end all be the beginning um would be to take your time. Um get on my head, get out my head, Mr. You gotta take your time with it. There's no rush, there's no rush to get into something with somebody because at the end of the day, you're going to take your I mean, it takes time to get to know somebody, it takes time to go through those levels, it takes time to to be comfortable and and and come to an agreement with someone, an agreement. With someone on okay, we're here at this friendship level and and then agree to go into something else, but that's time. So it don't feel rushed if you if the person on the other end it's also you know well what are we what are we um and you're not there yet, then you're not there, and then either they will understand that you you guys communicate that or you communicate that to them. I'm not there yet. And it's I mean at that point the balls in there going, oh well, if you're not there yet and I'm ready, then then you can either move on or or or you know you start you start with someone new. But um, but I think most importantly, take your time, trust your trust your gut feelings on on things, and um and just be open and honest and and communicate and set boundaries for sure. Boundaries. But yeah, that's that's fine.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:07

Um, I would say, well, okay, sorry to stop trying to skip steps. Um, just because a step might not be important to you does not mean that it's not important to the person that you're trying to pursue, or needed for the relationship, yeah, or needed, like they might need that step in order to go to another step, but you just can't play it like hopscotch trying to like skip over, like no, we're not stop skipping over steps. Every step is important, that's why there's six levels. Like, it you don't skip numbers when you're counting unless you're doing multiplication, like just follow the steps and hopefully y'all will get there. If you don't, well, you you can't be mad because you ended at let's say companionship or or friendship or whatever. You didn't lose anything. Um, or what was the other one I had? It flew out of my head. Yeah, that one, I think that was the main one. Like, right, like just don't don't skip the steps, like oh shit, yeah, I gotta talk about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:22

Um I would say relationship-wise, and I will try to practice what I preached. It's important to do check-ins. And check-ins as in I know, right? It's important to do check-ins just to see what the temperature is for both people in whatever segment of the relationship is, just to make sure you're huh? What level are you? I know, right? Just to see what level both like where everybody's head is at. Like, are we still continuing? Are we still gonna go backwards or stay where we are, just to make sure everybody has the same ingredients list to make a cake? And uh yeah, but yeah, just date, like not daily check-ins, like every once in a while, do a check-in to see what type of time everybody's on, to make sure everybody's in the same headspace. If I need to do something better or I don't need to do anything at all, you didn't appreciate something I did because you were afraid of my reaction. But like just open and have an open dialogue, an open uh I don't say forum, just an open community conversation about anything. And don't get in your feelings when someone said that they don't they that you did something that they didn't like. I just didn't like that you did it, and I'm hoping that you're gonna be able to change it. But and if you don't change it, then you know what type of person that person is.

SPEAKER_08 1:31:51

Yep. Um or do you want to just say hers was yours?

SPEAKER_06 1:32:01

I you know just funny as I've been out of the game for so long, man. Like I like I learned new generations, uh hate to put it out there like that, but it's just like like damn, like, like I don't know. Um shit, sushi no shogun taught me that I should keep daddies in my bibliography. That's about it. That's about it. That's all I got for me. Because it was like, like, y'all keep a dollar worth a dime. Yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, keep a keep keep a couple dollars. But yeah, because it was like like that, y'all. I I never realized it, and I keep hearing about it from friends and stuff. Y'all going through a lot in this single age. It's it's not, and it's not getting any better. Because I mean, I'm talking to older people having like their 50s, like yeah, they're in their 50. And it's like, and I'm sitting there and I'm like, I've said it multiple times, I can't go back.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:04

Nope.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:04

I can't.

SPEAKER_07 1:33:05

Nope.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:06

Like I just horrible, it's horrible.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:09

Being in the streets is horrible now.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:10

Being in the streets, like it wasn't, it wasn't that bad when I was last day. Yeah, I was like, when I was last there, it wasn't that bad.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:18

It wasn't what it is.

SPEAKER_06 1:33:19

It's a war zone out there.

SPEAKER_04 1:33:22

It's horrible, okay?

SPEAKER_02 1:33:25

Like, I can these pickings is either or not at all. Oh, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:37

Listen, I will say that this this dating age did not make it hard for me to be asexual at all. Facts.

SPEAKER_08 1:33:50

Hilarious. Oh, was that your tip? Uh uh, Lady Giovanni, be asexual.

SPEAKER_03 1:33:58

Yes, be asexual. It's less of a headache, it's way more peaceful. I definitely recommend 10 out of 10. Come to the side.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:07

Keep a dollar worth of dimes in the drawer at that point. In the drawer and get your starting lineup going.

SPEAKER_08 1:34:14

Um I would definitely say if there was anything I could say, um, because we already talked about, of course, communication, but I would definitely say one big thing is to one big thing is to when communicating, just make sure, because actually Mosquito's kind of already touched on it, being on the same page, being at the same level, you know, um just being in the same realm of space when you're communicating with the person and and making sure that when you are communicating with this person, and as you know, uh uh Dr. Quinzel uh said, you know, about don't skip over any steps, but it's like when you are communicating with new people, when you're communicating with the person you want to talk to, make sure that they want to do the exact same thing you want to do. I think for me, that's that's probably the biggest thing. If they don't want to communicate with you, you have to be okay with that. Like, I think I think it was uh Shammy B that was like if there's nothing wrong with walking up, giving somebody a compliment, and then walking away. If they want to continue the discussion, the conversation, build that uh associate level, then let them let that person do it. But I tell uh uh Dr. Legacy all the time, you know, she'll say, Oh my gosh, Shody's a baddie, like what she's wearing is amazing. Go tell her. Like, people people don't get that. And uh that might be why you know Lady Giovanni felt a certain type of way about those types of statements is if you're not used to human beings in general coming up to you and giving you a compliment or saying something about you know how you look, how you wear, if it if it comes off as creepy, you don't know who you're you don't know what somebody's trauma is, you don't know what baggage that they have. So if your only means of communicating with somebody or sparking a conversation with somebody is to use your objective lens, then it makes it difficult when you don't know who you're dealing with. The person could have that trauma. That person could not like the way they look, they could have, you know, a thing about themselves. And you pointing out certain things, like, oh, so everybody's looking at my hair. You you said you that's why it always seems like because I always see like a lot of straight guys, head cis head guys, say um that you know, women can't take compliments. It's it's not that they can't take compliments, it's the the women that you're speaking to, you're bringing attention to something that they specifically did not find positive about themselves. And it might just be that day. They could have felt like they didn't look all that well that day, and they're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. So you were looking and you decided to point it out to me. And now they're even more self-conscious that uh self conscious about it right now than they were before. So there's a bunch of different levels. Do I need to stop talking? You pointed up the finger. Did I do something?

SPEAKER_02 1:37:01

So, so while you were talking, right? It was just to keep the thought. It was to keep yeah, it was to keep the thought for real. You know, you know, I'll be losing thoughts. You you said cis had men, and then it made me think of the red pill movement when you said they said women can't take a compliment. So my thought was has the red pill is there a blue pill?

SPEAKER_06 1:37:20

It probably is.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:21

Okay, well, we'll stay on the red pill for right now.

SPEAKER_06 1:37:24

All these pills start have blue pills probably.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:26

I don't I don't know. We we would have gone through the Skittles packet at this point. No, a Skittles packet. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, MM packet. That better. There you go. There you go. So I'm like, has the red pill movement made dating worse?

SPEAKER_08 1:37:48

I feel like that's another episode. Yeah, I'm actually out of time. There's a whole other episode.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:59

We'll leave it at the audience. You know, tell tell them to give us their feedback, you know, give us our feedback. I need to Google that because I had no idea what you were talking about.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:09

Oh, okay, okay.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:10

All the people I thought would know would be Miss Skittles, because yeah, so you've you've been a direct uh impacted by the red pill movement.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:17

Right. We'll we'll leave it, we'll leave it at, you know, audience. Let us know your thoughts on this before we have this episode. Because I feel like that episode is gonna be really deep and long.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:28

So prepare the i think I might even bring somebody in who who is a flag bearer of the red pill movement.

SPEAKER_04 1:38:37

Bring them. I've been waiting. I've been waiting.

SPEAKER_08 1:38:42

I am flabbergasted, appalled. Taken aback.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:47

This is the thing. Who the fuck? Like, that's how Kevin Samuels got big. Ah, yeah. Yeah, see? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 1:38:56

Like it is sad too because there's there are good representatives of the red pill, but then there are the horrible ones, the ones that everybody hears about. Like Kevin Frame, the depression fits and stuff and so on and so forth. So it's kind of in it's and it's like, and then there's this the like the the pink pill movement, which is also that's like that's the the the women's version of the red pill. And it's it's it's it's a lot. The black pill, where it's just like they just go off the wall. Like, fuck them niggas. There's a wrong with them. Um, but like, but yeah, it's it's it's a lot, it's a lot, and that is that is should be in and of itself uh it's whatever.

SPEAKER_03 1:39:34

Alright, so we're gonna call it pill poppin'. Wow.

SPEAKER_08 1:39:40

You heard it here, folks, folks. Whoa, you heard it here first, folks. Uh pill poppin' on a handstand. Get ready for it. All right, so just uh well Miss Kittles is still diving deep into that, but we're we're we're we're gonna go ahead and wrap up our episode today. Uh, I want to thank, of course, our panelists. Uh, give them the opportunity to showcase how they can be reached, how can they be spoken to? Of course, I'll start off with the uh podcast uh We Can Be Reached at the Blur Spectrum um on Instagram, on Facebook, and on Twitter. I think we have a Twitter. Yeah, we have a Twitter, and YouTube. Um, or myself, Suchi No Shogun, that's Suchi underscore no underscore shogun on Instagram, T S U C H I, Umbral Starcade, of course, on all platforms, getting ready to do something big, add a couple of cons this summer. Uh, if you're interested in any esports, reach out to Umbral Starcade on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, Twitch, and Discord. Yes. Uh Rebecca Quinn.

SPEAKER_02 1:40:46

All right, you can find me at Blurred Creations on uh IG, at Blurred Creations Store on Facebook, and at Blurred Creations on Twitter, although I'm not on there. And then we are also on TikTok at Blurred Creations as well. We will be at a couple of conventions this year. Can I name them Suchi or no?

SPEAKER_08 1:41:10

You can name like three of them.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:12

Okay, we will be at Otacon, which is at the end of July for all my DMV people. We will be at Anime Inc., which is in Richmond, Virginia, which is in October, and we will be at NecoCon in November, which is the first week of November, which is in Hampton, Virginia. If you would like to see us at any other cons, please drop it in our DMs and we will see what we can do for you.

SPEAKER_08 1:41:39

Okay. Ms. Skittles.

SPEAKER_04 1:41:43

Um, it is Ms. Skittles, is Z Skittles T or T-R underscore cosplay at or at Facebook, on Facebook, Instagram, and um, TikTok, and then I am also on Twitter as M-I-Z Skittles2K02K.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:05

Uh, shammy B.

SPEAKER_06 1:42:08

Um, I'm gonna be honest, as of late, you can I haven't really been doing too much because Zelda took my life over. I have not I barely sleep. Um it just works. It's work, it's it's school, and it's Zelda. That's about that's all I got right about now. And and family is stuck in there.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:27

That's about uh Dr. Legacy.

SPEAKER_01 1:42:33

Oh yeah. Um, what is it? Uh at AmazingGraceland underscore on Instagram. That's it.

SPEAKER_08 1:42:43

Inbezzle my nizzle, Lady Giovanni.

SPEAKER_03 1:42:46

Uh you can find me on Instagram at FW underscore the pink dream. Um, same on TikTok and don't find me on Twitter. Thank you.

SPEAKER_07 1:43:02

Um, I think that was everything.

SPEAKER_08 1:43:04

Yes. Um, and of course, uh our mailbag, uh, the blurred spectrum at umbrellstark.com. And you yes, yes, yes, we'll be places. Hit us up. And we'll be starting starting the solstice very, very soon, so be prepared for that. Thanks everyone, and as I always say Sayonada.