The Blerd Spectrum
The Blerd Spectrum
Heroes and Why They Ain't $#*t! Part 1
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You know them, you love them, now hear why we Don't! This is Part One of the Heroes that the Blerds think need to do better.
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Welcome back to the Blurred Spectrum Podcast, everyone. I hope you are uh excited about this uh episode. I think all of us are, especially after the uh wave of just nostalgic villain, just just beautiful villains that we went over last week. Uh this week is different. This week we're talking about uh the more triumphant individuals, the the people who are uh sworn enemies of our villains, um, the the definition of a hero is a is a being who is admired for achievements or noble qualities, uh legendary figure of divine descent, with magical or mythical or paid for or homebred abilities, uh, or mutagenic in nature, that is an object of extreme admiration. Now, are we actually talking about these heroes? No, we're actually talking about the ones that are ineffective, the ones that are, for lack of better words, ain't shit. So, welcome to Heroes and why they are ineffective. Why they ain't shit. I have our panelists here today, starting with myself, Suchy No Shogun. We have Ms. Skittles, we have Champlu bracelets, we have the black McCoy, we have Prince Cousin, we have Kaze. We have The Doctor, we have Joe, T S G. And we have Miss Sayonet. So today we're going to uh allow each of our panelists to kind of uh give a villa a villain, a hero, uh or somebody who feels as though they're a hero, and give their ineffective qualities, their ineffective abilities, their ineffective personalities, characteristics. Um I'm sure a lot of people's feelings will be hurt. Not even on the panel, probably those of you listening. But if you have an issue, go ahead and hit our mailbag, the blurred spectrum at umblestark.com. We'll be sure to respond back to you soon. So I think we will start today with Prince Cousin. Your heroes, please.
SPEAKER_06So, okay, the first one is probably gonna piss off a lot of people, but Harry Potter.
unknownDamn.
SPEAKER_08I don't think there are a lot of people who would disagree with you.
SPEAKER_06I mean, I I if when I think of ineffective hero, right? You did what? You did what, really? Make friends with Hermione Harney Granger, or somebody strategic much older than you. Or you cheating. Like, it's just like there was you know like a top of like three spells, maybe he was passing his classes. I mean, what's he had Hermione? I mean, you can't. And then I thought you got an entire book on cheat codes on in potions, right?
SPEAKER_08Ah yes, the half-blood princess book. I remember that shit.
SPEAKER_06And you didn't even write this. Like, so like the coolest thing he got was that like you can see really far, which is like the biggest mind like bunk, because like you can barely see, but you can see a snitch. Like you have glasses on, but you can see a snitch. Like, I don't I don't understand. You know what Hermione probably did that too with his glasses broke.
unknownLet's go.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Really, the whole hero should have been Hermione Granger. It should have been.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I'll give you that. I'll give you that.
SPEAKER_08Harry Potter in that time, Hermione kept me from getting my ass lost in the woods. Harry Potter in that time, Hermione Granger saved me from getting eaten by a giant plant under the school.
SPEAKER_06Oh, Hermione Granger, please. Like, you have packed all my needs in this bag that you carried around, and it looks good. Like I'm confused. And then at the end of the day, you date your best friend's little sister.
SPEAKER_02That was creepy. That was creepy. That was creepy. I'm required in love.
SPEAKER_06And like the only person that oh, anyways, so that's my first one, right? I just feel like he's ineffective. Like you found magic in the world, and you still couldn't make a house to go uh on weekends. Like, I'm just so confused. Why I quit.
SPEAKER_08Harry Potter, in that time, I chose Cho Chang. I chose Jenny Weasley instead of Cho Chang.
SPEAKER_06Cho! Cho! Who, by the way, is Ravenclaw, hashtag Ravenclaw. But like, she still didn't want to date you. After all that work, you still didn't get a date. I didn't get it. And you got hella money, and you still couldn't buy a house. Anyways, okay. So that's my first one. Speaking of somebody with hella money, alright, and I know a lot of people are gonna be pissed off for this.
SPEAKER_02You about to call Bruce? I know. It's Bruce Wayne. I knew it. Oh, I knew it. It's your fellow. I knew it.
SPEAKER_06And it's not because I don't adore him as a character, right? I enjoy having somebody that like I don't think she is. I don't know if her screen was frozen, right? That's how hars she got. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. But just hear me out, right? So you can create a fine spaceship that orbits the world that has a super beam, right? Yeah. Engineering Marvel, right? Can detect shit that you don't even know is there, right?
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_06But you can't build a prison to save your life from having all your villains continuously escaping. That's I don't understand it.
SPEAKER_03So, okay, so that'd be interesting because I'll be briefly lean into this later.
SPEAKER_06Okay. On top of that, Amanda Waller.
SPEAKER_03Uh oh. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Waller. Wait, don't talk about it.
SPEAKER_06While she was in a bathrobe, she called you a playboy. And then not only did one, but two, two of your sidekickes die. One of them comes back to life from a different villain and does a better job of keeping the city safe than you. He's just a man.
SPEAKER_00He has superpowers. Okay.
SPEAKER_08He does. And it's all white people. Then you want him to buy to the prison industrial complex and shit. Have a pride in prison. I'm questioning terms of that. That's a conflict of interest.
SPEAKER_06That's literally his power, is the epitome of white privilege.
SPEAKER_08I mean, so is Clark's, if you want to be real honest about it.
SPEAKER_06If you actually want to go back to the history of it, uh, Superman is supposed to show the the idealism of what it means to be an immigrant, right? Supposed to come to this world and be the ultimate uh superhero, right? That was the origination of what Superman was supposed to represent. It's immigration, right? And so Batman was supposed to represent what it means when to use your wealth for something good. I'm just saying you're ineffective only because your greatest is literally.
SPEAKER_08I'm not saying that's not what he's supposed to represent, but when you look like a when you look like a 6F, then it's you don't run into that many problems.
SPEAKER_06But yeah, so those are my two that I I just wanted to get about. But like, I'm sorry. You just were ineffective. What did you do on your own?
SPEAKER_03Champlu, you had a question.
SPEAKER_05Um, I actually my question was more concerning uh just the human. Would would you consider Punisher a more effective Batman? That's a good question.
SPEAKER_08Effective or aggressive? He's definitely more aggressive.
SPEAKER_05Definitely more aggressive.
SPEAKER_09Is he more aggressive?
SPEAKER_08I was saying more effective.
SPEAKER_05Yes, the nigga's more aggressive. Did you just ask if the Punisher was more aggressive? I say he's definitely more aggressive. No, I'm not talking about you. I don't think so. No.
SPEAKER_03I asked, is he more aggressive because he actually finishes the job, or is he more aggressive just because in how he decides to handle the villains that he's up against?
SPEAKER_04No, I think he's more aggressive against the he's a straight up.
SPEAKER_06The punisher has Daredevil, uh, Luke Cage in the same freaking city. Like, you're protecting one city, and it takes how many of you all? So, like, no, I don't think he's more effective. Just because you use a gun doesn't make you more effective. Uh that I think that was where what you were trying to get towards when I said the red hood comment. Um, it he was more effective because he killed people, yes. But and he used guns. But like it was the mindset of like these are the major players, these are the people I'm taking out. Punisher decided he was gonna take out Randos, like everybody. And like that's that's not an effective use of your time.
SPEAKER_05Depends on which version of Punisher you're looking at. That's true. You're completely fair. Because there was the one that was also international, he was all over the place just murk, murk, murk. So it was like, um, I do understand if you're looking at it from like a defender standpoint. I think everybody that was part of the defenders were ineffective.
SPEAKER_06But uh I mean I really don't I don't mention Marvel because like Marvel.
SPEAKER_05You got a lot of people that fall to the category.
SPEAKER_08I mean, I don't typically mention Marvel and DC because they have too many different writers and too many different comic history. Exactly.
SPEAKER_06So like as a concept, that's why I try to stick with the concept. Like Batman, as as great as you are, you just you couldn't find a more effective way of tracking the Joker. Or like, like you had the only reason you got good at your stuff was because like your villains are brilliant, and I will give you that. Your villains are top-notch brilliant. But like human-ish.
SPEAKER_08My own my only pushback for that is that the Joker is supposed to, well, quote unquote, supposed to be this kind of mirror of Batman, but on the opposite end of the spectrum. So his inability to be able to track him as well as he should be able to, would in that in that comparison be attributed to the Joker being almost, if not just as intelligent as he is, and able to not and able to elude him in that way. Definitely push back for that, but I agree otherwise.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_09I think I think between um uh Punisher and Batman and both of them being uh deeply sick individuals. Uh deeply. I think I think I I think the thing that makes Punisher less effective specifically is um uh he he is so he is so close to his pain that he his discernment of who is evil is extremely skewed. Um matter of fact, Punisher has been in the he's been in the same room as major major players who who are not bulletproof many a time and they are still here because we need no comics. Um and honestly, and that's probably Batman's biggest issue too. Batman has one of the if not the greatest Rose galleries as far as comics are concerned. And so you have to write some way in for them niggas to pop pop the fuck out on a weekly basis, because how you know, because how else are you gonna deal with them?
SPEAKER_07Yeah, I think Batman's a really good example of how a benevolent vigilante doesn't work. Like it's a nice concept, but there's never gonna be some problems that come up when like say, well, we have to make a competent judgment about, well, is this person evil or not? Or you know, how to handle this situation, and you know, his whole everything that goes on between people and the Joker is a really good example of the strain that comes with that issue, like how do you handle that type of situation? And it's it's a beautiful concept, but it's right for problems, and you know, it's kind of compounded by like Batman's own other issues, you know, that you know, as far as like his trauma and you know, his, you know, yeah, I don't I'm not using the word entanglement, but complications. Yeah, it's yeah, I think it's a perfect example of how vigilantes being your primary source of justice sounds great in theory.
SPEAKER_09Theory does not work very well in practice.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_09Um to be fair. Uh I'm not gonna say that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_03So we got the right. So far we got Batman and we have who's your first one? Harry Potter. Harry Potter. All right. So let's uh since uh Shampoo bracelets seem to have the uh first question on your uh, we'll let Shampoo bracelets go next.
SPEAKER_05Okay. No, go ahead. All right, so uh the first person I would like to put out there actually is um and I I guess uh because I was thinking about him as a personality and more so as how effective he was, and this is an anime, Goku. Uh well we know we all know first. I don't know if you can consider him a hero, for one, because he's selfish as hell. Yep. Um Father of the Year? Huh? Father of the year. Yeah, father of the year. No, father year is Piccolo. Um I'll give I'll give Piccolo or Vegeta that before I ever give Goku Yes. The issue I have with Goku is that at one Goku comes off. One, Goku is not the smartest of people. He's as he's practically sound as a fighter. Yeah, but he's not the smartest of people.
SPEAKER_02Not at all.
SPEAKER_05Uh the other thing that makes him ineffective in my mind is that as a human, he's kind of trash. Uh well, he's also not human, so it's a different either, but he did way better at it than uh Goku did. It's like that's my own.
SPEAKER_08Vegeta was properly educated and socialized. Also true.
SPEAKER_05Because it was it's a thing of Goku constantly, you keep thinking Goku's a hero, but really a lot of times Goku is just, it just so happens that the bad guy, the bad guy's ideas just so happen to fall against what Goku is doing at the moment.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_05Oh, Goku lives on that planet. If Goku doesn't live on the planet, not even that.
SPEAKER_08Not even that. Sometimes it's like, oh, you just have to, you just have to kill one of my friends. That's it. Not even that.
SPEAKER_03Not even that.
SPEAKER_04Oh, this guy is strong.
SPEAKER_03Exactly. That's what I was just about to say. He stands as the person comes to the planet and he's like, oh, a new fight? Oh, a new fight?
SPEAKER_05That's pretty much how it goes with Goku. So it's like, Goku's not thinking of if I don't stop this person, he's gonna kill my family, he's gonna do this, that third. It's uh, man, I don't beat this. I gotta beat this guy's ass. It's like it's it's sometimes it's a thing of it.
SPEAKER_08And that is why I love Lord Beer so much.
SPEAKER_05Like Ultra Instinct is just a new version of drunken fighter, drunken fighter, a drunken master. That's all it is. It's a thing of I got knocked out so hard that I suddenly got used to getting my ass whooped. It's like, okay, all right, cool, bro. Like it's like I wish somebody would hit me hard enough to where I can kick everybody's ass. You know, it's like it's a weird thing.
SPEAKER_08Well, no, I would say, I would say less that, because drunken fighting is more so grounded in the fact that if you are drunk, like drunk as shit, and you're doing your drunken kung fu, the the your drunkenness is supposed to numb the pain. So you you practically don't feel it anyway. It's not so much that you would be able to dodge it, but it's like you don't feel it. But ultra instinct is like you can just move the fuck out of the way.
SPEAKER_05That's the sad part about what you just said is that drunken fighting, you can actually do that on purpose. Yeah, like oh yeah, like for example, Juni, the the cheetah chick from Juni Tyson. She gets so she can move better. Goku gets slapped up so he can start the fight. It's like cool, that's cool.
unknownGreat.
SPEAKER_05Uh so it's like that was that's my first hero. My second hero is um Superman, actually.
SPEAKER_08Uh yeah. I agree.
SPEAKER_05I can go the who is the the second coming or the great white hope, however you want. Look at that.
SPEAKER_08The great um is the great white hope. Neither be repeated.
SPEAKER_05Think about it. Uh the fact that Superman's Superman can literally get beat depending on how his ideals lie at the moment. Um if a villain can convince him like perfect example, Ruello with uh Dark Side. Which way which can convince him that you know you want to fight evil, well, the evil is humanity and this and third, he will kill everybody on earth. Yeah, like hands down, because in his mind, he was convinced that this is justice. Whatever he holds justice to, which is uh uh great, great story was um, I can't remember the I think it was Red, pretty much Red Superman, um when he worked for the Soviet Union. What if Clark Kid landed in Russia instead of America?
SPEAKER_08Yep. I do like Gods and Monsters, Superman, where um Gods and Monsters where um General Zod actually put his DNA into the pod that was sent off. And um it was his child that grew up, and he grew up with um Hispanic family. Yeah, it was a migrant family. Um which was like a an uh different version of Man Bad, if anything, because it was I think it was the same, actually the same character who is Man Bad, but just in that universe.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. Yep, injustice was good too. Yes, Injustice Superman.
SPEAKER_05But that was probably the most effective Superman we've ever seen.
SPEAKER_03Every Superman that throws away his quote unquote heroic ideals to control the populace and explain to them that when I give you a choice, you don't listen properly and you cause more pain and strife and decides that I'm just gonna rule over you with an iron fist, is always the most effective Superman, which always ends up happening at the end of the day, as long as Lois is dead.
SPEAKER_05But then I'm about to say, as long as Lois maybe at all.
SPEAKER_03Or not there at all.
SPEAKER_05But pretty much, that's pretty much saying that every alternate universe or different ideas Superman, except for the original himself, is effective.
SPEAKER_03I agree with you conclusion.
SPEAKER_05You have to make an alternate universe version of a hero for them to be effective, it gets no worse than this.
SPEAKER_08And you know what? My one of my favorite to go back to Godzilla Monster Superman, my favorite thing about him was like the way he and Clark were raised were completely different. Clark was raised on this kind of like blue-collar, white, all-American farm. And no, like um Godzilla, I'll call him Zod Superman. Zod Superman was raised by a uh a brown family, a family who was a migrant, they were migrant workers. They um they had to experience, he had to experience all of the lowest parts of humanity, all like the oppression, the racism.
SPEAKER_06He had to be represented once.
SPEAKER_08Right, he's sometimes he got a chance to get to all of those parts. He didn't have this, oh, everyone's good, you know, American. Like, he didn't fight for peace, justice in the American way. He fought for the people and he fought for what was right for others. And when Zoe tried to check him about it, he was like, listen, you don't know where the fuck I came from.
SPEAKER_11This is where I came from.
SPEAKER_08This is the part of the world that I saw. And this is what it this is what the rest of the world means because I saw um, and God's like Zod Superman being this subversion of what you know, main universe Superman, I guess, is supposed to be, um, was the more realistic version.
SPEAKER_05But in the same sense, if you say that, I would like to also point out that uh when you say that, okay, he was raised by a Spanish family, he got to see the lows, he got to really work, find watch his family struggle and work up. Another person I would like to point out, another superman that I would like to point out, Superboy Pride. The fact that he was changed so easily, uh he was trapped, you know, in the little, I want to say that multiverse chair or whatever it was. No, he was trapped in there. He got to watch what was going on with the world, and it turned because his ideals, because how young he was, it turned him evil.
SPEAKER_11Yep.
SPEAKER_05So you gotta think it was that easy. It wasn't like he was that much different than Superman. He wasn't, it was just an age difference. He just got caught at a different point than the regular Superman did. He got turned evil because he was like, Oh, the world is screwed. Like, yeah, don't be done, dog.
SPEAKER_08Like we knew that. He's like, we knew that.
SPEAKER_05But you know, why you coming up in the the 70s and then seeing what you know 80s, 90s, 2000s looked like, he was fucked. So it was so it was a thing of if your views, if you can become evil that easily, it wasn't like you were wrong. He wasn't wrong at all. He wasn't hurt in any way, shape, at all. He just watched TV too much. And now he's evil.
SPEAKER_08It's like if you have itself is, you know, literarily speaking, uh a problem.
SPEAKER_03But keep in mind, the TV that he watched was the channel five, the channel six, the channel seven, the channel eight, and the channel nine news.
SPEAKER_05Actually, that was it. He just watched reality TV and got to see some stuff he didn't agree with. He was like, I gotta be evil. So that was uh that was another the fact that you can get changed evil that easily is really crazy to be honest. And that shows how much he lives on his ideals, and if your ideals can be shattered like that, your whole mindset can be shattered, like that's not an effective hero by any means. Yeah, that was my that was my that's a two I said.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Uh so let's move to someone who uh seemed to be in agreement, except for one, with most of the ones that have uh transpired so far, which is Ms. Skittles.
SPEAKER_10Oh, that's me.
SPEAKER_00So I mean yeah.
SPEAKER_10Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Uh so my uh hero, um actually I'm probably gonna get a little hate, but I I don't I don't care because I feel like everybody knows this. And I'm just what's on everybody's mind.
SPEAKER_08You about to say what I think you're gonna say? I'm waiting.
SPEAKER_00I am going to choose Usaye, Sailor Moon.
SPEAKER_02Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's how I thought I was gonna mean by the literally 100% agree with her. We had the other podcast, and Joe was about to tear her to shreds, and I was like, you know, I was gonna wait. So I won't. I agree with you. I agree with you, Miss Kittle. She was on my list. So please.
SPEAKER_08Wait, wait, wait. Are we talking about Sailor Moon Crystal Usagi? Are we talking about 90 Usagi?
SPEAKER_06They all suck. Please don't even start with never mind.
SPEAKER_00Let me oh no, we're not gonna do that. So Sailor Moon is close and near and dear to my heart, is one of my original animes. Um, however, this young lady, this young lady, uh to watch her as uh Princess Serenity in the in the same age and and to her reincarnation of uh Usagi is just it is like night and day. And you have this young girl who who's still where was she at? Middle school, high school, middle school? Yeah, middle school, just lazy, like just just a poor student, uh like poor daughter, poor, like just everything, just wrong. And she's just so selfish, so self-involved, uh it just didn't make any sense for her to be the the main protagonist or uh the the hero of these scouts. Like this is this was their leader, dog. Like this is you know, and every and all of the scouts were way more mature than she was. And and it took her, it took her uh a long time, um Neo Queen to get to a point where you kind of like, okay, well, you know, she grew up, but uh her reincarnation as uh Usage was just and she was ineffective. Uh, you know, the scouts the scouts saved her half the time. Um Luna saved her half the time. Uh Tuxedo Mass saved her half the time. It was it was a lot of halves. It was it was a lot of okay, we about to do all the heavy work, and at the end, I'm gonna need you to throw this Tiara and not to mention she and Mars got into it a lot. Right. So it just um even though I like I said I loved I love the series, but Sailor Moon as a hero, just not it. Not it. She she's the definition of uh needing teamwork. Teamwork makes you dream work.
SPEAKER_08So I told her. Get it together.
SPEAKER_00Get it together, like, and I mean, honestly, without her friends, I don't she wouldn't have made it to Neo Queen anything. She wouldn't have made it impossible.
SPEAKER_01I agree with you. Everything you pretty much said was literally what I was gonna say. Like, she literally needs to be handheld. It's like everybody go ahead, go get your asses whooping there at the last minute. I'm gonna come out and blow out with this chalice or this tiara or this wand. And then it came to a point where then she needed Chibi Moon next to her. Why is this little girl more effective than you? I'm confused. What's going on?
SPEAKER_00From the future, guys, show you what to do. She tried, she dropped in. Yo, Chibi Moon dropped in, pulled a gun on her, like, hey.
SPEAKER_01Chibi Moon had more balls than Usagi, like that's a problem. Usagi was the worst character. I mean, I didn't watch Tailwind for her. I didn't because you had you had so many, you had so many Sailor Scouts. You had Sailor Scouts.
SPEAKER_08I watched it for Pluto. Yeah, Pluto, yeah, Jupiter.
SPEAKER_01Pluto was my favorite. You have Sailor Saturn was my favorite as well. And then here goes this little girl. But again, then again, she was a child. So that would that's an that's on another conversation because Texedomas.
SPEAKER_03That's not even a different conversation. Oh Sailor Mercury was in the same grade. She was she was on the road taking college classes and high school classes all at the same time. And she was running the temple. What's up? Mars was running the temple. Mercury was in the exact same class as Usagi.
SPEAKER_01I thought you said Mercury was a genius, though. Mercury was a genius. Usagi was stupid. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_11She was smarter than her, honestly.
SPEAKER_01She was the one reason why they had to have those study sessions because she was the one that was holding them down. You're trying to say she made it to Queen's Serenity. Right. Like a true Sailor Moon watcher knows that Usagi was stupid. Like she was though. I mean, that's just how it was. She was dumb. And then she was, when it came to her power, she was reincarnated. You know, when I think the moon kingdom was destroyed, you know, and then everybody went to Earth. She was reincarnated into this immature little brat. She was a brat.
SPEAKER_00She was. As I said, you look at Princess Serenity and compared to Usaga. It's like, what the fuck happened?
SPEAKER_08Right. Everybody else got reincarnated. Was somebody effective, you know, somebody has some sense, somebody smart, somebody strong, somebody capable. Bitch, what happened to you? What happened?
SPEAKER_01Because from what I remember, she even was given um advice from her mom and be like, This is this is who you need to be. This is what you need to do. She said, Screw all that. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_08Maybe they dropped her. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01Maybe she dropped her head on the way to Earth. I don't know.
SPEAKER_08Maybe her mom was drinking and smoking while she was pregnant. I don't know. Something had to happen.
SPEAKER_01I agree. She was on my list because I never liked her, even as a child. There was too many. Like there were too many other Sailor Scouts. That's what happened to Goku. So intelligent that really, you know, teamwork when you have a group project and you have that one person that do don't do don't do shit.
SPEAKER_02Oh, don't do that.
SPEAKER_03Don't do that.
SPEAKER_01I'm not gonna get a C because of her. Hell no. She can get out. She can get out.
SPEAKER_03Sage clean uh finished the presentation. That's what she did. Everybody else did all the work. She finished the presentation and made everybody like it. You didn't show up to the show for all the other Sailor Scouts. Sailor Moon is the one with the name on the project. This is Sailor Moon presented by the Sailor Scouts. That's what it is.
SPEAKER_10You see it?
SPEAKER_01And then she wants to step in with her hair. Hello, guys. I can save you after you guys got your ass beat. Let me save you. Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_08The most annoying part was we don't have to fight, guys. Yes, bitch. Yes, the fuck you do. That's why all we are in here. That's what these powers are for.
SPEAKER_01She was. Did you not see the between sequence? Handheld the entire time. And then when she did the final blow, after her nails was dead and her head was dead. No, hell no. No.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Did uh Miss Skittles or Damo, did you have a secondary person?
SPEAKER_01So my secondary person honestly um is probably a little bit more. We probably some of y'all probably watched it. Um Gwen and I talked about it last week. Uh Luther from Umbrella Academy.
SPEAKER_08Oh, okay. Oh, fuck Luther. Um Luther yet, but fuck Luther.
SPEAKER_03Just in case you haven't seen Umbrella Academy, I'm pretty sure whatever she's about to say is gonna be a spoiler. So throwing it out there. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_01I should have saw it by now. Like, damn, it's August. Um at least season one.
SPEAKER_08You don't need to see both seasons to hate Luther. You can hate Luther in season one off the power of means.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. You can hate Luther from season one. Like, first of all, he was he got sent to the moon because he was ineffective as a leader. He got sent to the moon for years. So then this time, and then you couldn't save your siblings, and you're supposed to be the quote unquote strongest. And then in season two, you pretty much cried and rich the whole season. Like the whole season. You lost the fight that was already set up for you to win because you were emotional because your technically half-sister got remarried, but although you never looked for filling all the tea.
SPEAKER_03What part of spoilers?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, um, and then he still was ineffective at the end because he got knocked on his ass by their other sibling. We won't mention her then. That better?
SPEAKER_02Oh, thanks.
SPEAKER_01It will call her the chameleon. Okay. Um, so he was just ineffective for two fucking seasons. Why is he number one? I feel like number five should be number one.
SPEAKER_06So there's actually a fan theory that like the numbers the the lower your number is, the least effective you are. So the fair number, so like Vanya is number seven because she's the most powerful. All right. That makes more sense. That was close to my faves, you know.
SPEAKER_00Because that's the Luther. Oh my god. I can't look season one. I could, I just is like, who is why? Why did you go back to the moon? Send them back.
SPEAKER_01They could have saved the world without him. Like he was not.
SPEAKER_06It's good that they could have had Pogo and still done the exact same. Like now we could have a good one.
SPEAKER_01Pogo was whooping ass in season two. I think Pogo would have been a little bit better too.
SPEAKER_07RIPO. I didn't know.
SPEAKER_01I would have had P Pogo in the show. Like he was just kind of there. Like, I almost forgot, even as big as his ass was, I forgot he was kind of in the show until he showed up. I was like, oh, what do you what do you do again? But like this bitch wanted to complain across the corner. Oh, oh, okay, I forgot you were a sibling. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_09Was an active detriment. Like, was it just in effect? Ryan's forehand did more than he did. Every year up to this point, I I I could have made an argument to the to the contrary.
SPEAKER_08But Luther's like, listen, everybody else I can support in some way, shape, or form, but this nigga, I got nothing.
SPEAKER_09He gave me nothing to work with. It's so worthless. Season one probably wouldn't have happened if he wasn't there. Like it was uh like it and if season one didn't happen, we wouldn't have had a season two. So so why why why number five going back in time fixing shit? That's one thing that could get nipped in the butt. Um fix that was such, such he was a disappointment to the point where I didn't, I was, I was just like, I was just thinking like, all right, Gerard, so I I get this character has this purpose, this character has this purpose, this character, this character invokes this. What the fuck is Luther? Why is he on the thing? Why did you write this nigga?
SPEAKER_06Right! For this reason though.
SPEAKER_09Yeah, like I honestly the only thing I can think of is that he he really wanted to turn the uh like because usually like the super strong person in the powerhouse is either overly competent or they or they're in the leadership role. And and Luther in every way turns that on his head. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01He's like he's almost like a little child. Like what last season he got drunk and he couldn't hold his liquor. This season he got hot and he was just kind of really out of it. Like, and then so much crap happened after that. But yes, Luther's like a child in a grown man's body. Oh and that's a reverse with number five. He's an actual grown man in a child's body, right? So I like that.
SPEAKER_11They're all emotional Klaus.
SPEAKER_01I love Klaus. I actually don't like a lot of Klaus. Yeah, Klaus, um, I like him because he was actually but we are going to have an Umbrella Academy episode later.
SPEAKER_03Uh Miss Skittles, did you have a another uh uh hero?
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. Okay.
SPEAKER_08And Usagi caught all that smoke.
SPEAKER_03Yes, uh Sid Seone seemed to about to be go off on uh she's about to get a the engine started. I'll let you go ahead and give yours, even though I believe Usagi was one of yours. Do you have any others?
SPEAKER_01Yes. Um, I don't like Bakugo at all. Like I never liked him.
SPEAKER_08Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_08They just dropped the second episode of OVA.
SPEAKER_03I don't care if you know where he's from.
SPEAKER_01But yeah, I mean, Bakugo, everybody knows Bakugo. He's the guy from uh My Hero Academia. I just don't like him because it's different if I see an asshole character have growth. At least I'm watching the anime. I'm I'm I haven't watched the manga, I'm I haven't read the manga, so I can't attest for the manga if there is growth in there. But for the anime, he ain't shit and he never watched it. I can't stand him. Yes, he's listening he is very powerful. I'm talking about his personality, he's an animal, and everybody, I don't want to really see who's gonna be like, no, he's really nice. No, he's not his dick. Okay, and he's always been like that since a child. Like he was a horrible creating since a little child. And then you have Midoria, you know, yeah, Midoria, you know, it's kind of annoying, but he's sweet and cute. But like Midoria, I have my own reservations with him too, but even still, he just wanted to have a friend. And Babago was like, no, I don't want your cooties, I don't like you. And I'm like, well, what's the thing? And like, even when he when it comes to All Might, he looked at All Might, not because he looked up to him, he was just a pinnacle of somebody he wanted to be. He was no hero. He just wanted to use his bravado to just be and be the best. So even when it came to people dying, whatever, it was like, well, I'll save them because I'm the best. It wasn't because I'll save them because I actually care about them. He is selfish as hell. And he's an asshole, and I don't like him. And he's always the entire first season, an asshole. I'm like, oh, okay, maybe the second season, you know, some growth. No, he's just always there. I don't know what his point is. I mean, I guess he's strong, but I mean, I just can't stand him.
SPEAKER_08I do like we were watching the OVA last night. And Bakugo is absolutely powerful. He is very smart, but no, you're right. He he's a he's a complete asshole. And even past even up to the most recent season, he character-wise, he's had very little growth. His gro his his personality growth is very glacial.
SPEAKER_11Yeah.
SPEAKER_08And it's less uh it's not less anything. Like he's he hasn't changed much as a person.
SPEAKER_02He had a scope of growth in the movie. A scope.
SPEAKER_08And that was the that was the movie, which isn't it? It was like, it was enough for you to lie. It's like when you have to pee, it's like when you have to poop, and then you pops, and you prairie dog, and you pop out and you do all this push and then you pop out like a tiny little nugget. That's the that's the amount of character. That baby was that. It was, you're welcome.
SPEAKER_06That was I don't know if I ever don't want that experience in my life because I've never had it, but like that's weird. So there is a fan theory, and I only know this because I read a lot of fan theories. So there is a fan theory because uh the nitroglycerin that like he excretes, right? Yeah, actually does have an effect. I'm sorry, doctor, somebody, but does have an effect on his personality, so he has to remain at a stagnant rate in order for him to like maintain his like sanity.
SPEAKER_03I don't think she's buying it.
SPEAKER_11I don't think he was a dick when he was five. He was a dick and five. That doesn't even matter. Two weeks ago.
SPEAKER_06You have Endeavor, who's like the ultimate idea of that. Like, Endeavor doesn't care. He just wants to be All Might, you know? He he didn't even care that what he did was illegal with his sons and daughters, okay? He's another one, huh?
SPEAKER_03She's like, he's not exempt.
SPEAKER_07Wait, the doctor? What were you saying? Yeah, no, like I was about to say, like, I completely agree with the wrong box. Like, it's really because when I watched the first season, I really thought this boy, his whole two things is different. Like, that's his entire central part of his character. He seemed perfect to be a character that gets some character development, kind of shifts a little bit and grows, and I really expected that because it did so well. And it didn't happen. Like completely centrally.
SPEAKER_06I am with Kirishima, and only because I fan the Kiribakugo uh like ship, you know, I super fan that whole gayness. The whole gayness. And they fan serviced it in the movie. Don't tell me that they did it, because they did.
SPEAKER_07But I was, I really was, like, and I expected so much more about to me. A lot of people are dicks, but he's a rare example of a character who's enough of a dick adorse a lot of his other qualities. Oh, yeah, he's like the asshole floor of the main character. You know.
SPEAKER_08Sorry, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Miss Kittles, you were about to say something?
SPEAKER_00Oh, uh, I was about to say if Bakugo ever gets some cheats, that girl don't love herself.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_08Okay. I'm so proud of that. I'm so proud of that statement. Okay. No, I was gonna say, like, even when Bakugo was humbled, he still was an asshole. I can at the very least say, when Sasuke got his ass humbled, he had to rethink a couple things. Like, he had to go back and reevaluate some shit. Bakugo's just unnecess unnecessarily headstrong. Um, to the point where any any hope of character development at this point is virtually non existent.
SPEAKER_03Not necessarily. They could be adults. But anywho.
SPEAKER_01Okay. That's basically what everybody's saying. He's a strong ain't shit person.
SPEAKER_03So did you have another one, Miss Say One?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I do. I'm gonna go into mythology. Zeus ain't shit either.
SPEAKER_03Oh god.
SPEAKER_01I don't want you said that. I don't want to say that. He's not.
SPEAKER_03Zeus isn't a hero.
SPEAKER_01He well, it depends on who you talk to.
SPEAKER_08I mean, it depends on when you're when you're reading.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, when it comes to he is a god, and people still revere him as a hero because he got shit done. He still first of all, he's a cheater, master speeder. He dules this incest. He is a murderer, a rapist. Like he goes down the list. I've never seen nothing like it in my entire life. Yo, he will turn into a swan. He's like, I like this woman. Let me turn into a swan and rape her. I have her now. What? Like he is the worst human being. Like he turned people into cows. Like he's like, I want her. If you don't want me, bet. I'm a raper. What? Like, no, no, no, no, no. Zeus is horrible. I want, I don't know anyone that's like, Zeus is amazing. No, he's a dick. He's an asshole. He is a rapist. He is a murderer. Prometheus, he basically had him had his eyes picked out by the vulture for all eternity.
SPEAKER_08Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Prometheus just wanted to give fire.
SPEAKER_08Fire to the human. He just brought the fire of the gods down to Earth.
SPEAKER_01Exactly. We were cold, we were shivering. He's like, you know what? Let me give you guys some warmth. Dude's like, nah, get the hell out of that. Nah, nigga, nah, nah, nah. We just gonna make sure these vultures eat your eyes for all eternity because that's what you need. What? For what though? Like, no. And then even Pandora's box was all him. So he Yeah, Pandora was the first um woman on Earth, I believe, if my mythology speaks correctly. And then he was given as a gift to one of the other, I think, demigods or another people, another person. And one of the gods, like, don't accept that gift from Zeus because he ain't shit, he's gonna do some steamy stuff.
SPEAKER_08So don't do a girl.
SPEAKER_01All right. He still accepted the gift. And what he did was that um, so Pandora was crafted basically. She was manufactured in a way. She wasn't like born, she was created and manufactured. Yeah, I think by Athena, if that's correct. And so he gave one of the gifts, kind of like Maleficent, when she gave the gift of you know, curiosity, so to speak, to Aurora. He gave the same gift to Pandora. And so she had this box with her. And um, the guy's like, don't open this box. So she's looking at this box, like, mmm, look at this box, like, mmm, and open the box, and all hell broke loose. That was Zeus' creation. So Zeus just ain't shit. He's a he's a very powerful being, but yet I digress. He ain't shit. So those are my two.
SPEAKER_08And that, and that is the gospel truth. Oh, you guys.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh. Um, so I guess I'll go next. Um, so actually, like I said, uh, I have a few, um, but I'm not gonna like go into detail about all of them. Uh, one of them was DC Comics, Superman, and Batman. So you guys already covered that. Don't have to touch that. Um, another one I had, I actually went a little bit everywhere. Like I didn't stay within anime and manga. I actually went to wrestling as well. Um I know some people won't know who this is. Uh, so one of mine is uh Johnny Gargano. He's a a wrestler on um uh WWE NXT. And real quick, the concept is he was supposed to be like the heart and soul of NXT, supposed to be like this fighter that, you know, he goes up against the odds, he fights against the big guy, and he strives and he fights and he wins and he gets a championship. And then, so he's actually the first ever triple crown winner, which means he won uh the uh main title, uh secondary title, and then a tag team title. Now, nobody appreciated it in his mind. He believes that he did all this stuff and everybody's supposed to be excited for him, and then they like just threw him to the wayside because now he's like technically a villain and he's upset because like all heart, no soul, like I don't give a crap about any of you guys because I did all the things I had to do, and then when I lost, you booed me. I strive to be like the pinnacle of this entire company, and I lost one match and you booed me, and then he lost another match and they booed him. Then he won a match, they still booed him, and it's like this whole pattern of I'm upset now because you guys showed me no love. And he was supposed to be this hero. He literally was written in as the hero. He was supposed to, even if he lost, he was still supposed to be what they call a babyface, which is kind of like a good person in wrestling. And the problem was wrestler, uh wrestling fans are very fickle. They're like, um, I'm not gonna say it, but they're very fickle. So, because of that, once they started booing him, they were done. They were like, fuck it, you I don't care, boo you forever. And they've been booing him ever since. But like I said, that's just a small wrestling one. But the next one I really want to go into was um uh Indiana Jones.
SPEAKER_08Now, Indiana Jones the ultimate colonizer.
SPEAKER_03Indiana Jones is the one killmonger was talking about, has been slated as a hero for years. Like as a kid, I think all of us have heard his name at least once, whether it's because our parents watched the movie or we saw it on TV or what have you saw, played the game, whatever. Uh, but Indiana Jones has been around for a very long time. Indiana Jones is supposed to be like this person who well, and the thing is, if you really think about it, back when you were a kid, what heroic feat has Indiana Jones actually accomplished other than saving a woman that he had sex with? Anybody?
SPEAKER_06Grave robbed me.
SPEAKER_03I said heroic feat.
SPEAKER_06Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_03Well, I mean, if you're white, then grave robbing is a world feat. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you're white, grave robbing is called archaeology. So he specifically is a world-renowned archaeologist. Hey, hey, no, shampoo bracelets, look over here. Archaeology. So he specifically is a world-renowned archaeologist. And if you think of uh Raiders of the Locks Arc or even the most recent, um, what was it, the goal? Crystal Skull. Um, he even if you categorize what his heroism or uh heroism is, he was supposed to accomplish a certain goal based off the definition, accomplish a certain goal, get some type of accolade, and uh uh um uh inspire and embody a specific feat, right? So technically he was supposed to gain this you know treasure or you know gain this uh new thing that nobody's ever seen before and bring it to the world, right? But if you really think about both of those, both of the big things, the uh the the Ark of the Covenant and the Crystal Skull, he didn't come back home with. He he went there, hundreds of people were killed, shot, thrown into lions' dens, fallen on spikes, rolled over by boulders, drowned in rivers, eaten by crocodiles, swallowed in anthills, fire ants at that. He came home with nothing but a woman, the same woman in both of those movies, but no actual treasure, no actual goal, no actual um thing to make him a hero. Yet, world renowned as like honestly, in my opinion, a bigger hero than Indiana Jones is Carmen San Diego. Not going there though, not going there, but I agree with you. I see what you're doing. We're gonna come back to that one. Um so uh that was one. I'm gonna try to go through all of mine real quick. Uh, World Trigger, uh Osamu. Uh, I think he's like, he's the technically supposed to be the protagonist of that show. Um, he's trash, like 100%. You go back and watch it, you'll see what I mean. I'm not gonna go into details with it. Um, one of the ones I wanted to do, uh, but I don't have the time to go into, is Link from Legend of Zelda. Um, Link is categorically supposed to be the hero of Hyrule, right? The hero of Hyrule is supposed to do like a set amount of things.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Jacobs, you said that you wanted to mention it real quick, and then we'll just go breeze over it. And Mark's literally about to have a hole. So now we're gonna have to go into that.
SPEAKER_03Okay, okay, okay, okay. Then let me do this. We'll go into link. Let me do the other one. Say the other one. I won't go into that one, and we'll go into the link. So the other one, which somebody, I think somebody else is gonna want to go into this one, is from Rising of the Shield Hero. Uh, the cardinal heroes or the three cardinal stooges ran into Kyotoyatsu. But those obviously, those are they were they were slated as heroes, and I believe everybody who saw Rising of the Shield Hero, you know what they are. They're trash, they're trash garbage. I'm just saying, some people, you know, felt I actually read something, I read something. Um, I read something, and specifically said that they feel like they were uh written into a box, and it was unfair for how they were uh uh uh written as because they could have been something else. And I was like, well, that's the purpose of writing a story, you know, stories.
SPEAKER_08Well, now Fumi gave them the opportunity, multiple opportunities to be more at the beginning and several times after that. Many opportunities to be more than what they were, they weren't shit from jump.
SPEAKER_03I agree. So, but like I said, I was gonna go into it. So, rewinding back to Legend of Zelda, uh Link. So, as I was saying, Link is a hero, uh, or categorically supposed to be a hero. Um, we all know that uh Legend of Zelda is one of the franchises on Nintendo.
SPEAKER_08Um that you know and love dear and close to your heart.
SPEAKER_03No, it's it's my favorite franchise. Um, you know, there's a Mario, there's a uh Samus, there's uh Star Fox, and you know, there's Link. Um, which, you know, for years people were calling him Zelda. So um Link is supposed to be the hero of Hyrule by their lore. Uh every single iteration, because he's technically reincarnated in every game, he's supposed to uh come of age, uh put on his tunic, find his fairy, and then go on a go off on a quest where he finds his sword, his shield, and then conquers whatever evil villain is uh uh um bringing fear to either Hyrule or whatever location he's in. But now.
SPEAKER_08Oh, so he does he die in all all of these adventures?
SPEAKER_03Uh I can't confirm nor deny what you're talking about. Um but I will say in every single story, Link is supposed to accomplish a certain task. He's supposed to, like I said, beat the villain or save quote unquote the princess, you know, Mario syndrome. Um but the problem is, although Link is cre is controlled by us, technically, we're the hero. Um, there are certain things that he does in every game that causes the world to be much worse than it actually could have been. Um and I'm looking at Shampoo Brace's face, I'm trying to see where you're um where the argument's about to start. I'll let you go now before I finish. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_04Oh no, go ahead.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So uh Link's main task in most of his games is to collect, you know, a jewel, three jewels, uh weapons, some type of armory to prepare himself to be strong enough to take on the main antagonist of the story, which norm normally is either Ganon, Ganondorf, or the Lord of Demise. Um uh inside the storyline, though, he normally releases Ganon, Ganodorf, or the Lord of Demise to gain the power to defeat said person, therefore causing kind of the Pandora's box type of concept, opening the box and releasing it onto the world. Now, there's only one or two of those games where the you know the evil is already there, but the evil's already there, but he fell into an avatar syndrome where he was locked in sleep for a long period of time, or he was locked in somebody else's body for a period of time, therefore kind of leaving the world to fall to shit. Um, then I could go into Zelda, but I'm not gonna touch that. I'm not gonna touch that.
SPEAKER_10I was gonna say I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_03I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_08But I can specifically say the doctor was like, All right, watch them out.
SPEAKER_01All the crickets were coming out, and they were like, I even put my mute on just in case. I'm like, let me hide.
SPEAKER_08I was like, we have listen. I thought we got our own little triforth of Link of Velvet right now.
SPEAKER_07Interesting, like I do agree with you though, and I think on you know, a lot of the issues with Link, and I think it parallels one of my choices I want to talk about with this issue with recurring villains. And like where, you know, how effective can a hero be if the villain they have to fight, they keep being forced to fight over and over again. Like they're not making the wall last, you know. All of them, mostly.
SPEAKER_05All of them, very much. Yeah, and one argument that I do have here though is that in terms of Batman, they keep escaping a jail that he could easily just put money into or just take them out. But like he believes in the police.
SPEAKER_08No, I would say my only pushback, my only pushback for that would be that Bruce would have to invest money into a system that he already has enough information to know isn't going to work, and he doesn't have the have enough influence to make it work in the way that it probably would need to. He believes in the police. No, he could. If Bruce believed in the police, he wouldn't be doing what he does. But if if if Bruce didn't believe in the police, he would lock up all of those people himself. But that's what I'm saying. That would involve that would that's what I was saying earlier. That would involve Bruce investing in private time.
SPEAKER_05Like I said, to that extent, you just said that. What you just said about if Bruce didn't believe in the police, he would lock them up. I honestly think Bruce locks them up, so he has something to do later. It's almost like you put a stack in the fridge and then come back to it later when you get hungry again. I don't know.
SPEAKER_08I would say I don't know, because Bruce, because they don't just get locked up in prison, right? They get locked up in Arkham Asylum. Like it's not simply just a prison, it's a mental institution. And it's that's kind of like the overarching theme of all of Batman's villains. They are all subject to some sort of psychosis or some sort of crazy stigmatizing term. They're all subject to some sort of like mental health problem. And that is why they get put in a mental health institution. Now, they are all of them are definitely dealing with some mental health issues, but they're also dealing with a degree of psychosis that influences a lot of the way in which they act. Yes. And that's and part of, and so I guess putting them in Arkham Asylum or investing in them going into Arkham Asylum is more so investing in their well, some sort of some degree of healing or wellness rather than just putting them away.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, I was going that's why I said specifically uh now when I said he believes in the police, I wanted to clarify that it's more so he believes in this process of them not just being incarcerated for a period of time and hit them going to what we've been lied to and told that you know that's what prisons are supposed to be for, which is reformation, which is you go in, you're supposed to get some type of healing, learn new trades, and then come back out. So by them going to Arkham Asylum, they're supposed to be getting some type of treatment, some type of healing, and then they're supposed to be eventually let back out. Because I mean it wouldn't take nothing to send inside of the population.
SPEAKER_08Because I'm saying it would take nothing to send them niggas to Bel Rev. Let Amanda Waller get involved, though. Everybody will be in Bel Rev.
SPEAKER_10Okay.
SPEAKER_03We all had so much more to say and share that we decided to make this into a two parter. Look forward to our next episode where we conclude our talk about this topic.